神聖的追尋

-- 尊者 強諦瑪西亞多開示錄

A Noble Search

– Dhamma Talks By Venerable Sayadaw U Candima

尊者　 鄔達摩長老Bhikkhu Uttamo 　

自緬甸語錄音帶譯為 英文

(參考用譯文)

特別聲明：本參考用譯文疏漏、錯繆難免，讀者應慎思明辨。僅供法友參考；並祈藉此拋磚引玉，眾法友能共襄盛舉，共同圓滿此譯事。 Nanda 謹識。

Introduction

This is a book about two Burmese monks—Thae Inn Gu Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha and Sayadaw U Candima (Sandima). Both of them are well-known meditation teachers in Burma. Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha passed away in 1973 at the age of 60. Sayadaw U Candima is still alive and in his 70. Both of their lives are interesting and give us some Dhamma reflection. They are not scholar monk and even do not know much about the Buddha Dhamma. Before their practices they were just traditional Buddhists and like majority of Buddhists. They are different from the others; it is they have pāramīs from their past lives, strong saṃvega (sense of wise urgency) and can give up their lives for the Dhamma.

Thae Inn Gu Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha

Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha was born in 1913 in a village of Maw-be town not far from Rangoon (Yangon) on the way to Mingaladon Airport. He was named Moung Aung Tun by the parents. When he was young not interested in study and only has very basic education. According to his talk he was married twice and had a wife in his village and the other in Rangoon. He separated his time in these two places. During the time of farming, he stayed at his village. After the cultivation, he lived with the other wife in Rangoon. He lived his life as an alcoholic, gambler, a professional thug and robber. He spent some time in prison for his crimes.

At the age of 46, when he was in Rangoon, he went with two accomplices to rob a house at night. It seemed that the owner of the house knew their plans and waited for them with a long knife. When he was leading the others and entering the house and attached by the man inside. The knife fell on his head, and he fell down with his buttock on the floor. The man did not strike again, that they ran out for their lives. He was wearing a hat on that occasion, and it saved his life. This life-threatening incident let him have strong saṃvega. After healing his wounds, he returned to the village with his wife's book, which was about the life and practice of Soon Loon Sayadaw's. From that time on, he observed the nine precepts and confined himself to a room in the village monastery; he then diligently practiced meditation according to the book.

We can read about his life and practice in the following translation of his some Dhamma talks which include four talks here. The first talk had no date and place, but it seems to be at his Thae Inn Gu meditation center in Maw-be. It was requested by a lay disciple, and it took more than three hours long. It mentioned his life from young boy to until his practice up to arahant. The 2^nd talk is in 1964 at University Dhammasāla and about the practice from stream enterer to arahant. The last two talks are in 1968 at Mye-nigon Dhammasāla. The first talk on the practice of becoming a sotāpanna and the other to become an arahant.

Sayadaw possessed a clear and good voice. Sometimes his talks were like reciting poems and had a smooth and continuous flow. He knows nothing about the Suttas, and he left it to the reader to decide whether some of his interpretations of the Dhamma are in accordance with the Suttas. Sayadaw talked the Dhamma according to his seeing and understanding.

導言

本書講述的是兩位緬甸僧人——塔因古尊者優‧鄔喀塔（Thae Inn Gu Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha）與尊者優‧真帝馬（或譯：三帝馬，Sayadaw U Candima / Sandima）的故事。兩位皆是緬甸著名的禪修導師。優‧鄔喀塔尊者於1973年圓寂，享年六十歲；優‧真帝馬尊者目前仍健在，年逾七旬。他們的生命歷程各具特色，亦引發我們對佛法的省思。

他們並非學問型的僧人，甚至對佛陀的教法也所知不多。在修行之前，他們只是如同多數一般佛教徒那樣的傳統信仰者。然而，他們之所以與眾不同，是因為他們具備過去世所培植的波羅蜜（pāramī），並懷有強烈的「法怖畏」（saṃvega，對生死流轉的智慧警覺），甚至能為了佛法而犧牲自己的生命。

塔因古尊者 優‧鄔喀塔（Thae Inn Gu Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha）

優‧鄔喀塔尊者於1913年出生在靠近仰光（現稱仰光）的茂比鎮（Maw-be）附近的一個村落，就位於通往明加拉頓機場的路上。父母為他取名為「昂吞」（Moung Aung Tun）。年幼時，他對學習毫無興趣，僅受過最基本的教育。

根據他自己的說法，他曾結過兩次婚，一位妻子在村裡，另一位在仰光。他在這兩地分配時間：耕作期間住在村裡，農事結束後則與仰光的妻子同住。他曾過著酗酒、賭博、甚至從事暴力與搶劫的生活，是一名職業流氓與罪犯，也因此曾被關進監獄服刑。

他46歲那年，在仰光時，與兩名同夥夜間前往一處住宅行竊。看來屋主早已得知他們的計劃，手持長刀守在屋內。當他領著同伴進屋時，被屋主襲擊，長刀砍在他的頭上，他當場跌坐在地。然而，屋主並未再補刀，他們得以逃命。他當時頭戴帽子，正好保住性命。這次與死神擦肩的經歷，激起了他強烈的法怖畏之心。傷癒後，他帶著妻子的書返回村中，那本書講述的是順隆尊者（Soon Loon Sayadaw）的生平與修行。

自此之後，他開始受持九戒，並閉關於村中寺院的一間房裡，依據書中的教導精進禪修。

關於他的生平與修行，可從以下幾篇法談譯文中一窺全貌。本書收錄了其中四篇開示。第一篇無明確日期與地點，推測應是在茂比的塔因古禪修中心，係由一位在家弟子請求所說，全場超過三小時。內容從他年幼時的生活談起，一直講到證得阿羅漢的修行歷程。第二篇開示於1964年在大學法堂（University Dhammasāla），內容講述從入流者（sotāpanna）到阿羅漢的修行過程。最後兩篇開示於1968年在緬儂（Mye-nigon）法堂，一篇關於如何成為入流者，另一篇則是如何證得阿羅漢。

尊者說法語調清晰悅耳，有時像在吟誦詩句般，聲音流暢綿延。他對經藏並無涉獵，因此他對佛法的詮釋是否符合佛經，則交由讀者自行判斷。他所說之法，皆根據自身的體驗與智慧所見。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

前言

本書介紹兩位緬甸僧侶——泰因谷尊者伍烏卡塔（Thae Inn Gu Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha）與尊者伍坎迪瑪（Sayadaw U Candima，又稱桑迪瑪）。他們兩位都是緬甸知名的禪修老師。尊者伍烏卡塔於一九七三年圓寂，享年六十歲。尊者伍坎迪瑪至今仍健在，已年逾七旬。他們兩位的人生都充滿興味，並能啟發我們對佛法的省思。他們並非學者型的僧侶，甚至對佛陀的教法所知不多。在修行之前，他們如同大多數的佛教徒一般，只是傳統的佛教信徒。他們與眾不同之處在於，他們具備過去生累積的波羅蜜（pāramīs）、強烈的厭離感（saṃvega，明智的急迫感），並且能夠為了佛法而捨棄生命。

泰因谷尊者伍烏卡塔

尊者伍烏卡塔於一九一三年出生於毛比鎮（Maw-be town）的一個村莊，該村莊離仰光（Yangon）不遠，位於前往明加拉頓機場（Mingaladon Airport）的路上。他的父母為他取名為芒昂吞（Moung Aung Tun）。他年輕時對學習不感興趣，只受過非常基礎的教育。根據他自己的說法，他結過兩次婚，一位妻子住在他的村莊，另一位住在仰光。他將時間分配在這兩個地方。在農忙時節，他住在村莊；農耕結束後，他就與住在仰光的另一位妻子同住。他的人生曾是個酒鬼、賭徒、職業流氓和強盜，也曾因犯罪入獄服刑。

四十六歲那年，當他在仰光時，他與兩名同夥在夜間闖入一戶人家行竊。屋主似乎早已知曉他們的計畫，並持長刀等候。當他帶領同夥進入屋內時，遭到屋內的人襲擊。刀子砍中了他的頭部，他臀部著地摔倒在地。那人沒有再攻擊，他們便倉皇逃命。當時他戴著帽子，帽子救了他一命。這次危及生命的事件讓他產生了強烈的厭離感。傷勢痊癒後，他帶著妻子的書回到村莊，那本書是關於孫倫尊者（Soon Loon Sayadaw）的生平與修行。從那時起，他開始遵守九戒，並把自己關在村莊寺院的一個房間裡；然後，他依照書中的內容精進地禪修。

我們可以從以下他的一些佛法開示的翻譯中了解他的生平與修行，這裡收錄了四次開示。第一次開示沒有日期和地點，但似乎是在他位於毛比的泰因谷禪修中心。是一位在家弟子請求開示，時間長達三個多小時。內容提及了他從童年到修行直至證得阿羅漢的經歷。第二次開示是在一九六四年於仰光大學的法堂（University Dhammasāla），內容是關於從入流（stream enterer）到阿羅漢的修行。最後兩次開示是在一九六八年於苗尼貢法堂（Mye-nigon Dhammasāla）。第一次開示是關於如何修習成為入流者，另一次則是關於如何修習成為阿羅漢。

尊者的聲音清晰洪亮。有時他的開示像是在吟誦詩歌，流暢而連貫。他對經藏一無所知，至於他對佛法的一些詮釋是否符合經藏，則留給讀者自行判斷。尊者根據他自己的所見所聞和理解來闡述佛法。

Sayadaw U Candima (Sandima)

Sayadaw U Candima (Sandima) was born in 1952 at Ta-khun-dine Village, Ta-nat-pin town, Pe-gu district, north of Rangoon. He has two elder sisters before he was born. So, his mother desired a baby boy. One night during sleep, she had a strange dream. In the dream, the Buddha and some arahants came for alms-food to the house. After she gave the foods to the Buddha and waiting for the monk to open his bowl cover. Then the monk opened the bowl and took a baby from inside and gave it to her. She received it with her shoulder cloth and looked the baby. It was a boy, and it made her in joy. Then she woke up from the dream. At the young age, he was a genius and had a highly developed mind. At the age of five or six, every day at night he asked his mother to light a candle on the shrine for him. He would sit cross-legged in front of the Buddha statue for some time every day. He went to bed in this way.

Furthermore, he saw people around him suffered from ageing, sickness and death which made him sadness and fright. Likewise, he asked his mother how to overcome these human sufferings. At the age of 10 or 11, one day he went inside an empty clothes cupboard and laying down there. He imagined himself as a dead person and reflecting as one day I would also die in this way. He saw his body slowly becoming bloated and loathsome. A very strong putrid smell came out from the body and becoming unbearable for him. After he let go of his mind, and it became normal again.

He finished his high school, but we do not know he continued to his study or not. At the age of 23, his mother engaged a village girl for him. Then one day, his family members took him to Mingaladon (an area where Rangoon Airport exists) where a Thae Inn Gu branch monastery has offered a nine days retreat for temporary ordained monks. They did not tell him anything about it. Sayadaw did not make the reason behind this matter very clear. To me, that looks a lot like the Thai tradition; men are ordained as monks for a short period of time before they start their family life. But anyhow, after the nine days retreat, he continued his monk life for life. He practiced diligently over one year and entered the stream. It was quite remarkable because he knew nothing about the Dhamma on practice and did not have a qualified teacher to train him.

We can read about his life and practice in the following translation of his some Dhamma talks and some samādhi teachings he trained the yogis. After the practice, he kept quiet about it for 20 years without giving talks or teaching people. Now he has his own meditation center in Aung-Lan town, Pye District, north of Rangoon (in the British Colonial time known as Prome City).

These two biographies can be called audio—autobiographies. It is very rare to read someone's practice in such detail as this, from sotāpanna to arahant. U Candima talked about his practice even more details. Their lives and practices are inspiring for all Buddhists. The teachings of the Buddha and ancient Chinese sages not only changed some people to become great men and women in the past but also up to this present day. It is only if we take these teachings faithfully and seriously and put it into action. It will improve our lives and develop our mind. At the end, I will make an overview reflection on their lives and practices. Mogok Sayādawgyi’s Dhamma talks help me a lot to understand the Dhamma clearly and profoundly. I hope that these translations of the Dhamma will help Buddhist practitioners understand the essence of the Four Noble Truths and their practice.

Here I want to express my thank and gratitude to people who help and support me in this project—Nanda, A-Liang, Mun-A et al. Without them, it will not come into existence.

尊者優‧真帝馬（Sayadaw U Candima / Sandima）

尊者優‧真帝馬於1952年出生於仰光北方的卑謬省塔那彬鎮（Ta-nat-pin）下轄的塔昆丁村（Ta-khun-dine Village）。在他出生之前，已有兩位姊姊，因此母親非常渴望能得一子。

某晚夢中，她做了一個奇異的夢：夢見佛陀與幾位阿羅漢前來家中接受供養。當她將食物供奉給佛陀後，便等待其中一位比丘打開缽蓋。當比丘打開缽蓋後，竟從缽中抱出一名嬰兒，並遞給她。她以肩上的披巾接過那嬰兒一看，是個男孩，令她欣喜萬分，隨即從夢中醒來。

真帝馬尊者自幼即天資聰穎，心智能力發展得非常成熟。在他五、六歲時，每晚都會請母親在佛壇上點燃蠟燭。他每天都會盤腿坐在佛像前一段時間，然後才去睡覺。

此外，他見到周遭人們遭受老、病、死之苦，心中感到哀傷與恐懼，便詢問母親：人為何會遭此苦患？又當如何解脫？在十歲或十一歲時，有一天他走進一個空的衣櫥中，躺臥其中，想像自己已經死去，並觀想有一天自己也會這樣死亡。他觀見自己的身體逐漸腐爛、腫脹、變得可憎，甚至發出強烈惡臭，使他幾乎難以忍受。直到他放下念頭，心才慢慢恢復正常。

他完成了中學學業，但之後是否繼續升學則不得而知。23歲時，母親替他與村中一位女子訂了婚。後來某天，家人帶他前往明加拉頓地區（即仰光機場所在之地），該地有一間塔因古分支道場，正舉辦為期九天的短期出家禪修營。他的家人並未告知他任何詳細內容。尊者本人對此事的原委並未說明清楚。但依我看來，這頗像泰國的傳統風俗——男子在建立家庭之前，會短期出家修行。然而，不論原由為何，在那次九天的短期禪修結束後，他便選擇繼續過出家生活，終身為僧。他努力修行了一年多，即證得入流果（sotāpanna），這是極為難得的成就，尤其是在他幾乎對佛法一無所知，也無合格導師指導的情況下。

關於他的生平與修行，我們可從後續所附的幾篇法談譯文與部分他教授禪修者的定學教導中獲得了解。值得一提的是，在證果之後，他保持沉默長達二十年，未對人說法或教導他人。如今，他在仰光北方卑謬省的翁蘭鎮（Aung-Lan）擁有自己的禪修中心。該地在英殖民時期稱為「卑謬城（Prome City）」。

這兩篇傳記可謂是「語音自傳」。在現今世間，能讀到有人將從入流果到阿羅漢的修行歷程記錄得如此詳盡，實屬罕見。真帝馬尊者對其修行歷程的描述更是鉅細靡遺。他們的人生與修行歷程，對所有佛教徒而言，皆是極具啟發與鼓舞的典範。

佛陀與古代中國聖賢的教誨，不僅曾經塑造出過去偉大的男女行者，也依然持續在當代發揮力量。然而，這只有在我們真誠信受並實踐時，它們才會轉化我們的生命，提升我們的心智。

最後，我將對這兩位尊者的生命與修行做一綜合省思。莫哥尊者（Mogok Sayādawgyi）的法語在我理解佛法時幫助甚大，使我能更清晰與深入地體會佛陀教法。我亦希望這些法談譯文，能幫助佛法修行者理解四聖諦的核心義理與實踐方向。

在此，我謹向所有協助與支持我完成此計畫的人表達由衷的感謝與敬意——Nanda、A-Liang、Mun-A 等人。若無他們的協助，本書將無法問世。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

尊者伍坎迪瑪（桑迪瑪）

尊者伍坎迪瑪（Sayadaw U Candima，又稱桑迪瑪）於一九五二年出生於仰光北部卑謬區（Pe-gu district）達那彬鎮（Ta-nat-pin town）的達坤丁村（Ta-khun-dine Village）。在他出生前，家裡已有兩個姊姊，因此他的母親渴望能生個男孩。某夜，她在睡夢中做了一個奇特的夢。夢中，佛陀和一些阿羅漢前來她家托缽。她供養食物給佛陀後，便等待著僧人打開缽蓋。接著，那位僧人打開缽，從裡面取出一個嬰兒，並交給了她。她用肩上的布接過嬰兒，仔細一看，是個男孩，這讓她非常喜悅。然後她就從夢中醒來了。他從小就天資聰穎，心智發展極佳。五、六歲時，他每天晚上都會要求母親在佛龕上為他點燃蠟燭。他每天都會在佛像前盤腿坐上一段時間，然後才去睡覺。

此外，他看到周遭的人們飽受衰老、疾病和死亡之苦，這讓他感到悲傷和恐懼。同樣地，他也曾問母親如何才能克服這些人生的苦難。十歲或十一歲時，有一天，他走進一個空衣櫥，躺在裡面。他想像自己是個死人，並反思自己有一天也會這樣死去。他看到自己的身體慢慢腫脹、腐爛，散發出令人作嘔的氣味，讓他難以忍受。放下這些念頭後，他的心才恢復平靜。

他完成了高中學業，但我們不清楚他是否繼續升學。二十三歲時，他的母親為他訂了一門親事，對象是村裡的一位女孩。有一天，他的家人帶他去了明加拉頓（仰光機場所在地），那裡有一個泰因谷的分支寺院，為短期出家的僧侶提供九天的閉關。他們事先沒有告訴他任何相關事宜。尊者本人也沒有很清楚地說明這件事背後的緣由。在我看來，這很像泰國的傳統；男子在成家立業之前會短期出家一段時間。但無論如何，在九天的閉關結束後，他選擇終身為僧。他精進修行了一年多，便證得了入流果。這相當了不起，因為他對佛法的修行一無所知，也沒有合格的老師指導他。

我們可以從以下他的一些佛法開示以及他指導瑜伽行者的禪定教導的翻譯中了解他的生平與修行。修行之後，他保持沉默了二十年，沒有說法或教導他人。現在，他在仰光北部卑謬區的翁蘭鎮（Aung-Lan town，英國殖民時期稱為勃固城Prome City）擁有自己的禪修中心。

這兩篇傳記可以稱之為有聲自傳。如此詳盡地記錄一個人從入流到阿羅漢的修行過程，實屬罕見。伍坎迪瑪尊者甚至更詳細地談到了他的修行。他們兩位的人生與修行都啟發了所有佛教徒。佛陀的教導和古代中國聖賢的智慧，不僅在過去改變了一些人，使他們成為偉人，直至今日依然如此。只有當我們真誠而認真地接受這些教導，並付諸實踐，才能改善我們的生活，發展我們的心智。最後，我將對他們兩位的人生與修行做一個總體的反思。莫哥尊者（Mogok Sayādawgyi）的佛法開示對我清晰而深刻地理解佛法有很大的幫助。我希望這些佛法的翻譯能幫助佛教修行者理解四聖諦的精髓及其修行。

在此，我要向在這項計畫中幫助和支持我的人們——南達（Nanda）、阿良（A-Liang）、慕安（Mun-A）等人表達我的感謝和感激。沒有他們，這本書就不會誕生。

A Noble Search

Sayadaw U Candima (Sandima)

(1952-)

Sayadaw U Candima (Sandima)

Sayadaw U Candima (Sandima)

I entered the Buddhist order near the end of 1975. I did the practice for over a year, and attained the path of stream entry. Only after 20 years the head monk of Suddhamma Sect Sayadaw, and Thom-pho Sayadaw were questioned on my practice. This happened at Nyaung-don Pariyatti Vihāra during the monk ordination ceremony.

(There are two major Buddhist sects in Burma—the oldest, and largest is the Suddhamma sect, followed by the Shwe-kyin, and other smaller sects.)

I started my Dhamma teaching from there. At that place I gave only one talk there. The 2^nd time was at Tonn-tay, Kyauk-pa-daung Pariyatti Vihāra. There I taught the monks and nuns (Burmese as sīla—shin, Thai as mei-chee) for 14 days. Actually it was a ten days retreat, but it took 14 days.

I gave them the teaching because they had the duty to spread the Dhamma. This is the 3^rd time here. It's just that after more than 20 years, I've only taught three retreats. The reason I am waiting for so long is I was afraid of people thinking about me as showing my own prestige. Therefore, I was not teaching for a long time. Another reason is I was afraid of having the wrong attention with it.

I know that at this place Paung-ta-le Town the teaching will be developed here. U Zin doesn’t know about the pariyat (learning from texts). As a young man at the age of 24 I did the practice, and learned the path, and fruit of stream entry, which I’ll share with you for your benefit.

Teaching vipassanā is like selling goods. What is the value of such goods? The customer should ask; “How is its usefulness?”

The seller also can give guarantee for the goods. In this way, the seller, and buyer will do well. What it was made of, and how long it will last for use, all these have to be guaranteed. Among the three sāsana (i.e., study, practice, and result) the study of texts (pariyat, pariyatti) is recording the omniscience knowledge (sabbaññutā ñāṇa) of the Buddha in texts. We have to practice them, and only that we have the chance to experience it by oneself. Therefore, patipat (paṭipatti) is the sāsana of practice. The yogi with one's own knowledge analytically penetrates the conditioned dhamma of mind and body, and its reality.

With this, he understands the truths of dukkha, its cause, the ending of dukkha, and the way to ending dukkha (i.e., dukkha, samudaya, nirodha, and magga saccas). This is the attainment of path, and fruit, and Nibbāna which is the result of paṭipatti. Only this kind of person can spread the paṭipatti sāsana. In pariyat sāsana also has its levels, and someone who has the graduate certificate can spread the sāsana. For the teaching practice, someone has to penetrate it by himself, and liberate from dukkha.

Only this person can help the lay followers to liberate themselves from dukkha, and to Nibbāna. I myself don’t know anything about pariyat, but practice hard to arrive at the path, and fruit of stream entry which I offer you for the benefit. How can I have the perfection (pāramī) to practice it successfully? It’s impossible without perfection, and must have pāramī. I’ll talk about my pāramī in gist.

My birthplace is Ta-goon-dine village, Ta-nut-pin town, Pegu district. (i.e., north of Rangoon, and not very far from it). Before I was born, I had two older sisters above me. After my sisters were born, my mother had a strong desire to have a son. After the pregnancy, one night my mother had a dream. From the sky the Buddha, and arahants were coming for alms-foods, and mother went outside to offer foods. After giving foods to the Buddha, she was ready for the first arahant. The arahant opened the bowl lid, and took out a baby inside the bowl, and gave it to her. Mother received it with the shawl from her shoulder, and looking at the child, it was a baby boy. It made her joyful, and then she woke up from sleep. From then onwards until she passed away at the age of 68 she could not eat any smelly meat, and fish. I know about them because my mother told me.

When I was sensible at the age of five or six, I asked my parents to light candles in the shrine room every night, and I was sitting cross-legged in front of the Buddha statue. It gave me satisfaction by doing it. My parents stayed behind my back, and used the tip of the broom touching my ears, and shoulders—to make me itch by teasing me. I was happy with it by sitting like this every night, and not because I knew something about it. (His near past life of habit as a practicing monk carried to this life. Therefore, our everyday actions are very important not only in the present, but also for the future to come.)

Only after doing the sitting did I go to bed. At the age of six or seven, in the village, some villagers were sick, and I heard their crying and groaning. When people were separated from each other (lost loved ones), and hearing their sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair which made me depressed.

Sometimes I saw people looking after the sick person (also the loved one) with low spirits and small faces, which also made me depressed. When I saw all these human sufferings, and asked my mother, “Mother! Are people very often sick and crying, and groaning like this? Would it happen to us like this later? Mother answered me; “My son, being born a human being, must encounter it.” “Can't we get rid of it?” “No! We can’t” I became to be afraid and got goose bumps. I thought—“One day I will have to suffer with dukkha vedanā like this in crying and groaning.” And then sorrow was arising in me.

Even though I was only a child, seeing these things made me unhappy. I was also unhappy by seeing people became sick, and inviting doctors to see the patients, and looked after them. Later someone died, and I went to see it. Near the corpse, family members were crying, heartbreaking, and some were in shock and in a coma. Seeing them, I was unhappy. After back home I asked my mother; “Mother, who is dead now. Do we also die like this?” Mother answered me; “If you become human, you have to die like this.” “Mother! Is anyone free from it.” Mother said; “No one. One day I have to die, and you also have to die.” When I heard them I was afraid, and there was no happiness in me. I became unhappy by thinking about old age, sickness, and death.

[This was a very rare thing that happens between a child, and a parent on questions, and answers of life, and death. We can see that Sayadaw's maturity of mind as a child comes from his past practice. His mother's patience in answering questions about life, and death was also very good. Most parents can stop their young children asking these kinds of questions. According to Sayadaw his mother passed away at the age of 68, and took rebirth as a snake, but he did not say more than that.

At the age of 25 he entered the stream entry, so he had a lot of time to help his parents with Dhamma. His father was lucky, he practiced, and reached certain level, but at dying his mind was inclining toward Sayadaw at the moment of death, and took rebirth as a tree spirit (rukkha-devatā)]

I was thinking about the issues of where there was no ageing, sickness, and death. So I went to ask my mother; “Mother! Please tell me if there is a place where no ageing, sickness and death.” Mother said: “We don’t have this kind of place under here, but it exists on the moon” Mother was making a joke to me. So every night when the moon came out, I went outside, and looked at it. And then with the mind pulled it toward me, and when it arrived near tried to climb on the moon, but it moved away from me. Day by day I was afraid of ageing, sickness, and death, thinking about how to climb on the moon.

高尚的探尋

桑帝瑪禪師（Sayadaw U Candima / Sandima） （1952－）

我是在1975年底左右出家為比丘的。修行了一年多之後，我證得了入流道果（初果）。直到二十年後，蘇達摩教派（Suddhamma）和湯坡禪師（Thom-pho Sayadaw）才對我的修行情況進行詢問。那是在娘敦巴利亞帝佛學院（Nyaung-don Pariyatti Vihāra）的一次出家典禮上發生的事。
（在緬甸有兩個主要的佛教教派——最古老且最大的教派是蘇達摩教派，其次是瑞金教派（Shwe-kyin），以及其他較小的教派。）

我從那裡開始教授佛法。在那個地點，我只開示過一次；第二次是在吞德鎮的皎巴東佛學院（Tonn-tay, Kyauk-pa-daung Pariyatti Vihāra），我在那裡為比丘與比丘尼（緬語稱「戒僧 sīla-shin」，泰語為「媚姬 mei-chee」）教授十四天。雖然原本是一個為期十天的禪修營，但實際上持續了十四天。
我之所以為他們開示，是因為他們肩負弘揚佛法的責任。這是我第三次教授佛法。事實上，超過二十年來，我只帶過三次禪修營。之所以等待這麼久，是因為我擔心他人會認為我在炫耀自己的威望，因此長時間未曾教學；另一個原因是，我擔心這樣做會讓我產生錯誤的動機與關注。

我知道，在這個邦達雷鎮（Paung-ta-le）的地區，佛法的教導將會發展起來。U Zin 並不熟悉巴利經典的學習（pariyat）。而我，在24歲時就進行了修行，並親身體證了入流的道與果，如今我願與各位分享這份經驗，為的是令你們受益。

教授內觀就像販售商品一樣。那麼這樣的商品價值何在？顧客應當詢問：「這東西有什麼用？」
賣方也可以為其品質作保。在這種情況下，買賣雙方都會獲益良多。產品的材料、耐用程度等等，皆應提供保證。
在佛教的三支佛法中（即學習、修行、證悟），經典的學習（pariyat 或 pariyatti）是將佛陀的無上智慧（sabbaññutā ñāṇa）記錄於文字之中。我們必須依此修行，才有機會親身體證。因此，「修道」（patipat 或 paṭipatti）即是佛法的實踐支分。

修行者藉由自身的智慧，分析並洞察名與色（身心）所緣起的條件性法與其真實本質。
藉此，他便能理解四聖諦：苦、集、滅、道（dukkha, samudaya, nirodha, magga）。這正是道與果的證得，以及涅槃的體驗，乃是修道（paṭipatti）的成果。唯有如此親證者，方能弘揚實踐之法教。

在經典教學的領域（pariyat sāsana）也有其層次，獲得正式證書的人可以弘揚法教。而修行的教導，則必須由親身實證、從苦中解脫之人傳授。
唯有這樣的人，才能協助在家信眾從苦中解脫，導向涅槃。我自己對巴利經藏並無所知，但我努力實修，直至證得入流的道與果，如今我將此奉獻出來，為的是讓你們受益。

那麼我如何具備完成此修行的波羅蜜（pāramī）呢？若無波羅蜜，這是不可能的，必須具備波羅蜜。以下我將簡略說明我所具備的波羅蜜因緣。

我的出生地是勃固省（Pegu）塔努賓鎮的塔貢丁村（Ta-goon-dine），位於仰光以北、不甚遙遠之處。
在我出生之前，家中已有兩位姊姊。當她們出生後，我的母親便生起了強烈的願望，希望能得一男孩。在懷孕期間某一夜，母親作了一個夢：夢見佛陀與諸位阿羅漢從天而降，來接受供養。母親走出屋外供養飲食。在供養完佛陀後，她準備供養第一位阿羅漢。這位阿羅漢打開缽蓋，從缽中取出一名嬰孩，交給她。母親用肩上的披巾接住嬰兒，低頭一看，是個男孩，使她無比歡喜，旋即醒來。從那以後直到她六十八歲去世，她再也無法食用任何帶有腥臭氣味的肉類與魚類。我之所以知道這些，是因為母親曾告訴我。

當我大約五、六歲開始懂事時，我每晚都請父母點燃佛堂的蠟燭，然後自己盤腿坐在佛像前，這樣做讓我感到滿足。父母在我身後，常用掃帚尖逗我——掃我耳朵與肩膀讓我發癢、搔癢我。我每晚都這樣靜坐，而並非因為理解什麼道理而這樣做。（這是他前世比丘修行習氣帶入此生的表現，因此日常行為不僅對現在，也對未來有深遠影響。）

我總是在靜坐後才上床睡覺。約在六、七歲時，村裡有些人得病，我聽見他們的呻吟與哭泣。當有人死別親人，耳聞他們的哀哭、痛苦與絕望，也使我感到憂鬱。
有時看到照顧病人的人——尤其是摯愛的親人——神情沮喪、面容憔悴，也讓我心情低落。當我看到這些人世間的苦難時，便問母親：「媽媽！人是不是常常都這麼生病、哭泣、呻吟的？我們將來也會這樣嗎？」母親回答：「我的孩子，作為人，就一定會遇到這些。」
我再問：「那我們不能擺脫這些嗎？」她說：「不能，無法擺脫。」我聽了起了雞皮疙瘩，也開始感到恐懼。我想著：「有一天，我也會這樣受苦、哭泣、呻吟。」悲傷由此生起。

儘管那時我只是個小孩，看到這些事情總讓我感到難過。我看到人們生病、請醫生診治、照料病患，也會因此感到不快。後來有人過世，我也去觀看。靠近屍體時，家人哭得肝腸寸斷，有些人甚至昏迷或休克。看見這一幕，我感到非常不安。回家後我問母親：「媽媽，剛剛那個人死了。我們將來也會這樣死去嗎？」母親說：「只要是人，就一定會這樣死去。」
我再問：「有沒有人不會死？」母親說：「沒有。一日我也會死，你也會死。」
我聽了之後，充滿了恐懼，內心完全無法快樂。我對老、病、死產生了深深的不安。

【這是一段極其罕見的母子對話，關於生與死的提問與回應。我們可以看出，禪師童年時的心智成熟來自過去世的修行；而他母親對生命與死亡問題的耐心回答也非常難能可貴。大多數父母都會制止年幼的孩子提出這類問題。
根據禪師的說法，他的母親於六十八歲時往生，轉生為一條蛇，但他並未多加詳述。禪師在25歲時證得入流，因此有許多時間能以法助其父母。他的父親較有福報，雖未證得道果，但臨終之心傾向禪師，故而轉生為一位樹神（rukkha-devatā）。】

我常思索：是否有一個沒有老、病、死的地方？於是我問母親：「媽媽！請告訴我，有沒有一個地方是沒有老病死的？」母親笑說：「我們這地面上沒有這種地方，但月亮上有喔！」——她是在開我玩笑。於是每當夜晚月亮升起時，我便跑出屋外仰望它，心中努力將它吸引過來，當它似乎靠近時，我便嘗試要爬上去，但月亮又遠離了我。就這樣，日復一日，我對老病死心生恐懼，並思索著：究竟要怎麼樣才能登上那輪月亮……

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

崇高的尋覓

尊者 鄔 坎帝瑪 (桑帝瑪) (1952-)

我於一九七五年末期進入佛教僧團。我精進修行超過一年，並證得入流果位。然而，直到二十年後，我的修行才受到雪達瑪教派（Suddhamma Sect）的住持長老以及通波長老（Thom-pho Sayadaw）的詢問。此事發生於娘敦巴利亞提寺院（Nyaung-don Pariyatti Vihāra）的僧伽受戒儀式期間。 （在緬甸有兩個主要的佛教宗派——歷史最悠久且規模最大的為雪達瑪教派，其次是雪金教派（Shwe-kyin）和其他較小的宗派。）

我從那裡開始了我的佛法教導。在那裡我只做過一次開示。第二次是在東岱鎮（Tonn-tay）的皎巴當巴利亞提寺院（Kyauk-pa-daung Pariyatti Vihāra）。在那裡，我向比丘和比丘尼（緬甸語稱 sīla-shin，泰語稱 mei-chee）講授佛法十四天。實際上那是一個為期十天的禪修營，但總共持續了十四天。

我向他們傳授佛法，是因為他們肩負著弘揚佛法的責任。這是第三次在這裡。只是在二十多年後，我只主持過三次禪修營。我等待這麼長時間的原因是，我害怕人們認為我是在炫耀自己的聲望。因此，我很長一段時間沒有教導。另一個原因是，我害怕因此而獲得不恰當的關注。

我知道在榜達列鎮（Paung-ta-le Town）這個地方，佛法將會得到發展。鄔津（U Zin）對巴利亞提（pariyat，經文學習）一無所知。我年輕時，二十四歲就開始修行，並學習了入流道的道與果，我將為了你們的利益而分享這些。

教授內觀就像販售商品。這樣的商品的價值是什麼呢？顧客應該問：「它的用處是什麼？」

賣家也可以為商品提供保證。這樣，賣家和買家都會受益。商品的材質、使用壽命等都必須得到保證。在三種ศาสนา（sāsana，即教理、實踐和證果）中，經文的研習（巴利語：pariyat, pariyatti）是將佛陀的遍知智慧（sabbaññutā ñāṇa）記錄在經文中。我們必須實踐這些教導，只有這樣我們才有機會親身體驗。因此，實踐（巴利語：paṭipat, paṭipatti）是實踐的ศาสนา。瑜伽行者以自身的智慧分析地透徹理解身心的有為法及其真實性。

藉由這些理解，他領悟了苦諦、苦集諦、苦滅諦和苦滅道諦（即苦、集、滅、道四聖諦）。這是證得道、果以及涅槃，涅槃是實踐（paṭipatti）的結果。只有這樣的人才能弘揚實踐的ศาสนา。在教理的ศาสนา中也有不同的層次，擁有畢業證書的人可以弘揚教理。至於教學實踐，一個人必須親自證悟並從苦中解脫。

只有這樣的人才能幫助在家信徒從苦中解脫，並引導他們走向涅槃。我本人對教理一無所知，但我努力修行以達到入流道的道與果，我將此奉獻給你們，以利益你們。我如何才能具備成功修行的波羅蜜（pāramī）呢？沒有波羅蜜是不可能的，必須具備波羅蜜。我將簡要地談談我的波羅蜜。

我的出生地是卑固省（Pegu District）丹努彬鎮（Ta-nut-pin Town）的達貢丁村（Ta-goon-dine village）（即仰光以北，離仰光不遠）。在我出生之前，我有兩個姐姐。在我的姐姐們出生後，我的母親非常渴望生一個兒子。懷孕後的一天晚上，我的母親做了一個夢。夢中，佛陀和阿羅漢們從天而降來托缽，母親走到外面供養食物。供養完佛陀後，她準備供養第一位阿羅漢。那位阿羅漢打開缽蓋，從缽中取出一個嬰兒，並將其交給她。母親用肩上的披巾接過嬰兒，看著孩子，是一個男嬰。這讓她非常喜悅，然後她從睡夢中醒來。從那時起，直到她六十八歲去世，她都無法食用任何有腥味的肉和魚。這些都是我母親告訴我的，所以我知道。

在我五六歲懂事的時候，我要求我的父母每天晚上在佛堂點蠟燭，而我則在佛像前盤腿而坐。這樣做讓我感到滿足。我的父母站在我的身後，用掃帚的尖端輕觸我的耳朵和肩膀——故意搔癢我。我每天晚上都這樣坐著，感到很開心，並不是因為我知道些什麼。（他過去世作為修行僧侶的習氣帶到了今生。因此，我們日常的行為不僅對現在很重要，對未來也很重要。）

只有在打坐之後我才會去睡覺。六七歲的時候，在村子裡，一些村民生病了，我聽到他們的哭泣和呻吟。當人們彼此分離（失去親人），聽到他們的悲傷、哀號、痛苦、憂愁和絕望時，這讓我感到沮喪。

有時我看到人們精神萎靡、面容憔悴地照顧病人（也是他們所愛的人），這也讓我感到沮喪。當我看到所有這些人類的苦難時，我問我的母親：「母親！人們是不是經常這樣生病、哭泣和呻吟？我們以後也會這樣嗎？」母親回答我：「我的孩子，身為人，必然會遇到這些。」「我們不能擺脫這些嗎？」「不能！我們不能。」我開始害怕，起了雞皮疙瘩。我想——「總有一天我也會像這樣哭泣和呻吟，遭受苦痛的感受（dukkha vedanā）。」然後悲傷在我心中升起。

即使我還只是個孩子，看到這些事情也讓我感到不快樂。看到人們生病，請醫生來看病，並照顧他們，我也感到不快樂。後來有人去世了，我去看望。在屍體旁，家人們哭天喊地，有些人則震驚昏迷。看到他們，我感到不快樂。回家後我問母親：「母親，剛去世的是誰？我們也會這樣死去嗎？」母親回答我：「如果你成為人，你就必須這樣死去。」「母親！有沒有人能免於此？」母親說：「沒有人。總有一天我必須死，你也是。」聽到這些話，我感到害怕，心中沒有一絲快樂。想到衰老、疾病和死亡，我感到不快樂。

[這是一個孩子和父母之間關於生與死的問題和答案中非常罕見的事情。我們可以從中看到，尊者童年時的成熟心智來自於他過去的修行。他的母親在回答關於生與死的問題時的耐心也非常好。大多數父母可能會阻止他們年幼的孩子問這些問題。根據尊者的說法，他的母親在六十八歲時去世，並轉世為一條蛇，但他沒有再多說。

他在二十五歲時證得了入流果，所以他有很多時間可以用佛法幫助他的父母。他的父親很幸運，他修行並達到了一定的層次，但在臨終時，他的心念傾向於尊者，並轉世為樹神（rukkha-devatā）]

我一直在思考沒有衰老、疾病和死亡的地方在哪裡。於是我去問我的母親：「母親！請告訴我是否有一個沒有衰老、疾病和死亡的地方。」母親說：「我們這裡沒有這種地方，但在月亮上有。」母親是在跟我開玩笑。所以每天晚上月亮出來的時候，我就會走到外面看著它。然後用意念將它拉向我，當它靠近時，我試圖爬上去，但它卻離我越來越遠。日復一日，我害怕衰老、疾病和死亡，一直在想著如何爬上月亮。

What happened to me later was when I was 10 or 11 years old. Inside our sleeping room there was a big clothes cupboard. I went inside and lay down there like a dead person, and contemplated as—one day I have to die like this. The stomach became rising up, bloated, and loathsome. The flesh became brown to black, later bloated, and putrid. My thighs and legs became bloated and a putrid smell came out. The putrid smell was so terrible that I couldn’t bear it anymore, and had to release my mind on it. And then it became normal again. Before it became a corpse bloated, putrid, and smelly, and now it became normal again. What did it mean? I would try it again, and I did myself like a dead person, and contemplated it.

When I concentrated on the stomach, and it was swollen, my chest expanded, legs, and hands were becoming swollen, and expanded. Not before long, it became putrid, and smelly. I couldn’t bear its smell, and relaxed my meditation. I was thinking that one day I would die like this. After death, it would become bloated, putrid, and fallen apart, and the body became useless. I was only thinking about these things, and unhappy with it.

[ At a very young age he was contemplating death, which led to loathsomeness of the body. This incident made me remember one of Ajahn Chah’s disciples, Ajahn T’s experience as a lay man. As a young man, Khun T (Khun similar to Mr.) graduated from business school, and he wanted to continue his further study in the U.S. or give up the further study, and had a family life. So he continued to think about some young women (friends) for his spouse, one by one. All of them were becoming skeletons. At last, he gave up his plan of further study, and had a family life. Later ordained by Ajahn Chah, and became a well known forest monk.

Lust—sexual desire is very strong in humans, and a difficult human problem which relates to all. The majority of monks (Westerners or Asians) who have disrobed were mostly associated with this. ??) The four things that make a monk not shine are: woman (lust), money, alcohol (all sorts of drugs) and wrong livelihood.

I think these also can be related to the lay community. In today modern world we can see lust—sexual desire is a lot worse than before—such as homosexuality, child pornography, man prostitution (never heard before), a lot of abortion around the globe (in this case we humans of today are inferior to animals), the scriptures also mention some wrong sexual practices—such as illicit lust between family members (adhamma raga), etc. Nowadays, there are a lot of human problems connected with lust. Solving these issues are also wrong, sometimes instead of solving the problems even promoting them by laws, and media. What’s a mess? ]

Sometimes in the village there were merit makings (such as Buddhist festivals offering foods, and requisites to saṅgha, etc.), and we invited others from other villages, relatives, and friends. Everyone came with their bullock carts, and we met friends, and relatives together, and were all happy with it. We established temporary pavilions, and preparations for these occasions. After finishing all these merit offerings, all relatives, and friends were leaving, and leaving us behind with separation, and sadness. We all took down all the temporary pavilions, and preparations which I saw made us unhappy—again. Living in the human world was no pleasure, and pleasantness, and no stability at all. Behind all these pleasures, and pleasantness were existing with displeasure, and unpleasantness. People have pāramīs—perfections like thorns which start coming out also pointed. Gladness follows with sadness is a natural phenomenon. If it’s like this, there is no pleasure at all.

Therefore, I wanted to climb on the moon. So I asked my mother; “Mother! I am trying to climb on the moon, but I can’t do it. Is there any other place which frees you from aging, sickness, and death?” Mother said; “There is none, and also can't be on the moon. I was making a joke of you, if you’re on the moon also you can’t free yourself from ageing, sickness, and death. This body is with you.” “Does the Buddha also age, get sick, and die?” “The Buddha would age, become sick, and die only this time, and it would not happen again.” “If this is possible, then I’ll practice his way.” How did the Buddha practice?” And then mother taught me how to use the rosary with reciting of anicca, dukkha, and anatta. “You’ll age, sick, and die for this time only, and never again”

And then I began counting the rosary. At night without doing it I would never sleep. Also father taught me how to use the rosary—such as the qualities of the Buddha (there are nine qualities or attributes of the Buddha, and a very common practice in Burma, mostly for protection, and power.), the three universal characteristics (i.e., anicca, dukkha, and anatta), counting the rosary for the numbers of one’s age (e.g., if you are 50, then counting for 50 times of each one-round of rosary) etc. I was doing this practice every night, and observant days (i.e., four days a month) up to my high school year of 10^th standard (i.e., before the entrance of university). Whatever business I had on every uposatha (observant day) I never missed it. I was making the determination that I would practice according to the doctrine of the Buddha, and trying my best not to get this khandha (mind, and body). And then I arrived at the 10th level of high school.

[Here we can see the importance of habitual practice—samatha or vipassanā. Sayadaw’s past life (as a monk also) habitual practices carried on to this life, even at a young age as a small child or boy it never vanished.

There is a Burmese yogi U Kyaw Win who at the age of 28 started to practice samatha with rosary. When he was a little older, and close to retirement age he had the chance to Mandalay city with government duty, and arrived at a meditation center which taught the way of Kanni Sayadawgyi’s method (Kanni Sayadaw 1870-1956). He had the chance to sit two hours with ānāpānasati, and had a good samādhi. Shortly after retired he went two months with retreat at Maw-be (near Rangoon) Ratthapāla Meditation center in 2005 (This is Mye-zin Sayadaw’s center which taught the Kanni Method) He wrote his two months retreat experiences in an essay called Taste of Dhamma (Dhammarasa). It seems to me he was quite successful in the practice. This is the benefit of many years of habitual practice of samatha or vipassanā.

Another example is an Italian yogi named Eduardo, and according to him when he was in Italy everyday he practiced meditation for two hours with ānāpānasati. Later he went to Burma, and looked for a teacher to practice with. He met Ven. Ādiccaramsī (U Sun Lwin) who taught him Mogok Sayadaw’s system, and realized Dhamma. Later he wrote a letter to Ven. Ādiccaramsī said that he was teaching at St. Petersburg in Russia. This is also the outcome of habitual practice. Habitual practice is so important for dying near death. We can see this in Channovāda Sutta, Sutta No. 144, Majjhima. It can be also said as a wisdom perfection—paññā pāramī) for enlightenment.]

At the 9^th level of high school, I stayed at my aunt’s home in Saketa town. At the 10^th level, my great uncle who was a Buddhist monk said to me that at this level there were many books for study. So asking me not to stay at my aunt’s home, and came to stay at the monastery. Therefore, I moved to the monastery. In the rain season he taught laypeople on the process of dependent arising (paṭiccasamuppāda) with Mogok circular chart on D.A. So I asked him; “Ven. Sir, what is this circular chart for doing?” “I am using this circular chart for teaching people.” “Ven. Sir, do your Dhamma turn circular like this.” He knew that I did not understand it, and did not talk much about it.

“Round of existence (saṃsāra) is turning in this way. If I tell you about ignorance (avijjā), clinging (upādāna), and action (kamma) you’ll know nothing about them. He explained to me only that much (this happens in the morning). In the midday I came down the stairs, my great uncle asked lay people to sit in meditation, and taught them with ānāpānasati. I asked him what they were doing. He told me that it was practicing meditation. I said; “Does Dhamma have two kinds?” “In the morning you taught them with the circular chart, which is not Dhamma?” He said; “The morning Dhamma teaching was showing the round of existence. If you want to come out from the circular saṃsāra you have to sit meditation like this.” I wanted to free from saṃsāra, and asked him; “Ven. Sir, is this one of the ways of the Buddha?” “Yes, it’s.” I said to him; “It can’t be, and must be the counting of the rosary.”

“Did you see the Buddha holding a rosary?” During the school holidays of observant days my uncle (i.e., during his periods in Saketa) sent me with his car to Shwe-dagon ceti for my observance. (We can see the strong pāramī came from his past lives. For most of us young people, let alone practice like he did; they don't even remember most of the observant days. I cannot even remember schools, and government offices having holidays on Buddhist observant days—for full moon, and new moon. In the time of the Buddha, the Buddhists had it. In saṃsāra, it was extremely rare to meet and have this with the Buddha Dhamma in saṃsāra. Therefore, Buddhists should use this rare chance for the practice.)

I had never seen a Buddha statue holding a rosary. Then my great uncle continued; “These rosary practices were the practice of before the Buddha. The practice of Buddha, and arahants is like now we are doing the ānāpānasati. “Then I requested him; “Please give me instruction on this practice.” He gave me the instruction, and said; “At night you should try it.” “Every time the air going in, and going out will touch the entrance of the nostril, and you have to know them. If you continue to know it with mindfulness, the Dhamma will show you.”

At night, after my study, I did my usual rosary practice and then practiced ānāpāna meditation. After five or 10 minutes, my body seemed to be elevated—from the floor about seven inches. Ha! I have become arahant now. What I heard is that a real arahant could fly with jhanic power (It was like the Susima wanderer of the time of the Buddha, and some Buddhists). And then I could go wherever I wanted. So, with joy I continued with the practice. It seemed to me it was rising up more in the air. It was true or not I wanted to know it. So I opened my eyes, looking at it, and seeing my buttocks were still on the mattress. Whatever it was I continued, and it seemed moving one-armed length, when I was opening my eyes again it stuck with the mattress again.

後來發生在我身上的一件事，是在我約莫十歲或十一歲的時候。當時我們家的臥室裡有一個大型衣櫃，我進入其中，躺下來，模仿死人的姿態，觀想道：「總有一天，我也將如此死去。」

我如實觀察著這具身體：腹部鼓脹隆起，變得令人厭惡；肌膚的顏色由棕轉黑，接著全身浮腫腐爛。我觀見自己雙腿與大腿也腫脹起來，並散發出令人難以忍受的惡臭。臭氣撲鼻，令我幾乎無法再持續觀想，只能放下心念。但就在我放下之後，那身體的影像竟又回復正常。先前所見的浮腫、腐敗、惡臭屍體，如今又變成了平常的樣子。我不禁思索：「這到底是怎麼回事？」

於是我再次模仿死者的模樣，重新進行觀想。我將專注放在腹部，觀察其腫脹的狀態，接著胸部擴張、四肢漸次膨脹。沒過多久，整個身體開始腐壞，散發濃烈的臭味。惡臭逼人，我實在難以忍受，只好放下觀修。

在觀修的過程中，我生起一個念頭：「有一天，我的身體也必將如此，死後浮腫、腐敗、崩解，成為無用之物。」這種真實的思惟使我內心生起沉重與不安。

【這位年幼的修行者，在極年輕時就開始觀想死亡、觀察身體的變壞過程——這正是佛教中所稱的「不淨觀」（asubha-bhāvanā）。此觀法為佛陀於《阿含經》與《毘婆沙論》中所開示的對治貪愛之法，目的在於看清身體的真實相——從皮膚包裹下的種種不淨，直至死亡後的崩壞變化，從而熄滅對色身的執著與欲貪。

這使我想起阿姜查尊者（Ajahn Chah）的一位弟子——阿姜T（Ajahn T）在尚未出家為僧之前的經歷。當時他是一位年輕的在家人，畢業於商學院，正在考慮要赴美留學或是結婚成家。他開始觀想身邊可能成為伴侶的女性朋友，一個接一個觀想下去，每一位女性在他心中最後都變成了白骨。他於是放棄了出國與婚姻的打算，後來在阿姜查座下出家，成為一位知名的森林僧。

欲望，尤其是性欲，是人類最強烈、最難降伏的煩惱之一。它不只困擾在家人，也令許多僧人還俗。西方或亞洲的出家人之中，還俗者大多與色欲有關。《法句經》亦說：「縛人以欲，堅如鐵索，智者斷之，捨離諸樂。」 對出家人而言，使修行失去光澤的四件事即是：**色欲（女色）、財富、飲酒（及毒品）、邪命（不正當生活）。這四種，亦是導致墮落之因。】

我認為這些問題不僅出現在僧團之中，對在家居士同樣適用。尤其在今日的現代社會，色欲氾濫的程度已遠超以往。例如同性戀、兒童色情、男妓現象（過去少有聽聞）、全球廣泛墮胎等，甚至連經典所嚴斥的「非法欲」（adhamma rāga）如亂倫等，也成為現實中存在的行為。而現代社會對這些問題，不但沒有正確處理，反而藉由法律與媒體加以合理化與宣傳，令人深感痛心與混亂。

有時候，村裡會舉辦功德活動（如佛教節日、供僧、供養四事等），我們會邀請來自其他村莊的親戚朋友前來共襄盛舉。大家乘坐牛車而來，歡喜地相聚，親朋好友共聚一堂。我們搭建臨時棚亭，準備各項活動與供養。但當這些功德活動結束後，親戚朋友們紛紛離開，只留下我們在離別中感到落寞與憂傷。我們一起拆除那些臨時搭建的棚亭與準備物，看著曾經的歡樂場面歸於無常，使人心中不免生起失落之感。

我開始思惟：活在人間，究竟有何真樂？世間的歡樂與穩定，實際上只是短暫虛幻之相。每一份看似快樂與愉悅的背後，都潛藏著失落與痛苦。人們的波羅蜜（pāramī）就像荊棘一樣，會在某些時刻刺人。歡喜過後接著是哀傷，這是一種自然的因緣法則。若人生如是，那就沒有真正的快樂可言。

因此，我又想起月亮。我對母親說：「媽媽，我努力想爬上月亮，但無論如何都爬不上去。那麼，是否有其他地方可以讓人擺脫老病死？」母親回答說：「沒有這種地方，就連月亮也不行。我只是和你開個玩笑。即使你到了月亮，那具色身仍然跟著你，依然會老、會病、會死。」
我接著問：「那佛陀也會老、病、死嗎？」母親說：「佛陀這一世會老、會病、會死，但這是最後一次，從此以後便不再有生死輪迴。」
我說：「若是如此，那我也要修學佛陀的道路。」我問：「佛陀是怎麼修行的呢？」

於是，母親教我使用念珠，持誦「無常、苦、無我」（anicca, dukkha, anatta）。她說：「你這一世會老、會病、會死，但這是最後一次，未來將不再有。」

從那時起，我開始持念珠計數，夜裡不持誦便無法入睡。父親也教我如何使用念珠，例如誦念佛陀的九種功德（這在緬甸是極為普遍的修法，通常為了護身與增益福力）、三法印（無常、苦、無我），以及依年齡誦念（例如五十歲者，每晚持誦五十圈）。我每日修習這些法門，並在每月四次的布薩日（uposatha）亦持續修持，一直到我升上第十年級（相當於大學前的最後一學年）。

不論當日有任何事務，只要是布薩日，我從不錯過。那時我便立下決心：「我必須依佛陀所說的法修行，盡我所能，不再受生此五蘊之身（khandha，即色、受、想、行、識）。」後來，我進入了第十年級。

【從這段經歷可以清楚看出慣行修習（不論是止禪或觀禪）的重要性。尊者前生亦為出家行者，其過去修習的慣性延續至今世，即使仍是孩童，也未曾間斷修行。

例如，緬甸行者U Kyaw Win在28歲時開始以念珠修習止禪。年長後，臨近退休之際因公務前往曼德勒，偶然來到一所教授坎尼禪師（Kanni Sayadaw，1870–1956）修法的禪修中心，修習入出息念兩小時，獲得極佳的定力。退休後，他於2005年在仰光近郊茂比的拉特帕拉禪修中心（Ratthapāla Meditation Center）閉關兩個月，並撰寫一篇文章記錄其閉關經歷，名為《法的滋味》（Dhammarasa）。從文中可見其修行成果，正是多年慣行修習的實果。

另一位例子是義大利行者Eduardo。他在義大利時，每日修入出息念兩小時，後來前往緬甸尋師學道，拜見日照尊者（Ven. Ādiccaramsī / U Sun Lwin），學習莫哥禪師的系統，證悟佛法。後來他寫信給尊者，表示自己已在俄羅斯聖彼得堡教導佛法。這同樣是長年慣行修習所結的果。
《中部》第144經《給遮那的忠告經》（Channovāda Sutta）也明言，臨終時的正念與慣行，是脫離生死的關鍵。因此，慣行修習可視為證悟所需之「智慧波羅蜜」（paññā pāramī）的一種表現。】

我在第九年級時住在沙祁達鎮（Saketa）姨母家。升上第十年級後，我的大舅公是一位比丘，他告訴我：「這一年級有很多課業，不宜再住姨母家，不如來寺院跟我一起住。」我便搬入寺院居住。

在雨安居期間，他為在家信眾講解十二緣起（paṭiccasamuppāda），並使用莫哥禪師設計的圓形緣起圖。我問他：「尊者，這圓形圖是用來做什麼的？」他答：「我用它來教導眾生。」我又問：「尊者，佛法也是這樣轉來轉去的嗎？」他知道我尚未明白，便沒說太多。

他說：「輪迴（saṃsāra）就是這樣不斷地流轉。如果我向你解說『無明』（avijjā）、『執取』（upādāna）、『業行』（kamma），你也無法了解。」那天早上，他只說了這些。

到了中午，我下樓看見舅公請在家人入座打坐，教授他們修習入出息念（ānāpānasati）。我問他：「他們在做什麼？」他說：「這是在修禪。」我說：「佛法有兩種嗎？早上講的不是佛法嗎？」他答道：「早上的教導是為了說明輪迴的流轉；若你想從輪迴中解脫，就必須像他們那樣修禪坐觀。」我說：「尊者，這是佛陀的方法之一嗎？」他說：「是的，這就是。」我說：「不可能！真正的佛法應該是持念珠。」

他反問我：「你有看過佛陀手持念珠嗎？」

在布薩日放學時期，舅公會親自開車載我去瑞光大金塔（Shwedagon Ceti）參加布薩、守戒修行。【這顯示他過去生所積聚的波羅蜜深厚，今生方能如此修行。如今的年輕人，不必說修行了，連布薩日是哪天都記不清。我甚至不記得學校或政府是否曾因佛教戒日放假。在佛陀時代，佛弟子對這些戒日都極為重視。輪迴中能得人身、遇佛法，實屬罕見，因此應善用此機會修行。】

我從未見過佛像手持念珠。舅公接著說：「持念珠的修法，是佛陀出世之前的修行方式；佛陀與阿羅漢所修的，是像我們現在修的入出息念。」

我便請他傳授我這種修行方法。他說：「晚上你可以嘗試看看。每次吸氣與呼氣，都會觸及鼻孔的入口處，你要如實觀照。若你持續正念覺知，佛法自會向你展現。」

當晚，我照常誦完念珠後，開始修入出息念。大約過了五至十分鐘，我感覺身體似乎浮起來了——離地約七英吋。我心中欣喜地想：「哈！我成為阿羅漢了！」

我聽說真正的阿羅漢具有禪定神通力，可以飛行（就如佛陀時代的蘇西摩遊方者等）。於是我帶著歡喜心繼續修行，感覺身體越升越高。我想知道這是否真實，便睜開眼睛查看，發現自己的臀部仍然貼在墊子上。無論那是什麼，我依然持續修行，感覺身體似乎移動了一個手臂的距離；但當我再次睜開眼睛時，臀部依然穩穩地貼在墊子上。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

後來發生在我身上的事，是我十歲或十一歲的時候。在我們的臥室裡有一個大衣櫥。我走進去，像死人一樣躺在那裡，並思惟著——總有一天我也會這樣死去。肚子開始腫脹隆起，令人作嘔。肉體從棕色變成黑色，然後腫脹腐爛。我的大腿和腿也腫脹起來，散發出腐敗的氣味。那腐臭味太可怕了，我再也無法忍受，只好把心從它上面移開。然後它又恢復正常了。之前它還是一具腫脹、腐爛、發臭的屍體，現在又恢復正常了。這是什麼意思呢？我會再試一次，我把自己想像成一個死人，並思惟著它。

當我專注於肚子，它腫脹起來時，我的胸部也擴張了，腿和手也變得腫脹和擴張。沒過多久，它就開始腐爛發臭。我無法忍受那氣味，便放鬆了我的禪修。我心想，總有一天我也會這樣死去。死後，它會腫脹、腐爛、分解，身體變得毫無用處。我只是一直想著這些事情，並因此感到不快樂。

[在他很小的時候，他就思惟著死亡，這導致了他對身體的厭惡。這件事讓我想起阿姜查的一位弟子，阿姜T在俗家時的經歷。年輕時，坤T（坤類似於先生）從商學院畢業，他想繼續在美國深造，或者放棄深造，組織家庭。因此，他開始一個個地思考一些年輕女性朋友，想找一位做他的妻子。她們全都變成了一具具骷髏。最後，他放棄了深造的計劃，組織了家庭。後來他受阿姜查的剃度，成為一位著名的森林僧侶。

慾望——性慾在人類身上非常強烈，是一個與所有人相關的棘手問題。大多數還俗的出家人（西方人或亞洲人）大多與此有關。（？？）使出家人失去光彩的四件事是：女人（情慾）、金錢、酒精（各種毒品）和不正當的謀生方式。 我認為這些也可能與在家眾有關。在當今現代世界，我們可以看見情慾——性慾比以前更糟——例如同性戀、兒童色情、男妓（以前從未聽說過）、全球各地大量的墮胎（在這一點上，今天的人類不如動物）、經文也提到一些不正當的性行為——例如家庭成員之間的不倫之戀（adhamma raga）等等。如今，許多人類問題都與情慾有關。解決這些問題的方式也常常是錯誤的，有時非但沒有解決問題，反而透過法律和媒體來推廣它們。真是混亂！]

有時在村子裡會有功德法會（例如佛教節日，供養食物和資具給僧伽等），我們會邀請其他村莊的人、親戚和朋友。大家都乘坐牛車前來，我們與朋友和親戚相聚，大家都非常開心。我們搭建臨時的涼亭，並為這些場合做準備。所有功德供養結束後，所有的親戚朋友都離開了，留下我們獨自一人，充滿分離和悲傷。我們拆除了所有的臨時涼亭和準備工作，我看到這些又讓我們感到不快樂——又一次。生活在人類世界裡沒有真正的快樂和愉悅，也沒有任何穩定可言。在所有這些快樂和愉悅的背後，都存在著不悅和不快。人們擁有波羅蜜——如同帶刺的完美，開始顯現出來，也帶有尖銳的刺。快樂之後接著悲傷是一種自然現象。如果真是這樣，那就沒有真正的快樂可言。

因此，我想爬上月亮。所以我問母親：「母親！我試著爬上月亮，但我做不到。有沒有其他地方能讓人免於衰老、疾病和死亡？」母親說：「沒有，月亮上也沒有。我是在跟你開玩笑，即使你在月亮上，你也無法擺脫衰老、疾病和死亡。這個身體是跟著你的。」「佛陀也會衰老、生病和死亡嗎？」「佛陀只會在這一次衰老、生病和死亡，以後不會再發生了。」「如果這是可能的，那麼我就要修習他的方法。」「佛陀是如何修行的呢？」然後母親教我如何使用念珠念誦「無常（anicca）、苦（dukkha）、無我（anatta）」。 「你只會在這一次衰老、生病和死亡，以後永遠不會再發生了。」

然後我開始數念珠。晚上不念誦我就睡不著。父親也教我如何使用念珠——例如佛陀的功德（佛陀有九種功德或特質，在緬甸非常普遍的修行方式，主要用於保護和力量）、三法印（即無常、苦、無我），以及按照自己的年齡數念珠（例如，如果你五十歲，那麼每一輪念珠要念誦五十次）等等。我每天晚上和齋戒日（即每月四天）都這樣修行，直到我高中十年級（即大學入學前）。

無論我在每個布薩日（齋戒日）有什麼事，我從未錯過。我下定決心要按照佛陀的教義修行，並盡力不執取這個五蘊（身心）。然後我升到了高中十年級。

[在這裡，我們可以看見習慣性修行的重要性——止禪或觀禪。尊者過去世（也曾是僧侶）的習慣性修行延續到了今生，即使在年幼時，作為一個小孩子或男孩，它也從未消失。

有一位緬甸瑜伽行者吳覺溫（U Kyaw Win），他在二十八歲時開始用念珠修習止禪。當他年紀稍長，接近退休年齡時，他因公務前往曼德勒市，並來到一個教授堪尼尊者（Kanni Sayadawgyi，1870-1956）禪修方法的禪修中心。他有機會坐禪兩個小時，修習安那般那念，並獲得了良好的三摩地。退休後不久，他於2005年在仰光附近的馬烏比（Maw-be）的拉塔帕拉禪修中心（Ratthapāla Meditation center，這是妙津尊者（Mye-zin Sayadaw）教授堪尼方法的中心）進行了兩個月的閉關。他將兩個月的閉關經驗寫成了一篇名為《法味》（Taste of Dhamma，Dhammarasa）的文章。在我看來，他在修行上相當成功。這就是多年習慣性修習止禪或觀禪的益處。

另一個例子是一位名叫愛德華多（Eduardo）的義大利瑜伽行者，據他說，他在義大利時每天修習安那般那念兩個小時。後來他去了緬甸，尋找一位老師一起修行。他遇到了阿迪加蘭西尊者（Ven. Ādiccaramsī，吳孫倫，U Sun Lwin），尊者教他莫哥禪師（Mogok Sayadaw）的禪修系統，他因此證悟了佛法。後來他寫信給阿迪加蘭西尊者，說他在俄羅斯的聖彼得堡教禪。這也是習慣性修行的結果。習慣性修行對於臨終時非常重要。我們可以在《中部》（Majjhima Nikāya）第144經，《闡陀教誡經》（Channovāda Sutta）中看到這一點。也可以說這是證悟的智慧波羅蜜（paññā pāramī）。]

我高中九年級時，住在沙給鎮（Saketa town）阿姨家。十年級時，我的伯公，一位佛教僧侶，對我說，這個階段有很多書要讀。所以他叫我不要住在阿姨家，搬到寺院去住。因此，我搬到了寺院。雨季期間，他用莫哥的十二因緣圓圖向在家眾講述緣起（paṭiccasamuppāda）的過程。所以我問他：「尊者，這個圓圖是做什麼用的？」「我用這個圓圖來教導人們。」「尊者，您的佛法也像這樣是循環的嗎？」他知道我不明白，所以沒有多說。

「輪迴（saṃsāra）就是這樣運轉的。如果我告訴你無明（avijjā）、執取（upādāna）和業（kamma），你什麼也不會知道。」他只向我解釋了這麼多（這發生在早上）。中午我下樓，我的伯公請在家眾坐下來禪修，並教他們安那般那念。我問他在做什麼。他告訴我那是在修習禪定。我說：「佛法有兩種嗎？」「早上您用圓圖教他們，那不是佛法嗎？」他說：「早上的佛法教導是展示輪迴的運轉。如果你想從輪迴中出來，你必須像這樣坐禪。」我想從輪迴中解脫，便問他：「尊者，這是佛陀的方法之一嗎？」「是的。」我對他說：「不可能，一定是數念珠。」

「你見過佛陀拿著念珠嗎？」學校放假期間的齋戒日，我的叔叔（即他在沙給鎮期間）用他的車送我去雪德宮塔（Shwe-dagon ceti）守齋。（我們可以看見他過去世累積的強大波羅蜜。對於我們大多數年輕人來說，別說像他那樣修行了，他們甚至不記得大多數的齋戒日。我甚至不記得學校和政府機關在佛教齋戒日——滿月和新月——放假。在佛陀時代，佛教徒是有齋戒日的。在輪迴中，能夠遇到並擁有佛陀的佛法是非常罕見的。因此，佛教徒應該珍惜這個難得的機會修行。）

我從未見過佛像拿著念珠。然後我的伯公繼續說：「這些念珠的修行是佛陀之前的修行。佛陀和阿羅漢的修行就像我們現在修習的安那般那念。」然後我請求他：「請教導我這種修行方法。」他給了我指導，並說：「晚上你應該試試看。」「每次吸氣和呼氣時，氣流都會觸碰鼻孔的入口，你必須知道它們。如果你持續地以正念覺知它們，佛法就會向你顯現。」

晚上，讀完書後，我做了平時的念珠修行，然後修習安那般那禪定。五到十分鐘後，我的身體似乎漂浮起來——離地面大約七英寸。哈！我現在成阿羅漢了。我聽說真正的阿羅漢可以用禪定力飛行（就像佛陀時代的蘇悉摩遊行者和一些佛教徒一樣）。然後我可以去任何我想去的地方。所以，我很高興地繼續修行。我覺得它在空中升得更高了。是真的還是假的，我想知道。所以我睜開眼睛看著，看到我的臀部仍然在床墊上。不管那是什麼，我繼續修習，它似乎移動了一臂的長度，當我再次睜開眼睛時，它又黏在了床墊上。

I continued with the practice, it seemed like I was moving up one human’s height. With the continued practice it seemed my head was touching the roof. Continuing with it the roof was opened, and with the brightness the body moved up to the sky like a firework. It was too quick and went up with acceleration. The whole sky could not be seen in any shape, and form with full of light I was in the sky. My mind was peaceful, happy, and clear. It was like riding on the waves of the air. It must be Dhamma happiness.

Could it be Nibbāna? It seemed I attained Nibbāna. I was enjoying absorption with thinking. I fully enjoyed the jhanic pleasure, and came out of it. Furthermore, I went into jhāna at midnight, and came out at four a.m. in the morning (i.e., four hours in absorption). This present physical body did not go up there, but only the upādāna-rūpa—clinging physical form going up there. This loathsome body (asubha body) was staying on the mattress. I knew all these only after practicing Dhamma, and could explain them. At first, I did not know in this way. (He knew the experience but can’t explain it.)

(In one of Mogok Sayadaw’s talks, he said that most people thought the mind could go here, and there. This was a wrong view (sassata) like the view of soul theory, but the mind could incline toward anywhere. We can see this in The-inn Gu Sayadaw’s experience at the time of his realization of anāgāmi. Some wrong views are the outcome of practices, and experiences which were misinterpretations.)

At night after my study I developed ānāpāna samādhi, and went to the sky. I stayed there until my satisfaction, and came down in the morning. These were regular, and I didn’t sleep for seven months. Not sleeping is my own mind. The body down there was asleep (i.e., the body was at rest). I knew that my own mind was not asleep. At school, my face was clear, and I passed my exams. I arrived at the age of 23. My mother was worried about me marrying a city or town girl. So she arranged a country girl for me. Mother made this arrangement with the parents of a girl in our village.

Both sides of the parents were finished with the engagement, and it only needed my consent. My mother said to me; “My son you should not have a family life with a city girl, instead marry a country girl. I have already made an engagement for you.” My response was; “Mother, if you like her, then it is all right. I don’t have the wish of only marrying this one, and not the other one. For a good man, the woman's side will come for the engagement. I have to work for a woman if I don’t get one, and let it be. Mother said; “No, it’s already arranged.” I tell you this matter because it was connected with perfection—pāramī, and this will come later.

When I was thinking about this matter, marrying a woman was like signing the agreement. I didn’t have any love affair with her. It wasn’t like my friends. I must speak to her, so I asked to meet her at night without her parents at home. When I went there at night, she came out, and invited me inside the house. In her room, I was sitting on the bed, and she was a little distance on the floor. When I looked at her, she was like a wooden statue to me (i.e., seemed to be a lifeless object). She did not appear to me as a woman.

(When a sotāpanna sees a woman, it is not a woman to him. I have already mentioned one of Ajahn Chah’s disciple Khun T, when he was thinking about having a family life, and every woman he thought about for his choice all of them appeared to him like skeletons.)

I did not say a word for half an hour, so that she asked me; “Darling, are you not well?” I responded with one words as; “I am well” After 15 minutes passed by “Do you have a lover in Rangoon?” I only responded with; “I don’t have anyone”, and then another 15 or 20 minutes passed. Likewise, I myself don't know what happened to me. She asked me; “Do you see any fault in me?” My response was; “No, you don’t have any fault.” With this response, she was crying. I knew that she was crying, but in my mind she was still a wooden statue for me.

After that, I returned home. Next day I told my sister that last night I went there, and spoke with her, but she was not a human. They all laughed at me. These are related to perfection, because of wholesome perfection I could practice the Dhamma like now.

Even though I had the perfection I did not think about to become a monk, it was never in my head. The reason was I saw village monks sitting there in their monasteries the whole day. When I saw them, I myself became bored. “What are they thinking by sitting there the whole day?”

I thought their lives were too dry and boring, and only they could bear it. Anyhow, I myself now am a monk. When I was continuing my study (maybe in university) one day my elder sister, and uncle, not giving any reason, took me somewhere for ordination (This was arranged by his parents. Sayadaw himself also did not mention very clearly the reason behind the ordination.) They were afraid of me that not telling anything about it to me. My character is never talking, and doing things which are not right. So they were afraid of asking me to ordain by force. From Saketa (the town where his uncle lived) they brought me to Mingaladon (this is the place where the international airport exists, not far from Rangoon, and Maw-be) by car. At Munpye-yanpye Pagoda (it means free from Mara, and enemy) there was a nine days retreat of The-inn Gu meditation for the temporary ordained monks.

(Here the working of kamma was quite interesting. He learned ānāpānasati from his great uncle monk who was a teacher of Mogok tradition. Except samatha practice he did not learn any important Dhammas from him for the Four Noble Truths, paṭiccasamuppāda, vipassanā, etc. He also did not have any interest in Mogok Dhamma. His knowledge of practice was zero, and he encountered many difficulties in his practice. It seemed to me he had a strong kammic link with The-inn Gu Sayadaw. It makes me remember one of Ajahn Chah’s disciples—Ajahn P. He was from Bangkok, and after graduation in Thailand he continued his further study in the U.S. One day in his meditation there he saw a senior monk in his practice, and he did not know who the monk was.

He came back to Thailand, and was looking for this monk. He was looking for him in the well known Thai forest tradition of Ajahn Mun’s senior disciples—such as Ajahn Fung, Ajahn Wen, Ajahn Chop, etc. Later he found Ajahn Chah who was the monk who appeared in his meditation. He became Ajahn Chah’s disciple, and because of his samādhi had a monastery in Bangkok at a noisy area near Don Muang international airport. Therefore, everyone has their own teacher of kammic link.)

So they took me to Kammaṭṭhāna teacher U Siridhamma who was The-inn Gu Sayadaw’s disciple. They did not even tell me a word of the purpose of taking me here. When we arrived there, my parents were waiting for us. There was also a pavilion for monk ordination with new monk robes inside. I was speaking with Sayadaw, and later my mother called me to have my lunch, and to take a bath.

When I was preparing for a bath, my mother told me to wash my head first. When I was sitting with my bowed head, mother poured water on my head, and then cut my head hair with the scissors. After two or three times of cutting, the middle part of the hairs were gone. It made me angry, but to my mother I couldn’t say anything about it, if another person I could kill him. (Here we can see his dosa character which is tough and determined.)

Because I had other plans, and already spent some money on it (not mentioned it). It made me angry and sorrowful, but I let go of the anger and conceit. It was up to my mother’s decision to become a monk. When I was young, I always listened to my parent’s words, and never made them suffered mentally by opposing them.

我繼續修行的時候，感覺自己似乎往上升了一個人體的高度。隨著觀修的持續，彷彿我的頭觸碰到了屋頂。繼續專注之下，屋頂似乎被打開，然後在一道明亮的光芒中，整個「身體」如同煙火般升向天空。那速度極快，迅速加速往上，整個天空已無任何具體形狀，完全是被光明所充滿，我似乎置身於虛空之中。當下的心境極其平靜、喜悅且清明，就像乘風飄浮一般。那應當就是法喜（Dhamma-sukha）。

我心中想：這會是涅槃（Nibbāna）嗎？似乎我證得了涅槃。我在定中極其享受這種內攝的安止狀態，當下思惟中盡是法樂。我完全沉浸在禪悅（jhāna-sukha）之中，之後出定。此後，我在午夜時再度入定，直到清晨四點才出定（即四小時的入定體驗）。

這具現前的肉體並未真正上升，升起的只是執取所依的色身（upādāna-rūpa），這具不淨之身（asubha-kāya）仍然留在坐墊上。我是在後來深入修行佛法後，才得以明白這些經驗，並能解釋它們。起初，雖然經歷了這些，但我無法分辨其中的內涵。（他當時有經驗，卻尚未能從法義上理解。）

【莫哥禪師（Mogok Sayadaw）曾在某次開示中提到：大多數人以為「心」能夠到處去，其實這是一種常見（sassata-diṭṭhi），類似靈魂論的邪見。心並不是「到」那裡，而是「趨向」於那裡。這點在提印谷禪師（The-inn Gu Sayadaw）證得不還果（anāgāmi）時的經歷中可見一斑。有些錯誤見解，其實是來自對自己禪修經驗的誤解與錯誤詮釋。】

每晚課業結束後，我便修習入出息念三摩地（ānāpāna-samādhi），心境升入虛空。每次入定都會留在那處，直到內心滿足為止，清晨再返回。這樣的經歷持續了七個月，其間我幾乎不曾睡眠。不眠的是我的「心」，下方的色身只是處於休息狀態。我清楚知道：自己的心是覺醒的，並未沉睡。

在學校，我的面容清明，且順利通過考試。此時我已二十三歲。母親擔心我將來若與城市女子成婚會有困難，所以主動為我安排了一位鄉村女孩。她與村裡另一戶人家商議好，雙方家長都已同意，僅剩我點頭答應。

母親對我說：「孩子，你不應與城市女子組成家庭，而應娶鄉下女孩。我已經為你訂親了。」
我回答：「媽媽，若是你中意，那也可以。我並沒有只想娶這一位或不娶另一位的執著。若我是個好人，女人家自然會來提親；若無緣，那就算了。」
母親說：「不行，這件事我已安排好了。」
我說出這段往事，是因為它與**波羅蜜（pāramī）**相關，後來的事也與此有關。

當時我思惟：結婚就像簽下契約一般。我與這位女子之間並無愛戀，也不像我的朋友們那樣。我覺得自己應該與她好好談談，便請求與她單獨見面（在她父母不在家時）。當晚我前去拜訪，她出來迎接我並請我入內。在她的房間裡，我坐在床邊，而她則坐在地板上稍遠處。

當我看向她時，她在我眼中就像是一尊木雕像——沒有生命的形體。我看不出她是個「女人」。

【當一位**入流者（sotāpanna）**見到女性時，心中所見已不再是「女人」的影像。先前提到阿姜查的弟子Khun T，在考慮婚姻時所思惟的每位女性，都在他觀中化為骷髏，正是一樣的現象。】

我在那裡坐了半個小時，一句話也沒說。她便問：「親愛的，你身體不舒服嗎？」我僅回了一句：「我很好。」

過了十五分鐘，她又問：「你在仰光是不是有別的戀人？」我只說：「我沒有任何人。」

又過了十五、二十分鐘，我也不知自己是怎麼了。她問我：「你是不是覺得我哪裡不好？」我回答：「不，你並沒有什麼不好。」

她聽後哭了起來。我知道她在哭，但在我心中，她依然像一尊木雕像——沒有感情的形體。

隔天，我回家後告訴姐姐：「昨晚我去見她，也跟她說話，但她根本不像是人類。」
家人聽了都笑我。其實這一切都與波羅蜜的成熟有關，正因為過去善業成熟，我今生才能如此修行佛法。

儘管我具有這樣的波羅蜜，但我當時從未想過要出家，這個念頭根本不曾出現在我心裡。因為我看到村裡的比丘每天只是靜坐於寺院之中，我內心會升起厭倦之感：「他們整天坐著在想什麼呢？」

我當時認為那種生活太過枯燥，只有他們自己才能忍受得了。但沒想到，今日我也成為比丘了。

當我繼續讀書（也許是大學階段）時，有一天我的姐姐與舅舅帶我出去，未向我說明任何理由。他們其實是要安排我出家（這是由家人計畫好的，尊者本人也沒有說出明確的出家動機）。他們擔心若直接對我說明會遭到反對，因此採取這種方式。因為我的性格向來是若事不正當，便會拒絕去做，因此他們不敢強迫我。

於是他們從沙祁達（Saketa，我舅公所在的城鎮）將我帶至敏加拉東（Mingaladon），這地點靠近仰光與茂比（Maw-be），也是國際機場所在之處。當時在**敏比耶敏比佛塔（Munpye-Yanpye Pagoda，意為「遠離魔軍與敵人」）**舉辦為期九天的「提印谷禪修營」，專為短期出家的比丘而設。

【這裡可以看見業力的作用頗為深妙。他最初學習入出息念，是從莫哥系統的舅公那裡學來的，但除此之外，他並未深入修學四聖諦、緣起、內觀等核心佛法內容，也對莫哥法並不特別有興趣，可說實修知識為零，並在修行中遭遇不少困難。然而，最終他卻與提印谷禪師建立了強烈的宿業因緣。

這讓我想起阿姜查的弟子Ajahn P的故事。他來自曼谷，泰國大學畢業後赴美進修，有一次禪坐時，見到一位高僧的影像，卻不知其是誰。回國後，他尋找這位高僧，遍訪阿姜曼系統下的諸位名師（如Ajahn Fung, Ajahn Wen, Ajahn Chop等），最後發現那位在禪坐中出現的僧人正是阿姜查。他便成為阿姜查的弟子。後來因其定力堅固，雖住於曼谷喧鬧的機場附近，也能設立道場，修行不輟。由此可見，每個人皆有自己宿業相應的導師。】

他們帶我去見一位禪修導師——U Siridhamma長老，是提印谷禪師的弟子。他們甚至一句話都沒告訴我這趟旅程的目的。抵達後，父母已在現場等候，寺內早已準備好剃度棚與新比丘的袈裟。

我與長老談話一陣後，母親叫我去吃飯並準備沐浴。當我準備洗澡時，母親告訴我要先洗頭。我低下頭坐著時，母親開始為我澆水，接著拿剪刀剪去我的頭髮。剪了兩三下，中間的頭髮已不見了。

我內心升起強烈的瞋怒，但對母親我什麼話也說不出口。若是別人，我可能會對他動粗，甚至會傷害他人。【這顯示他具有剛毅而猛烈的瞋性格（dosa-carita），若無強力對治，很容易爆發。】

當時我原本有其他計畫，甚至已投入了一些金錢（未明說是何事）。因此，我心中既憤怒又悲傷。但最終，我還是放下了憤怒與我慢，順從母親的安排出家。從小到大，我都聽從父母的話，從不讓他們因我而感到憂傷。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

我繼續修行，感覺好像上升了一個人的高度。隨著持續的修行，我的頭似乎碰到了屋頂。再繼續下去，屋頂打開了，隨著光亮，身體像煙火一樣升到了空中。速度太快了，並且是加速上升。整個天空都無法看見任何形狀和形式，我充滿光芒地在空中。我的心平靜、快樂、清明。就像乘坐在空氣的波浪上。這一定是佛法的喜悅。

這會是涅槃嗎？我感覺好像證得了涅槃。我沉浸在思惟的喜悅中。我完全享受了禪那的快樂，然後從中出來。此外，我在午夜進入禪定，早上四點出來（即四個小時的入定）。現在這個肉身並沒有上去，只有執取的色身（upādāna-rūpa）上去了。這個令人厭惡的身體（asubha body）仍然躺在床墊上。這些都是我在修行佛法後才知道的，並且能夠解釋它們。起初，我並不知道是這樣的。（他知道那種體驗，但無法解釋。）

（在莫哥禪師的一次開示中，他說大多數人認為心可以到處去。這是一種錯誤的見解（常見，sassata），類似於靈魂論的觀點，但心可以傾向於任何地方。我們可以在提因古禪師證得阿那含果時的經歷中看到這一點。一些錯誤的見解是修行和經驗的結果，但被錯誤地解釋了。）

晚上讀完書後，我修習安那般那的定力，然後升到空中。我在那裡待到心滿意足，早上才下來。這些都是規律性的，我七個月沒有睡覺。不睡覺是我自己的心。下面的身體睡著了（即身體在休息）。我知道我自己的心並沒有睡著。在學校，我的臉色清明，並且通過了考試。我到了二十三歲。我的母親擔心我娶一個城市女孩。所以她為我安排了一個鄉下女孩。母親與我們村裡一個女孩的父母做了這個安排。

雙方父母都完成了訂婚，只需要我的同意。我的母親對我說：「我的孩子，你不應該娶一個城市女孩，而應該娶一個鄉下女孩。我已經為你訂婚了。」我的回答是：「母親，如果您喜歡她，那就好。我並沒有只娶這一個而不娶另一個的想法。對於一個好男人來說，女方會主動來提親。如果我沒有對象，我就得去追求，就這樣吧。」母親說：「不，已經安排好了。」我告訴你這件事，因為它與圓滿——波羅蜜有關，這將在後面提到。

當我思考這件事時，娶妻就像簽訂合約。我對她沒有任何愛戀之情。不像我的朋友們那樣。我必須和她說話，所以我要求晚上在她父母不在家的時候見她。晚上我去了那裡，她出來迎接我，並邀請我進屋。在她的房間裡，我坐在床上，她則坐在離我稍遠的地板上。當我看著她時，她對我來說就像一個木製雕像（即似乎是一個沒有生命的物體）。她在我眼中並不像一個女人。

（當一個初果聖者（sotāpanna）看見女人時，那在他眼中並非女人。我已經提過阿姜查的一位弟子坤T，當他考慮組織家庭時，他所想到的每一個女人在他眼中都像骷髏。）

我半個小時沒有說一句話，所以她問我：「親愛的，你不舒服嗎？」我只回答了一個字：「我很好。」過了十五分鐘，「你在仰光有愛人嗎？」我只回答：「我沒有任何人」，然後又過了十五或二十分鐘。同樣地，我自己也不知道發生了什麼事。她問我：「你覺得我有什么缺點嗎？」我的回答是：「沒有，你沒有任何缺點。」聽到這個回答，她哭了。我知道她在哭，但在我的心中，她仍然是一個木製雕像。

之後，我回到家。第二天我告訴我的姐姐，昨晚我去了那裡，和她說話了，但她不像人類。他們都嘲笑我。這些都與圓滿有關，因為有善的圓滿，我才能像現在這樣修行佛法。

即使我擁有圓滿，我也沒有想過要成為一名僧侶，這從未出現在我的腦海裡。原因是，我看到村裡的僧侶整天坐在他們的寺院裡。當我看到他們時，我自己也感到厭煩。「他們整天坐在那裡都在想些什麼呢？」

我認為他們的生活太枯燥乏味了，只有他們才能忍受。無論如何，我現在自己也是一名僧侶。當我繼續我的學業（可能是在大學）時，有一天我的姐姐和叔叔沒有給我任何理由，就帶我去某個地方出家（這是他的父母安排的。尊者本人也沒有很清楚地說明出家背後的理由）。他們害怕不告訴我任何關於出家的事。我的性格是從不說話，也不做不對的事情。所以他們害怕強迫我出家。他們從沙給鎮（他叔叔住的鎮）開車把我帶到明加拉頓（這裡是國際機場所在地，離仰光和馬烏比不遠）。在芒佩延佩佛塔（Munpye-yanpye Pagoda，意思是遠離魔羅和敵人）有一個為期九天的提因古禪修短期出家營。

（這裡業的運作非常有趣。他從他的伯公僧侶那裡學到了安那般那念，這位伯公是莫哥傳統的老師。除了止禪之外，他沒有從伯公那裡學到任何關於四聖諦、緣起、觀禪等重要的佛法。他對莫哥的佛法也沒有任何興趣。他的修行知識為零，並且在修行中遇到了許多困難。在我看來，他與提因古禪師有著強烈的業緣。這讓我想起阿姜查的一位弟子——阿姜P。他來自曼谷，在泰國畢業後，他繼續在美國深造。有一天他在禪修中看到一位年長的僧侶在修行，但他不知道這位僧侶是誰。

他回到泰國，一直在尋找這位僧侶。他在阿姜曼的著名泰國森林傳統的資深弟子中尋找他——例如阿姜放（Ajahn Fung）、阿姜文（Ajahn Wen）、阿姜喬（Ajahn Chop）等等。後來他找到了阿姜查，這位正是他禪修中出現的僧侶。他成為了阿姜查的弟子，並且因為他的定力，在曼谷喧鬧的廊曼國際機場附近擁有一座寺院。因此，每個人都有自己業緣的老師。）

所以他們帶我去找葛瑪他那（Kammaṭṭhāna，禪修）老師鄔西里達瑪（U Siridhamma），他是提因古禪師的弟子。他們甚至沒有告訴我帶我來這裡的目的。當我們到達那裡時，我的父母正在等我們。還有一個僧侶受戒的涼亭，裡面放著新的僧袍。我正和禪師說話，後來我的母親叫我吃午飯和洗澡。

當我準備洗澡時，母親叫我先洗頭。當我低著頭坐著時，母親把水倒在我的頭上，然後用剪刀剪我的頭髮。剪了兩三次後，中間的頭髮都沒了。這讓我生氣，但我不能對我的母親說什麼，如果是其他人，我可能會殺了他。（在這裡，我們可以看見他強硬而堅定的瞋恚性格。）

因為我另有計劃，並且已經花了一些錢在上面（沒有提到）。這讓我感到憤怒和悲傷，但我放下了憤怒和傲慢。是否出家取決於我母親的決定。我年輕的時候，總是聽父母的話，從不反對他們，讓他們在精神上受苦。

I did not want to see and make my parents unhappy, and distressed because of me. When my mother became sick, I stayed near her without sleep (as a young boy concerned for her). As a child when l was playing never going far from mother, in case she needed me I could hear her calling.

[Here we can see Sayadaw as a young child even had the instinct of filial obligations, and practices—i.e., in Chinese shao-tao the foundation of all goodness to arise. So he was a filial son—shao-gi when he was young. I want to contemplate more about moral or ethical education or virtues which is the foundation of worldly wholesome dhamma to arise, that again supports spiritual development.

There is much evidence on this in the distant past or present day. Here I want to give two examples from mainland China in short which were extracted from two documentary films. The first one was from Tian-ginn, Ho-pei Province. He was called Mr. Gyauk (i.e., Chinese family name). He was the head of a criminal gang, and a rich person, most of his wealth could come from black money or wrong livelihood. Later he met a group of people who were touring the whole China lecturing on Chinese culture, and moral education which were not from books, but directly from their lives, and experiences—How their characters, and lives were changed? He himself became a changed person, and became a well known philanthropist.

The second person was from southern China Chow-chou district Guang-don Province. He was called Mr. Shel (family name), and seemed to be from the countryside. He was the leader of a small group of thugs in his area, and everyone was afraid of him. Likewise, he gave a lot of trouble to people there. He exploited people by force, and violence. Therefore, many sold their lands (farm lands), and left the place. He got them at a cheap price. Later he had the chance to see some documentary films on moral education, and Buddhism which I have mentioned above. He changed his life in accordance with the teachings of Chinese sages, and the Buddha, and became a totally new person, even his face was changed from unwholesome to wholesome. Later he used the video records on moral education to train people around China in his place. He built a center for this purpose, because he got many lands which are mentioned above. Before he was a violent thug, now an educator on moral education, and also became a practicing Buddhist of Pure Land Buddhism. For their lives can check the following website—www.sxjyggw.org]

When I was young I experienced unhappy things (i.e., human sufferings around him), and in this way became a monk. Before I became a monk, one time when I was crossing the Pegu Stream, and got stuck in the thick mud. I thought to myself—“I must die, and there is no-one to save me. It’s also very far from the village.” I was calling on the Buddha, and not very long the tide water would arise, and except the Buddha no-one could save me.

After some time, the fisherman Ko Aung Din, who was our neighbor returning from fishing saw me, and saved my life. Arrived back home, my mother gave me food. I was thinking that when people encountered dukkha they were calling for the Buddha. In that case, what should I do to be near the Buddha? If I was in dukkha I would be near the Buddha. And then I made the following wish—“In every life let me encounter dukkha!” My whole body was rising up with goose flesh. This is also a pāramī —perfection. Everyone desires, and for the happiness of human, and celestial beings (devata), and making wishes, and prayers for these things. But no-one is making the wish, and prayer of encountering dukkha. This can be said as the spirit of perfection.

After ordaining and doing the nine days retreat, what did my teacher tell me? Only at that time did I hear about vipassanā—insight practice. Sayadaw said that one day we must die, and dukkha vedanā would arise, and it would kill the patient with great suffering. If we practiced ānāpānasati continuously without changing, the body would be freed from ageing, sickness, and death.

After the nine days retreat, the time for disrobing arrived. Others were disrobed, and I was thinking of should I disrobe or not? If I disrobed, and in the world with my wife, and children surrounded with fire of greed, and sorrow. I had to support them with my education. I had to be afraid of the suffering related to them.

Furthermore, I even was afraid that one day my parents passed away. So I didn’t like extra dukkha. After my younger brother was born I said to my mother; “Mother, please do not give birth again, if you do, it will encounter dukkha again.” Mother was laughing at me when she heard what I said. They didn’t have saṁvega like me. I was afraid of encountering the fetters (saṁyojana), and sufferings (dukkha) by increasing one person (a family member). If mother was pregnant, I didn’t let her see me, because I was afraid of the fetters. If I had a family I would meet with the fetter of my wife, and children. I am determined not to let these things happen to me. When I was thinking about the disrobed monk, the reason for their discontinued monkhood were the matters of family members, work duties, etc. They replied to the abbot as they wanted to continue the practice because of other duties that they had to leave.

What I remembered was—men were caught up in traps, but I was free from it was up to me. If I followed them, I would catch up in the trap. So I was afraid of being caught up in a trap.

(Sayadaw had a fiancée, but it did not affect his mind. It was the same as Chao Khun Nor who was temporarily ordained for his deceased master His Majesty King Rama VI, and after disrobing would marry his fiancée. He changed his mind, and continued his practice in a Kuti for 45 years—a noble warrior. Most disrobing cases were related to women. There were also many western monks disrobed by women, and after marriages many divorced again. With my knowledge, westerners died in Thailand by women (disrobed), and died in Sri Lanka by illnesses (disrobed or died by hygienic problems).

我從小便不願讓父母因我而感到傷心或痛苦。母親生病時，我總是不眠不休地守在她身邊（當時我年紀尚幼，卻已懂得關懷照顧她）。孩提時代，我在戶外玩耍時從不離母親太遠，以便她若呼喚我，我能立即聽見。

【從這裡我們可以看到尊者自幼即具有孝道與道德實踐的本性。這與中華文化中的「少陶之行」（shao-tao）相應，為一切善法生起之根本。他可謂是個「少義之子」（shao-gi），童年即具孝順之德。我對於道德教育與人格陶冶的思考也從此生起，因為這正是世間正法（kalyāṇa-dhamma）之根基，並將進一步支持出世間的精神修行。

無論古今中外，這樣的例證皆可見。這裡舉中國大陸的兩個實例，皆取材自真實的紀錄片。第一位來自河北省天津地區，姓郭（Mr. Gyauk）。他曾是當地黑幫的首領，財富多來自不正當的手段。後來他遇到一群全國巡迴弘揚中華文化與倫理道德教育的老師們，他們並非僅從書本講道，而是以自身生命改變的實例去啟發他人。他受此感動，痛改前非，後來成為廣為人知的慈善家。

第二位來自廣東潮州地區，姓謝（Mr. Shel），似乎是鄉間人氏。過去他是地方的惡霸，人人畏懼。他以暴力壓迫鄉民，許多人因此被迫賤賣田產而離鄉。他藉機低價買入大片土地。後來他有機會觀賞了幾部有關道德教育與佛法的紀錄片（如前述），從此棄惡從善。他依據中國聖賢與佛陀的教誨改變人生，甚至外貌也從兇惡轉為和善。他後來設立一個教育中心，播放這些道德影片，教化地方民眾。原本的惡霸，終成為推廣倫理教育與念佛修行的居士。可參閱：www.sxjyggw.org】

我之所以出家，也與年幼時所見的種種苦相有關。有一次尚未出家時，我曾試圖涉水渡過卑古溪（Pegu Stream），卻不慎陷入深厚泥濘。我心中升起念頭：「我恐怕要死在這裡了，這裡離村子很遠，沒人能救我。」我開始呼喚佛陀，不久之後潮水湧來，除了佛陀，世上似乎再無人可救我。

過了一會兒，我們的鄰居——漁夫昂丁哥（Ko Aung Din）剛好捕魚歸來，發現我並救了我一命。回家後，母親為我準備飯食。我心想：人們在遭逢苦難時都呼喚佛陀，那麼，我該怎麼做才能「親近佛陀」呢？若我處於苦中，那我就會靠近佛陀。因此，我立下了這樣的願望：

「願我生生世世皆遇苦難！」

當我這樣發願時，全身起了雞皮疙瘩。這也是一種波羅蜜（pāramī）。世人總是祈願人天之樂，為了幸福、長壽、財富等祈求佛菩薩，卻沒有人祈願生生世世遭遇苦難。而我卻願意如此發願——這正是出離之心與波羅蜜精神的真實體現。

出家並參加九天禪修之後，我的老師對我說了什麼？就在那時，我第一次聽說毘婆舍那（vipassanā）內觀修行。長老說：「有一天我們都會死，臨終時苦受（dukkha vedanā）將如火焚燒，折磨病人至死。但若我們持續修習入出息念（ānāpānasati），不間斷、不改變，則此身將得以從老、病、死中解脫。」

九天禪修結束後，到了脫下袈裟的時候。其他人都還俗了，我內心猶豫：我該還俗嗎？

若我還俗，在家生活中，與妻子兒女為伴，卻要在貪愛與悲苦之火中載浮載沉。我還得用我的學歷養家活口，承擔與家人相關的諸多苦難與憂惱。我甚至害怕父母將來會去世，這些又會帶來額外的苦。因此，我不喜歡這些額外的痛苦。

當我弟弟出生後，我對母親說：「媽媽，請不要再生了。若再生，就會再遇苦難。」母親聽後笑了。她們不具像我這樣的厭離心（saṁvega）。

我害怕因為家庭成員的增加而帶來更多**結縛（saṁyojana）**與苦（dukkha）。若母親懷孕，我甚至不讓她靠近我，因為我懼怕那種因緣造成的牽連。若我組成家庭，就會遭遇妻子與孩子的牽絆。我心中立下決心：我不要讓這種事發生在我身上。

我觀察那些選擇還俗的比丘，發現他們的原因多與家庭、責任等事有關。他們對住持說：「我仍想修行，只是因為有些責任，不得不離開。」但我知道：**人都是因為自己跳進陷阱，才會被困住的，而不是別人逼的。**若我跟著他們走，就會步入同樣的陷阱。因此我十分警覺，不願墮入。

【尊者雖然曾有婚約，但並未動搖其心志。這使我聯想到照坤諾長老（Chao Khun Nor）。他原為泰王拉瑪六世的侍從，為了報恩曾短期出家，原定還俗後與未婚妻成婚，但最後卻改變主意，決意修行，並在一間寮房中修行四十五年，成為一位真正的「法戰士」。如今許多比丘還俗，幾乎皆與女性有關。西方出家人多數亦如此，有的還俗後結婚，最終卻又離婚。

以我所知，有些西方比丘在泰國因色欲而還俗，而在斯里蘭卡則因環境衛生與疾病問題而去世或還俗。】

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

我不希望因為我而讓我的父母不開心和痛苦。母親生病時，我寸步不離地守在她身邊，不眠不休（像一個關心母親的小男孩一樣）。小時候我玩耍時，從不敢離母親太遠，以防她需要我時，我能聽到她的呼喚。

[在這裡，我們可以看見尊者從小就具備孝順的本能和行為——也就是中國人所說的「孝道」，是所有善行的基礎。所以他從小就是一個孝順的兒子——「孝子」。我想更深入地思考道德或倫理教育或美德，這是世間一切善法生起的基礎，進而支持靈性的發展。 無論在遙遠的過去還是現在，都有許多證據證明這一點。在這裡，我想簡短地舉兩個來自中國大陸的例子，這兩個例子都摘自紀錄片。第一個來自河北省的天津。他被稱為郭先生（郭是他的中文姓氏）。他是一個犯罪集團的首腦，也是一個富人，他的大部分財富可能來自黑錢或不正當的謀生方式。後來他遇到了一群在中國各地巡迴演講中國文化和道德教育的人，這些教育不是來自書本，而是直接來自他們的生活和經驗——他們的性格和生活是如何改變的？他自己也變成了一個改過自新的人，並成為一個著名的慈善家。 第二個人來自廣東省潮州地區。他姓謝，似乎來自鄉下。他是當地一小群暴徒的首領，大家都害怕他。同樣地，他也給當地人帶來了很多麻煩。他用武力和暴力剝削人民。因此，許多人賣掉了他們的土地（農田）並離開了那個地方。他以低廉的價格買下了這些土地。後來他有機會觀看了一些我上面提到的關於道德教育和佛教的紀錄片。他按照中國聖賢和佛陀的教誨改變了自己的生活，變成了一個完全不同的人，甚至他的臉也從不善變成了善良。後來他利用這些道德教育的錄像帶在他所在的地方訓練中國各地的人。他為此建立了一個中心，因為他得到了上面提到的許多土地。以前他是一個暴力的暴徒，現在卻成了一位道德教育的教育家，並且也成為一位修習淨土佛教的佛教徒。關於他們的生活，可以查看以下網站——www.sxjyggw.org]

我小時候經歷過不快樂的事情（即他周圍的人間疾苦），就這樣我出家了。在我出家之前，有一次我過卑固河（Pegu Stream）時，陷進了厚厚的泥漿裡。我心想——「我一定會死在這裡，沒有人能救我。而且這裡離村子也很遠。」我呼喚著佛陀，沒過多久潮水就要漲起來了，除了佛陀沒有人能救我。

過了一段時間，我們的鄰居，漁夫郭昂丁（Ko Aung Din）捕魚回來時看見了我，救了我的命。回到家後，母親給我食物。我心想，人們遇到苦難時會呼喚佛陀。在這種情況下，我該怎麼做才能靠近佛陀呢？如果我身處苦難之中，我就會靠近佛陀。然後我許下了這樣的願望——「願我生生世世都遇到苦難！」我的全身都起了雞皮疙瘩。這也是一種波羅蜜——圓滿。每個人都渴望，為了人類和天人的幸福（devata），並為這些事情許願和祈禱。但沒有人許願和祈禱遇到苦難。這可以說是圓滿的精神。

出家並完成九天的閉關後，我的老師告訴了我什麼？直到那時我才聽說內觀——觀禪的修行。禪師說，有一天我們都會死，苦痛的感受（dukkha vedanā）會生起，它會以巨大的痛苦奪走病人的生命。如果我們持續不斷地修習安那般那念而不改變，身體就能從衰老、疾病和死亡中解脫出來。

九天的閉關結束後，到了還俗的時候。其他人還俗了，我心想，我應該還俗嗎？如果我還俗，在世俗中，妻子和孩子們被貪婪和悲傷的火焰包圍著。我必須用我的學識來養活他們。我必須害怕與他們相關的痛苦。

此外，我甚至害怕有一天我的父母會去世。所以我不喜歡額外的痛苦。我的弟弟出生後，我對母親說：「母親，請不要再生了，如果再生，他也會遇到苦難。」母親聽到我說的話時笑了。他們不像我一樣有厭離心（saṁvega）。我害怕因為增加一個家庭成員而遇到束縛（saṁyojana）和痛苦（dukkha）。如果母親懷孕了，我就不讓她見我，因為我害怕束縛。如果我有了家庭，我就會遇到妻子和孩子的束縛。我決心不讓這些事情發生在我身上。當我想到還俗的僧侶時，他們停止僧侶生活的理由是家庭成員、工作責任等等。他們向住持回答說，他們想繼續修行，但因為其他責任而不得不離開。

我記得的是——男人們都被困在陷阱裡，但我是否自由取決於我自己。如果我跟隨他們，我也會被困在陷阱裡。所以我害怕被困住。

（禪師有一位未婚妻，但這並沒有影響他的心。這與昭坤諾（Chao Khun Nor）的情況一樣，他為了他已故的老師拉瑪六世國王陛下暫時出家，還俗後將與他的未婚妻結婚。但他改變了主意，並在一間茅蓬裡繼續修行了四十五年——一位高貴的戰士。大多數還俗的案例都與女性有關。也有許多西方僧侶因為女性而還俗，結婚後許多又離婚了。據我所知，有些西方人在泰國因女性（還俗）而死亡，有些在斯里蘭卡因疾病（還俗或因衛生問題死亡）而死亡。）

There was a story in Thailand related to Luang Por Dun—Atulo's senior disciple. Luang Por Dun was well known, and one of Ajahn Mun’s senior disciples. He was a bit like a Zen Master, and one of his well known teachings is that Citta is Buddha. His senior disciple was 60 or over 60 of age, and an abbot of a monastery. One day he told his monks he would give up his robes. It shocked the monks, and lay followers. The reason he gave up his robes was he wanted to marry a daughter of a faithful follower. No-one could persuade him to stay in robes. Later, the news arrived at Luang Por Dun. Luang Por also stopped him, and tried to change his mind. At last Luang Por became impatient, and scolded him as follows— “You’re not looking at your mind, instead looking at the woman’s…?...”

I requested Sayadaw (his meditation teacher); “Ven. Sir, please show me the way. I want path, and fruit, and Nibbāna (magga, and phala). Could you show me the way to achieve this? Only Sayadaw had attained the magga, phala, and Nibbāna can teach me to attain it. If you’re not unclear in this matter, I’ll also become like you. I don’t want to be in an unclear situation by wearing the robes with a bald head.

If I am in an unclear situation, then I only want to be in lay life. So please give me a guarantee. Sayadaw’s response was; “I am looking for this kind of person. I give my guarantee to you”, and then I did not disrobe.

(Sayadaw talked about his tough, and hard life of school years in the village.)

I had studied a year in Kyauk-tam (i.e., Tham-Lynn town), and from there to Rangoon (already mentioned above). I had my education with difficulties, and a hard life. I was worrying about wasting all these matters, and also I was a young man.

(Here we can see his seriousness in practice, and a monk's life. He must achieve something in Dhamma instead of wasting his life without any result.)

I was thinking about another point: Sāriputta, and Mahāmoggallāna were rich men, and Anuruddha was a prince, even though they could wear robes. I was nothing special about, and why should not I let go of worldly matters. With these thoughts, I uplifted my spirit.

In this way I continued my practice. March and April were very hot, and at these time there were very few people. Sayadaw taught Dhamma only at nighttime (very hot at daytime). In the daytime I went up to Kyauk-wine ceti at Kyauk-galat. I sat in meditation in a cave at the middle platform.

I couldn’t control my mind. Likewise, I tried to establish ānāpānasati, and the mind with sensual pleasure related to young man was arising in me. I sent my mind to the entrance of the nostril, but every time it ran away from it. I became low-spirited. Furthermore, I took the face towel which was on my shoulder, and looked at the white towel and recited as—it’s white, it’s white, etc. With the reciting, the mind went out very often. With a lot of sense objects arose, and I couldn’t control it. In practice the meditation object disappeared, and after 15 days I went to ask Sayadaw to give me a method to control my mind. He told me; “You would not get it this way. With going, and coming has sati. You must have sati when going for alms round, and wearing your robes. From going, stepping etc. have to stick with sati. Your mind and body always have to be stick with sati.”

I wanted to realize the Dhamma, so I was holding things with sati, taking things with sati, going and stepping with sati, etc. If the mind went out, I used sati to come back to the object. In this way I practiced for 15 or 20 days, and my practice was becoming stronger. I went alms round in houses at Taik-koe-lone (Nine Buildings).

One day I went inside a house, and sitting at a place prepared for monks, and a girl came out and put foods inside my bowl. After I put on bowl lid my consciousness stopped, and disappeared.

(i.e., something like in coma, it’s called fall into bhavaṅga—life continuum mind in Abhidhamma. When Luang Por Tate Desaramsi, one of the Ajahn Mun’s senior disciple, was a young monk, he always fell into this state while sitting in samādhi. If someone can’t correct it, it will become a habit and affect the practice.)

The present mind, and body was not sticking with the conceptual object, and ceased or stopped (The object of perception or concept disappeared) that I did know myself, and the normal mind was stopped, and I didn’t know to get up. The girl also had to sit in front of me. After some time my sati came back, and became frightened.

Later, I told Sayadaw; “Ven. Sir, when I was receiving foods, my sati disappeared, and it became a problem. It’s better for me to temporarily stop the house alms round” Sayadaw's response was; “No, don’t stop it. You’re not stealing other people’s properties, and not insulting them. It comes from practice, and no fault at all. Who is blaming you?” “No-one, Ven. Sir” “In this case, you continue the practice.”

在泰國有一則關於隆波頓（Luang Por Dun）的故事——他是阿姜曼（Ajahn Mun）的大弟子之一，風格有些類似禪宗大師，他的一句著名法語是：「心即佛（Citta is Buddha）」。他的一位高足，年過六十，是一間寺院的住持。有一天，他竟然對僧團說自己要脫下袈裟。此語一出，震驚了所有比丘與信眾。原來他想娶一位在家信徒的女兒為妻。眾人無法勸止他。

消息傳至隆波頓耳中，隆波也出面阻止，想令他回心轉意。最後，隆波頓動了怒，呵斥他說：

「你不是在觀照你的心，而是在看那個女人的……！」

我向尊者（我的禪修導師）懇請說：「尊者，我想要道、果與涅槃（magga、phala、Nibbāna），請您指示我修行的道路。若您未曾證得道果與涅槃，我也只能成為和您一樣的人。我不願穿著袈裟、剃了頭，卻陷入模糊不明的狀態。」

「若修行是模糊的，那我寧願還俗當一個在家人。」
「所以，請您給我一個保證。」
尊者回答說：「我正是在尋找像你這樣的人，我向你保證。」

於是，我沒有還俗。

（尊者曾談及他在鄉下求學時的艱苦生活。）
我曾在Tham Lynn鎮的Kyauk-tam學了一年，之後前往仰光（前文已有提及）。我在困苦中完成學業，生活艱難，我擔心這些努力會白費，畢竟我當時還年輕。

【從這裡可見，他對出家生活的認真態度與深刻的責任感。他不願虛耗人生，而是立志在佛法中成就。】

我也想到：舍利弗與大目犍連是富家之子，阿那律甚至是王子，他們都能出家，為何我不能捨棄世俗？我一無所有，有何不能放下？如此思惟後，我內心生起了精進之志。

我便如此持續修行。三、四月天氣酷熱，此時參學者甚少，尊者只於夜晚說法（因白日炎熱難耐）。白天我便登上石柱山（Kyauk-galat）的石窟塔，在中層的石洞中靜坐禪修。

但我發現自己無法控制內心。我努力建立入出息念的覺知，但作為年輕人，心中的欲念仍時常升起。我試著將心導向鼻端，但它總是逃離觀境，令我沮喪。

後來，我將肩上的白毛巾取下，看著它反覆默念：「它是白的、它是白的……」但念著念著，心又逸出了。許多感官影像不斷生起，我無法止住。觀境消失，修行陷入困難。

十五天之後，我向尊者請教：「尊者，請給我方法來制心。」

他說：「**你這樣是得不到的。**你在走路、來回移動時也要有覺知（sati），乞食、穿袈裟都要與正念同在。從走、站、動、坐，每一動作皆須保持覺知。你的身與心，必須時時貼緊正念。」

我決意要證得佛法，於是開始拿東西有正念、行走有正念、穿衣吃飯皆與正念相應。只要心逸出，我便以正念牽回觀境。如此修行十五至二十日，觀行逐漸鞏固。

我開始至**Taik-koe-lone（九戶人家）**村落托缽乞食。有一天，我進入一戶人家，坐在為僧人預備的座位，一位女孩出來為我添食。當我蓋上缽蓋時，我的意識突然止息、消失。

（這類似於陷入有分心（bhavaṅga）的狀態，在阿毘達摩中指「生命流」心。隆波塔德尊者（Luang Por Tate Desaramsi），阿姜曼的弟子之一，年輕時禪坐中也經常落入此狀態。若無矯正，會成為修行障礙。）

那時，我的身心脫離了所緣（conceptual object），觀境消失，我無法動彈，不知該如何起身。女孩也只能坐在我面前等待。過了一會兒，我的正念回復了，我驚嚇萬分。

之後我向尊者報告：「尊者，剛才我在接受供養時，正念消失，導致問題。我是否該暫停乞食？」

尊者回答說：「**不，你不應停止。**你又沒有偷人財物，也沒有侮辱任何人。這是修行中自然會出現的現象，無須擔憂，也不是錯誤。誰在責怪你呢？」

我答：「沒有人，尊者。」

他說：「既然如此，你就繼續修行下去吧。」

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

泰國有一個關於龍普敦（Luang Por Dun）——阿圖羅尊者（Atulo）的資深弟子的故事。龍普敦非常有名，也是阿姜曼（Ajahn Mun）的資深弟子之一。他有點像一位禪宗大師，他著名的教導之一是「心即是佛」。他的資深弟子六十多歲，是一位寺院的住持。有一天他告訴他的僧侶們他要脫下僧袍。這讓僧侶和信徒們都感到震驚。他還俗的原因是他想娶一位虔誠信徒的女兒。沒有人能說服他留在僧團。後來，這個消息傳到了龍普敦那裡。龍普敦也阻止他，並試圖改變他的主意。最後，龍普敦不耐煩了，責罵他說：「你不是在看你的心，而是在看那個女人……？！」

我請求禪師（我的禪修老師）：「尊者，請指引我道路。我想要道、果和涅槃（magga 和 phala）。您能教我如何實現嗎？只有證得道、果和涅槃的禪師才能教我如何證得。如果您在這件事上沒有任何疑惑，我也會像您一樣。我不想剃光頭穿著僧袍，卻處於一種不明確的狀態。」

如果我處於不明確的狀態，那麼我只想過在家生活。所以請給我一個保證。禪師回答說：「我正在尋找像你這樣的人。我向你保證。」然後我沒有還俗。

（禪師談到了他在村子裡艱苦的求學歲月。）

我在皎曇（Kyauk-tam，即Tham-Lynn鎮）讀了一年書，然後去了仰光（上面已經提到過）。我的教育充滿困難，生活也很艱苦。我擔心浪費了所有這些努力，而且我還年輕。

（在這裡，我們可以看見他對修行和僧侶生活的認真態度。他必須在佛法上有所成就，而不是毫無結果地浪費生命。）

我還想到另一個重點：舍利弗（Sāriputta）和目犍連（Mahāmoggallāna）都是富家子弟，阿那律陀（Anuruddha）是王子，即使他們也能穿著僧袍。我並沒有什麼特別之處，為什麼不放下世俗的事物呢？有了這些想法，我振奮了精神。

就這樣我繼續修行。三月和四月非常炎熱，這段時間人很少。禪師只在晚上講授佛法（白天非常炎熱）。白天我會去皎加拉（Kyauk-galat）的皎溫塔（Kyauk-wine ceti）。我在中間平台的洞穴裡靜坐禪修。

我無法控制我的心。同樣地，我試著建立安那般那念，但與年輕男子相關的感官樂趣卻在我心中生起。我將心送往鼻孔的入口，但每次它都逃離那裡。我變得意志消沉。此外，我拿起搭在肩上的面巾，看著白色的毛巾，並念誦著——它是白色的，它是白色的，等等。隨著念誦，心經常跑出去。許多感官對象生起，我無法控制它。在修行中，禪修的對象消失了，十五天後我去請教禪師，給我一個控制心的方法。他告訴我：「你這樣做是得不到的。有來有去才有念。你在托缽和穿著僧袍時必須有念。從行走、踏步等都要與念相連。你的身心必須始終與念相連。」

我想證悟佛法，所以我以正念持有事物，以正念拿取事物，以正念行走和踏步等等。如果心跑出去了，我就用正念把它帶回到對象上。就這樣我修行了十五或二十天，我的修行變得更強了。我在岱高隆（Taik-koe-lone，九棟建築）的房子裡托缽。

有一天我進了一間房子，坐在為僧侶準備的位置上，一個女孩走出來把食物放進我的缽裡。在我蓋上缽蓋後，我的意識停止並消失了。

（也就是說，類似於昏迷，在阿毗達摩中稱為落入有分（bhavaṅga）——生命流的意識。當阿姜曼的資深弟子之一龍普爹·達薩拉西（Luang Por Tate Desaramsi）還是一位年輕的僧侶時，他總是在禪定時陷入這種狀態。如果沒有人糾正，它會變成一種習慣並影響修行。）

當下的身心沒有與概念對象相連，而是停止或中斷了（感知或概念的對象消失了），我不知道自己，正常的意識停止了，我不知道該站起來。那個女孩也不得不坐在我面前。過了一段時間，我的正念回來了，我感到害怕。

後來，我告訴禪師：「尊者，當我接受食物時，我的正念消失了，這成了一個問題。我最好暫時停止挨家挨戶的托缽。」禪師回答說：「不，不要停止。你沒有偷別人的財物，也沒有侮辱他們。這是修行中產生的，沒有任何過失。誰在指責你？」「沒有人，尊者。」「在這種情況下，你繼續修行。」

After that, I asked Sayadaw’s permission to go back home, and see my parents for a request to spend vassa (rain) here. (Here we can see Sayadaw as a good son or a filial son according to the Chinese culture standard. Actually, he had no need to do it, but his parents did not know about his commitment for a monk life. He would come back home after the nine-days retreat.)

After seeing my parents at home, I returned to the monastery.

Then I met the female followers (upāsikās) again at Taik-koe-lone (Nine Buildings). At present with respect, and over faith (saddhā) became craving (taṇhā). I thought they were extreme, and also didn’t know me before. And then I went to talk to Sayadaw about it (U Chandima did not mention what really happened to him, anyhow he was extremely careful about his practice, and monk life).

After listening to me, he said; “Yes, you can’t continue to stay here. If you continue to stay here there will be danger.” So he sent me to The-inn Gu Meditation Center in Maw-be. At night, when I sat for meditation, and understood the reality behind the incident. In my past life (it seemed the near past life) I had practiced here as a monk. At that time this place was a deep forest. (at the beginning of the twentieth century, in Thailand, there were also no clear boundaries between villages and forests. Outside the villages were the forests.) Every day on alms round I left some extra food for a group of cats’ family in the forest. This group of cats came, and ate these foods. Therefore, I had intimacy with these cats, because of the past fetters (saṁyojana) it continued to this present life. So I didn’t see any faults in them, and went to The-inn Gu Center for my practice.

(In Mae-chi Kaaw Siamlam’s biography mentioned one of her past lives as a mother hen with some chicks were wandering around a monastery, and looking for foods, insects, and rice grains. Nowadays, humans are closer to animals than before or ever. They created more kammic links with all sorts of animals; using animals in many ways with a lot of exploitation on animals, sometimes in very cruel ways. Today men talk a lot about human rights, and also use it wrongly. Do they ever think about animal rights? With animals, humans create a lot of environmental problems around the world.)

I arrived at The-inn Gu, and on 12^th of Na-yone (i.e., roughly in June), and I started my practice there, even after a month I didn't have any realization. With breathing in, and breathing out vedanā arose (i.e., dukkha vedanā), and then breathing strongly to overcome dukkha vedanā was becoming a practice. In the instruction when painful feelings arose, and asking the yogi to breathe strongly again. When it was freed from ānāpānasati, the mind returned to dukkha vedanā. When vedanā became unbearable and I had to re-establish ānāpānasati.

Sometimes with good jhāna it was freed from vedanā (Here the language Sayadaw used did not represent the exact meaning. Good jhāna was not the real abortion state, but represented strong samādhi. We can never be free from feeling, one type of three feelings always exists as one of the five khandhas. Freed from vedanā meant I could bear it.) Sometimes it fell back on vedanā (i.e., vedanā pulling the mind down to its place).

What did Sayadawgyi say about it? (i.e., referred to The-inn Gu U Ukkaṭṭha). He taught: “Hot, stiffness, tightness are vedanā, numbness is vedanā, to vedanā noting it as vedanā” (from Sayadaw U Ukkatha’s talk). I had to note them as vedanā, but I didn’t know about it. I had listened to other talks also, and didn’t know anything about them. Likewise, I did not know about insight practice (vipassanā).

(Here we know about the importance of study (pariyat or ñāta pariññā). U Chandima didn’t have a good teacher to guide him. He had the chance to study with his great uncle monk who was teaching the Mogok System, but it seemed he had not learnt anything from him when he was in high school. I want to say here the importance of Mogok Sayadaw’s Dhamma talks in practice. It not only helps us to develop wisdom faculties also directs us to the clear direction on the practice).

I only remember one Dhamma, which is whether you want to know if you are enlightened. (i.e., the state of stream entry—sotāpanna)—“with the contact of the eye, and physical form (rūpa) if you know them as seeing a man, and knowing a man seeing a dog, and knowing a dog, etc. These are normal knowing (knowing with concepts), and you don’t have any realization.”

I only understood this one. The other things are the five khandhas, etc. I did not know anything about them. “In the practice, the normal knowing of seeing man, and knowing as man, seeing dog, and knowing as dog; it’s not the realization yet; but if you are seeing man, and not knowing as man, seeing dog, and not knowing as dog is the realization.” I only knew this one, and this was a manual Dhamma for me. Now I have attained the Dhamma with this one as my manual.

The teachers taught the students as—“noting the hotness, stiffness, and tenseness as vedanā, and continue to observe them.” Then I went to ask my teacher; “Ven. Sir, should I note the hotness, stiffness, tenseness as vedanā?” He said to me; “Yes, it’s” Then I noted them as —hotness is vedanā, stiffness is vedanā, vedanā, vedanā, etc. When I checked it I only knew hotness, stiffness, and aches, and pain, but didn’t know vedanā (i.e., get lost in words, and concepts). There was an old nun who looked after me. Her name was Daw Mittara, she herself also was a teacher (it seemed teaching the nuns, and laywomen).

之後，我請求尊者讓我回家一趟，去拜見父母，請求他們的同意，讓我能在此處結夏安居（vassa）。
【從這裡可見尊者是一位孝順的兒子，若以中華文化的標準而言，這是一種少有的德行。事實上，他其實無需如此做，因為他的父母並不知曉他已下定決心修行僧道。他原本在結束九日禪修後即打算回家一趟。】

我回家探望父母之後，便重返寺院。不久，我又再次遇見**Taik-koe-lone（九戶人家）**那裡的在家女信眾（upāsikā）。這時，她們對我起了過分的敬仰與信心（saddhā），但那種信心中摻雜了渴愛（taṇhā），已不再純淨。我認為她們過於偏激，而且以前也從未真正了解過我。

於是我去向尊者報告這件事（雖然尊者U Candima並未詳述實際發生了什麼，但可知他對自己的修行與出家身份極為謹慎與自律）。

尊者聽我說完之後，對我說：「你不能再繼續住在這裡了，若再久留，將會有危險。」於是，他將我送往茂比（Maw-be）的The-inn Gu內觀中心。

夜晚禪坐時，我開始明白這些事件背後的因緣——在我過去世（可能是近前生），我也曾於此地出家修行。那時，這個地區還是一片深林。（在二十世紀初的泰國，村落與森林往往並無明確界線，村外即是林地。）

每天外出乞食時，我都會特地留一些食物，給森林中一群野貓享用。這群貓每日來到，享用我留下的飯菜。久而久之，我與這群貓產生了親緣關係。由於這些過去的結縛（saṁyojana），這份緣分延續到了今生。所以，我對這些人並未生起防備，也未察覺問題的根源，便被送往The-inn Gu中心繼續修行。

【在緬甸女居士 Kaaw Siamlam的傳記中亦有記載：她曾於過去世為一隻母雞，帶著幾隻小雞在寺院附近覓食，啄食昆蟲與米粒。如今的人類與動物的關係比過去更加緊密，業力連結也更為複雜。人們以各種方式使用甚至剝削動物，有時手段殘酷不堪。當今社會高談人權，卻常忽視動物權。與動物的關係，人類也同時製造了全球性的環境問題。】

我抵達The-inn Gu禪修中心是在緬曆Na-yone月十二日（約公曆六月），便開始修行。然而即使過了一個月，我仍無所體證。

每當我練習入出息念（ānāpānasati），隨呼吸進出，即出現苦受（dukkha vedanā）。當苦受強烈時，我便以用力呼吸來「對治」它，結果形成了慣性：只要苦受升起，就用強呼吸來排除。

指導中說，當痛苦出現時，要再次強力呼吸。但只要一離開入出息念，心就又回到苦受上。苦受若強烈到難以承受，我就必須重新建立入出息念。

有時，當禪定（jhāna）好時，便暫時超越苦受。【此處“超越”並非真正脫離苦受（vedanā），因為在五蘊（khandha）中，三受（樂、苦、不苦不樂）始終隨之一種存在。此處所謂的「脫離」，是指能夠承受、能觀照，而非滅盡。】

然而也有時候，苦受又再次壓倒心識，把心拉了下去。

那麼，尊者**The-inn Gu Sayadawgyi（U Ukkaṭṭha）**是如何教導的呢？他說：「熱、僵硬、緊繃皆是受（vedanā）；麻木也是受。對於這些感受，要如實標記為『受』。」

我必須將這些現象標記為「受」，但我那時根本不明白這是什麼意思。我也聽過其他的開示，但都一知半解。實際上，我那時對**毘婆舍那（vipassanā）**修行完全沒有概念。

【從這裡我們可見聞法與聽聞經教（pariyatti / ñāta pariññā）的重要性。尊者Candima過去雖曾與外公（也是一位長老比丘）學習過莫哥系統（Mogok Tradition），但高中期間似乎並未真正學習到什麼。

這正說明了莫哥尊者的法語對修行的重要性——它不僅能增長慧根（paññindriya），更能引導行者走在清晰正確的修行道路上。】

當時，我唯一記得的法語就是：「若你想知道自己是否已證得涅槃（或入流），就看當你接觸到眼與色時，你是否仍知見為『看到人就是人、看到狗就是狗』。若是如此，那只是『尋常知見』（概念知），並非證悟。」

我只理解這句話。至於什麼是五蘊、受蘊等，我全然不知。

「在修行中，若你看到人就知道是人，看到狗就知道是狗，那還不是證悟；若你看到人而不作人想、看到狗而不作狗想，這才是證悟。」
這一句，便成為我整個修行中的指導準繩。我靠這句法語，最終證得法眼。

後來，老師教導行者：「熱、緊、僵等皆是受，要持續觀照它們。」於是我去問老師：「尊者，請問是否應將熱、緊、僵等標記為『受』呢？」他答：「是的，應該。」

於是我開始這樣標記：「熱——是受，緊——是受，受、受……」
但當我檢查內心時，卻發現我只知道熱、緊、痛等現象，卻不知何謂『受』。也就是說，我陷入了語言與概念的網羅之中。

那時有一位照顧我的老比丘尼，名叫Daw Mittara，她自己也是一位教師（看來是教導比丘尼與在家女眾）。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

之後，我請求禪師允許我回家，看看我的父母，並請求他們同意我在此度過雨季（vassa）。（在這裡，我們可以看見禪師按照中國文化的標準，是一個好兒子或孝順的兒子。實際上，他沒有必要這樣做，但他的父母並不知道他對僧侶生活的承諾。九天的閉關結束後，他本來就會回家。）

在家鄉見過父母後，我回到了寺院。

然後，我在岱高隆（九棟建築）再次見到了那些女信徒（優婆夷）。當時，她們的尊敬和過度的信仰（saddhā）變成了渴愛（taṇhā）。我覺得她們太過分了，而且以前也不認識我。然後我去和禪師談了這件事（鄔坎帝瑪尊者沒有提到到底發生了什麼事，但他對自己的修行和僧侶生活非常謹慎）。

聽完我的話，他說：「是的，你不能繼續待在這裡。如果你繼續待在這裡，會有危險。」所以他把我送到毛比（Maw-be）的提因古禪修中心。晚上，當我坐下來禪修時，我明白了這件事背後的真相。在我的前世（似乎是較近的前世），我曾在這裡作為一名僧侶修行。當時這個地方是一片茂密的森林。（在二十世紀初的泰國，村莊和森林之間也沒有明確的界線。村莊外面就是森林。）每天托缽時，我都會留一些額外的食物給森林裡的一群貓。這群貓會來吃這些食物。因此，我與這些貓有親密的關係，因為過去的束縛（saṁyojana）延續到了今生。所以我沒有看到她們有任何過錯，就去了提因古中心修行。

（梅奇考·暹羅蘭（Mae-chi Kaaw Siamlam）的傳記中提到她前世是一隻母雞，帶著一些小雞在寺院周圍遊蕩，尋找食物、昆蟲和米粒。如今，人類比以前或以往任何時候都更接近動物。他們與各種動物建立了更多的業力聯繫；以多種方式利用動物，對動物進行大量的剝削，有時甚至以非常殘酷的方式。今天的人們談論很多關於人權的問題，並且也錯誤地使用它。他們有沒有想過動物權利？人類與動物之間在世界各地製造了許多環境問題。）

我到達了提因古，在納永月（Na-yone，大約是六月）的十二日，我開始在那裡修行，即使過了一個月，我也沒有任何體悟。吸氣和呼氣時，感受（vedanā）生起了（即苦受，dukkha vedanā），然後用力呼吸來克服苦受變成了一種修行。在指導中，當痛苦的感受生起時，會要求瑜伽行者再次用力呼吸。當它從安那般那念中解脫出來時，心又回到了苦受。當感受變得難以忍受時，我不得不重新建立安那般那念。

有時透過良好的禪那，它從感受中解脫出來（在這裡，禪師使用的語言並未表達確切的含義。良好的禪那並非真正的中止狀態，而是代表強大的定力。我們永遠無法擺脫感受，三種感受中的一種總是作為五蘊之一存在。從感受中解脫出來意味著我可以忍受它）。有時它又回到了感受（即感受將心拉回到它的位置）。

禪師尊者（Sayadawgyi）對此怎麼說呢？（即指提因古的鄔烏卡塔尊者，U Ukkaṭṭha）。他教導說：「熱、僵硬、緊繃是感受，麻木是感受，對感受要覺知它是感受」（引自鄔烏卡塔尊者的開示）。我必須將它們覺知為感受，但我並不知道。我也聽過其他的開示，但對它們一無所知。同樣地，我也不知道內觀的修行（vipassanā）。

（在這裡，我們了解學習（巴利語：pariyat 或知遍知，ñāta pariññā）的重要性。鄔坎帝瑪尊者沒有一位好的老師來指導他。他有機會向他教導莫哥禪修系統的伯公僧侶學習，但似乎他在高中時並沒有從他那裡學到任何東西。我想在這裡強調莫哥禪師的佛法開示在修行中的重要性。它不僅幫助我們發展智慧，也引導我們走向清晰的修行方向。）

我只記得一句佛法，那就是你想知道自己是否開悟。（即入流果的狀態——sotāpanna）——「透過眼根和色塵（rūpa）的接觸，如果你知道它們是看到一個人，並知道那是一個人；看到一隻狗，並知道那是一隻狗等等。這些都是正常的認知（透過概念認知），你沒有任何體悟。」

我只理解了這一個。其他的像是五蘊等等，我對它們一無所知。「在修行中，正常地看見人，並知道是人；看見狗，並知道是狗；這還不是體悟；但是如果你看見人，卻不認為是人；看見狗，卻不認為是狗，那就是體悟了。」我只知道這一個，這對我來說是一本修行的手冊。現在我已經以這一個作為我的手冊證悟了佛法。

老師們教導學生說——「將熱、僵硬和緊繃覺知為感受，並繼續觀察它們。」然後我去問我的老師：「尊者，我應該將熱、僵硬、緊繃覺知為感受嗎？」他對我說：「是的，就是這樣。」然後我將它們覺知為——熱是感受，僵硬是感受，感受，感受等等。當我檢查時，我只知道熱、僵硬和疼痛，但不知道感受（即迷失在文字和概念中）。有一位照顧我的老尼姑，她的名字叫杜蜜達拉（Daw Mittara），她自己也是一位老師（似乎是教導尼姑和女信徒）。

At night, I went to ask her my problem. Then I asked her; “Sayalay, when I practice, note the hotness, stiffness, and tenseness as vedanās, but I don’t know about vedanā. I only know hotness, stiffness, and aches only. How should I practice knowing vedanā?” (Sayadaw did not continue to talk about how the Mae-chee Daw Mittara responded to him. He stopped here. I guess Daw Mittara would answer the same as his teacher had said before. Sayalay is the Burmese word for teacher and is the name given to nuns by monks and lay alike.)

Upāsakas and Upāsikās, you have to listen to this talk with wisdom ear to learn from a person who didn’t know about the practice. I was noting the hotness, stiffness etc., but I didn’t know about vedanā. I myself was a science student before—so— How to practice it?, How to note it?, What is the reason for it?, What cause leads to what result? I could only practice by having references and evidence.

For example, in geometry (a type of mathematics)—two triangles are equal, in this case you have to prove it. I had the genetics of science with me (beja). I myself had the habit of saying and doing things according to the truth. If it means nothing to me; even if it's a step, I won't do it. Now I don't know why the heat, stiffness, etc. are considered "vedanā", which makes me feel unsatisfied. So I asked Sayadaw; “Ven. Sir, I note hotness, stiffness as vedanā, but I don’t know about vedanā. How do I contemplate it?” Sayadaw’s reply was; “Ven. If you have hot, cold, and stiffness, it’s pleasant or unpleasant?” “It’s unpleasant, Ven. Sir” “In this case you have to note it as dukkha.” “Did it happen on its own, or did you do it? “It happens by itself, sir.” “Then you note it as anatta—not-self. Are these natures permanent or impermanent?” “It’s impermanent Sir.” “Then it’s not permanent, you note it as anicca—inconstant.” I thought as I had the method, and practiced it again.

(All these instructions were according to Buddha teachings, but the knowing, and the reality were not in accordance with the Dhamma, so it only became concepts).

Before vedanā arising I practiced ānāpānasati, and when vedanā arose as an example—hotness arising from its nature, and I recited it as anatta, anatta, etc. So my mind became tired. When I looked it back, hotness is only known as hotness. I didn’t know it as anatta, and only the reciting of anatta existed.

The instructor of meditation (kammaṭṭhāna-ācariya) had to give the instruction suitable to the character of the student, and not taking everyone as the same. People had different knowledge (ñāṇa). This was the most important in giving instruction. The teacher must give guidance appropriate to the practitioner's shallow or deep knowledge, and his scope, and perspective. I wanted to know the nature of cause, and effect. The teacher gave me instruction as usual (i.e., fixed formula) that the giver, and the receiver were not in accordance with its nature. It was only reciting as anatta, but I couldn’t bear the pain and aches; because I couldn’t bear the hotness, pain and aches that the mind suffered—So I was reciting it dukkha, dukkha, etc. It was only reciting, and still in suffering. It did not disappear, and also not knowing as vedanā. From hotness, it changed to stiffness, so I noted it as anicca; once noting the stiffness, it also changed. I noted it as anatta, anicca, and recited as dukkha, but I was only knowing of not wanting the pains, and aches.

Anicca, dukkha and anatta knowledges did not arise and only knowing it as unpleasant. For a week I was practicing days and nights, the practice was not developed enough that it made me disappointed. It was also not right. Therefore, I went to ask the meditation teacher U Nandobasa. It was not easy to ask him, because there were many people there. He could shave head hair, so I had to wait until my hair was long enough.

Only shaving the hair, I approached him friendly, and asked my question. “Ven. Sir; I am noting the hotness, stiffness, and tenseness, but don’t know vedanā. To the nature of the element, I know only unpleasantness. How should I practice knowing vedanā, and without unpleasantness?” His answer was ; “Friend, if hotness, stiffness, and tenseness arise, it has to be noted as vedanā”

(Friend is the Pāḷi of āvuso—in Burmese—Kodaw. Here we can see the system or method of practice with no clear explanation about the system. Later we will see when U Chandima became a teacher himself he explained his teaching very clearly about the three trainings of sīla, samādhi and paññā. If we study Mogok Sayadaw’s talks we also understand the importance of the teacher, and ñāta pariññā before the practice.)

“I myself have practiced like this, and noting is useless for me; but I’ll note it again.” So I continued the practice with noting. Noting was one thing, and the experience (i.e., feeling of dukkha vedanā) was another thing, only knowing the unpleasantness, and not led to wisdom (paññā). I was practicing for over a month now, my skin was burning, and my bottom was with injuries.

[ Here we can see the seriousness of his effort in practice, similar to the great yogis of the past. It mentioned the following incident in Tibetan yogi Milaripa’s biography. Once one of his disciples had to leave him, so he sent his disciple on a journey. When it was time to leave and say goodbye, the disciples asked him to give a short teaching. Milaripa turned his back towards him, and bending his body a little, and lifted his sabong (i.e., lower clothes), and showed his bottom to him. It looked like a hard rock dark with hard flesh, and skin—an excellent meditation teaching.

There was also a famous Japanese Zen Master Ban-Kai whose well known teaching was “UNBORN”. One time he stayed in a cave, and did a lot of long sittings that his bottom skin was worn out with blood. (18^th or 19^th century). Long hours of sitting without a proper samādhi is a difficulty to do. Ajahn Mahā Bua also did long night sitting, from evening to morning without change. His intention was to understand dukkha vedanā, and how much he could bear it. According to him if someone overcomes it however strong dukkha vedanā arises not a problem at all—especially at near death, and dying. Some western Buddhists look down on Mahāsi system of noting method in the satipaṭṭhāna sutta—this is developing vipassanā samādhi. When it is developed, one can bear the dukkha vedanā. In southern Burma, Mon state, Mu-don town there was a well known teacher called Taw-koo Sayadaw, and his teaching was Mahāsi system, but the differences between them was in sitting. He encouraged sitting for long periods of time, and some people could sit for six hours, 8 hours or 12 hours at a time with this noting method. Sayadaw himself was an example, including some of his close disciples. Without strong samādhi and insight, nobody can sit that long. Once I was in a Thai forest monastery a monk named Ajahn Tong after the evening pūja seven to 8 p.m., he went into jhāna state, and came out at four a.m. exactly by himself before the morning bell rung for the morning pūja. ]

夜裡，我去請教**Daw Mittara sayalay（比丘尼老師）**我的問題。我問她：「Sayalay，我在修行時，把熱、僵硬、緊繃記錄為受（vedanā），但我對『受』沒有概念，我只知道熱、僵、疼，並不清楚什麼是『受』。那我應該怎麼修行，才能真正知道『受』呢？」

（尊者沒有繼續描述這位比丘尼如何回應，我猜她的回答應與他的禪師所說的類似。Sayalay是緬甸語中對女修道者、比丘尼的敬稱，僧人與居士皆如此稱呼。）

諸位優婆塞（upāsaka）與優婆夷（upāsikā），你們應當以智慧之耳聽我這段開示，學習一個曾經對修行一無所知之人的歷程。

當時我雖然在觀熱、僵硬等等，但我並不知道什麼是真正的「受」。我自己本來是學理科出身的——所以我會思考：怎麼修？怎麼記錄？背後原理是什麼？什麼因導致什麼果？

我只能接受有依據、有證明的事實來修行。
比如在幾何學（數學的一種）中，若要證明兩個三角形相等，必須有可被驗證的證明方法。我的心性中帶有這種科學思維的基因（beja），我習慣於依真理說話、行事。若某事對我無意義，哪怕只是一小步，我也不會做。

但現在我不明白，為什麼熱、僵硬等狀態會被稱為「受」？這讓我心中不滿與不安。於是我去問禪師：「尊者，我觀熱、僵硬作為受，但我不理解什麼是『受』。該如何觀受？」

尊者回答我：「你感覺熱、冷與僵硬時，是舒服還是不舒服？」
我答：「是不舒服，尊者。」
「那你就記為苦（dukkha）。」

「這些苦，是你自己製造出來的，還是它們自己生起的？」
「是它們自己發生的，尊者。」
「那你就記它為無我（anatta）。那麼這些現象是常還是無常的？」
「是無常的，尊者。」
「那你就記它為無常（anicca）。」

我想：現在我有方法了，於是再次投入修行。

（以上這些指導雖然符合佛陀的教導，但我的體驗與法的真實性仍無法相應，因而這一切仍然停留在概念層次。）

我在苦受尚未生起時練習入出息念，當苦受如熱感出現時，我便開始默念「無我、無我……」。結果我的心疲憊不堪。

回頭看，我所知道的，只是「熱就是熱」，我根本沒有真正「知道」那是無我，只是在不斷默念無我而已。

其實，禪修指導師（kammaṭṭhāna-ācariya）應當根據行者的根機與特性給予調整過的教導，而不該一體適用。人與人之間有不同程度的知見（ñāṇa），這是給予指導時最關鍵的原則。

老師應觀察行者知見深淺、心量、理解角度，給予合適指導。但我渴望理解因果的真實本質，老師卻依然給我既定的套公式教法，這使得施教者與受教者之間未能相應法性。

結果，我只是默念「無我」，但仍無法忍受熱、痛與僵硬。我的心仍在受苦——只是以語言念「苦、苦……」而已，但苦受並未消失，我也仍未真正「知道」它是受（vedanā）。

熱感轉變為僵硬，我記為無常；僵硬再轉變，我記為無我、無常，再默念「苦」，但其實我只是知道「我不想要這些痛苦」而已。

**無常、苦、無我的智慧未曾現起，**我僅僅只是「感覺它不舒服」而已。

這樣日夜苦修了一週，修行進展甚微，讓我極為失望。我知道這方法對我並不適合。

於是，我決定去請問另一位禪修老師——U Nandobasa尊者。但要請教他並不容易，因為那裡人很多。他也負責替出家人剃頭，所以我必須等自己的頭髮長長一點，才有機會接近他。

終於在剃髮時，我以親切的方式請問他：「尊者，我觀察熱、僵硬與緊繃等，但仍不知何謂『受』。我所接觸的只是元素的性質，僅止於『不好受』。我應如何修行，才能真正認識『受』，而不是僅僅知道它不舒服呢？」

他回答說：「朋友，當熱、僵硬與緊繃出現時，就要記作『受』（vedanā）。」

（這裡的「朋友」是巴利語āvuso，緬語稱作Kodaw，表現出一種平等對談的語氣。但從這裡也可以看出，這套修行方法的說明並不清楚，教法與原理未能解釋透徹。）

【後來當U Candima尊者自己成為導師時，他在教導中對戒、定、慧三學的修行非常清晰明確。若我們深入聆聽莫哥尊者的法語，也會理解：**修行前的聞法（ñāta pariññā）至關重要。】

我心想：「我已經依這方法修行一段時間了，若只是這樣記錄，那對我沒什麼用；但我還是會再試一次。」

於是我繼續以「標記」方式修行。
然而，標記是一回事，內心實際的體驗（如苦受）又是另一回事。
我只能知道「它不好受」，但這並未生起智慧（paññā）。

此時，我的修行已超過一個月。皮膚開始灼熱、臀部已經磨損破皮。

【我們可以從這裡看到他修行的真誠與毅力，堪比歷代大修行者。這讓我想起藏傳瑜伽士**密勒日巴（Milarepa）**傳記中的一段記載：

有一次，他的弟子將要遠行，臨別前請求密勒日巴給他最後的開示。密勒日巴轉過身去，稍微彎下腰，掀起下身的袈裟，露出他的臀部——那裡已被長年坐禪磨得堅硬如石、黝黑且厚實——這就是他最精要的開示。】

日本有位著名禪師盤珪（Ban-Kai），以「不生（Unborn）」為核心教法。他曾獨自在山洞中長期坐禪，臀部皮膚因長時間坐禪流血破損。（約18、19世紀）

長時間靜坐若無堅固的禪定力（samādhi），幾乎難以達成。

泰國的阿姜布瓦（Ajahn Mahā Bua）也曾從黃昏坐至清晨不動。其目的是深入體會苦受（dukkha vedanā），觀察自己能承受多少。他曾說：若能突破此關，無論死亡時遭遇多劇烈的苦受，都能安然面對。

有些西方佛教徒曾輕視**馬哈希系統（Mahāsi tradition）的標記方法，但這其實正是培養毘婆舍那禪定（vipassanā samādhi）**的方式。一旦禪定成熟，行者便能承受強烈的苦受。

在緬甸南部孟邦（Mon State）Mu-don鎮有位知名禪師Taw-koo Sayadaw，他所教導的亦是馬哈希系統，但其特色在於鼓勵長時間靜坐。有些行者甚至能坐六小時、八小時，乃至十二小時。

尊者本人就是一個例子，他的親近弟子們亦如是。若無強大的定力與觀智，是絕無可能如此靜坐的。

我曾在泰國森林道場見到一位比丘Ajahn Tong，晚上七點誦經結束後，他即入**禪那（jhāna）**狀態，一直坐到凌晨四點，正好在早課鐘響前自動出定。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

晚上，我去找她請教我的問題。然後我問她：「莎耶蕾，我修行時，將熱、僵硬和緊繃覺知為感受，但我不知道什麼是感受。我只知道熱、僵硬和疼痛。我應該如何修行才能知道感受呢？」（禪師沒有繼續說梅奇杜蜜達拉如何回答他，他在此停住了。我猜杜蜜達拉會像他之前的老師一樣回答。莎耶蕾是緬甸語中對老師的稱呼，僧侶和在家眾都用這個名字稱呼尼師。）

優婆塞和優婆夷們，你們必須以智慧的耳朵聆聽這次開示，向一位曾經不知道如何修行的人學習。我當時覺知著熱、僵硬等等，但我不知道什麼是感受。我以前是個理科學生——所以——如何修行？如何覺知？它的原因是什麼？什麼因導致什麼果？我只能透過參考和證據來修行。

例如，在幾何學（一種數學）中——兩個三角形相等，在這種情況下你必須證明它。我身上帶著科學的基因（beja）。我自己習慣於根據事實說話和做事。如果對我沒有意義；即使只是一步，我也不會去做。現在我不知道為什麼熱、僵硬等等被認為是「感受」，這讓我感到不滿意。所以我問禪師：「尊者，我將熱、僵硬覺知為感受，但我不知道什麼是感受。我該如何觀照它呢？」禪師回答說：「尊者，如果你有熱、冷和僵硬，那是令人愉悅還是不愉悅的？」「是不愉悅的，尊者。」「在這種情況下，你必須將它覺知為苦。」「它是自己發生的，還是你做的？」「是自己發生的，尊者。」「那麼你將它覺知為無我——不是自我。這些性質是恆常的還是無常的？」「是無常的，尊者。」「那麼它不是恆常的，你將它覺知為無常——anicca。」我心想我有了方法，然後再次修行。

（所有這些指導都符合佛陀的教導，但認知和實相並不符合佛法，所以它只變成了概念。）

在感受生起之前，我修習安那般那念，當感受作為一個例子生起時——熱從其本性生起，我念誦它是無我、無我等等。所以我的心變得疲憊。當我回頭看時，熱只被知道是熱。我不知道它是無我，只有念誦無我的存在。

禪修指導老師（kammaṭṭhāna-ācariya）必須給予適合學生性格的指導，而不是將所有人都視為一樣。人們有不同的智慧（ñāṇa）。這是給予指導時最重要的。老師必須給予適合修行者淺薄或深厚的知識、他的範圍和觀點的指導。我想知道因果的本性。老師像往常一樣給我指導（即固定的公式），說給予者和接受者都不符合其本性。只是念誦無我，但我無法忍受疼痛；因為我無法忍受心所受的熱、痛和酸痛——所以我念誦它是苦、苦等等。只是念誦，仍然在痛苦中。它沒有消失，也沒有被知道是感受。從熱變成了僵硬，所以我將它覺知為無常；一旦覺知到僵硬，它也改變了。我將它覺知為無我、無常，並念誦它是苦，但我只知道不想感受疼痛和酸痛。

無常、苦、無我的智慧沒有生起，只知道它是不愉悅的。一個星期以來，我日夜修行，但修行沒有足夠的進展，這讓我感到失望。這也是不對的。因此，我去請教禪修老師鄔南陀巴薩（U Nandobasa）。問他並不容易，因為那裡有很多人。他可以剃頭，所以我必須等到頭髮長到足夠長。

只有剃了頭髮，我才友好地接近他，並問了我的問題。「尊者，我覺知著熱、僵硬和緊繃，但不知道什麼是感受。就元素的本性而言，我只知道不愉悅。我應該如何修行才能知道感受，並且沒有不愉悅呢？」他的回答是：「朋友，如果熱、僵硬和緊繃生起，就必須將它覺知為感受。」

（朋友是巴利語 āvuso 的緬甸語——Kodaw。在這裡，我們可以看見這種修行體系或方法沒有對體系做出清晰的解釋。稍後我們會看到，當鄔占帝瑪自己成為老師時，他非常清楚地解釋了他關於戒、定、慧三學的教導。如果我們研究莫哥禪師的開示，我們也會理解老師和修行前具備知遍知的重要性。）

「我自己就是這樣修行的，覺知對我來說毫無用處；但我會再次覺知。」所以我繼續以覺知的方式修行。覺知是一回事，而體驗（即苦受的感受）是另一回事，只知道不愉悅，而沒有導向智慧（paññā）。我已經修行一個多月了，我的皮膚被燒傷了，我的臀部也受了傷。

[在這裡，我們可以看見他修行努力的認真，類似於過去偉大的瑜伽行者。西藏瑜伽行者密勒日巴的傳記中提到了以下事件。有一次他的一位弟子必須離開他，所以他派他的弟子去旅行。到了要離開說再見的時候，弟子請求他給予簡短的教導。密勒日巴轉過身背對著他，稍微彎下腰，掀起他的沙龍（即下身的衣服），並向他展示了他的臀部。它看起來像一塊堅硬的岩石，深色的硬肉和皮膚——一個極好的禪修教導。

還有一位著名的日本禪師盤珪，他著名的教導是「不生」。有一次他住在一個洞穴裡，做了很多長時間的靜坐，以至於他的臀部皮膚磨破出血。（十八或十九世紀）。沒有適當的三摩地，長時間的靜坐是很難做到的。阿姜摩訶布瓦也曾整夜靜坐，從傍晚到早晨不改變姿勢。他的目的是了解苦受，以及他能忍受多少。根據他的說法，如果有人克服了它，無論多麼強烈的苦受生起，都不會是問題——尤其是在臨終和死亡時。一些西方佛教徒看不起馬哈希系統在念住經中的覺知方法——這是在發展毗婆舍那三摩地。當它發展起來時，一個人就能夠忍受苦受。在緬甸南部孟邦木冬鎮，有一位著名的老師叫陶固禪師，他的教導是馬哈希系統，但他們之間的區別在於靜坐。他鼓勵長時間的靜坐，有些人可以一次靜坐六小時、八小時或十二小時，使用這種覺知方法。禪師本人就是一個例子，包括他的一些親近弟子。沒有強大的三摩地和智慧，沒有人能坐那麼久。有一次我在泰國的一座森林寺院，一位名叫阿姜通的僧侶在晚上七點到八點的晚課後進入禪那狀態，並在早上晨鐘響起前正好在四點自己出來。]

From the morning 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. was one sitting, and from midday to 5 p.m. was another long sitting. At 7 p.m., we had to do the evening pūja. I went to see Sayadaw and told him; “Sayadaw I don’t want to attend the pūja. I don’t have enough time for practice.” So Sayadaw designated a place in a sīmā for me to do my practice. He also gave other monks permission if they wanted to do the practice.

From then onwards from midday 12 p.m. to nighttime 7 p.m. I did one sitting. I desired for the Dhamma, and no need to reduce the price like in business. Most people (in most centers) did the sitting for an hour only. They thought that one hour was enough; however, what was the use of just one hour? I was wishing for the Dhamma that I had to sit for to attain it. If you didn’t succeed, then it was only wasting the time with the numbers of sitting. (This reflection is important for young serious yogis—man or woman) “I must practice to attain”, and with the desired mind (chanda) I did my practice.

(In one of Mogok Talks—it mentioned yogis should practice with saṁvega, chanda, and māna for attaining of Dhamma)

The practice and progress did not match, and all that remained was pain and soreness every day. It took me a long time, but I didn't find the way out. I tried to run away from vedanā with only a short time, and fell back into it. Only with ānāpāna practice, I freed myself from it; and without it, I became unpleasant again. I was not freed from dukkha. How should I practice this Dhamma? And then I was praying for the Buddha.

I could not rely on my teacher; so I prayed to the Buddha, but he did not teach me. I was afraid of the four woeful existences (apāya). Fear of ageing, sickness, and death sufferings was also this mind. The female boss Visākhā, and Anāthapiṇḍika boss became stream winners (sotāpanna), and enjoyed the sensual pleasure in havens, they were also in this mind. This mind was changing in various ways to express its nature—which I became understanding of. It was arriving at insight. When doing the practice, I didn’t get what one’s desire was, and thinking as follows.

In the past, arahants attained absorption (jhānas), before I also had attained jhānas. Attaining of jhānas must be arahant. Therefore, I practiced ānāpāna up to jhāna levels, after attaining it I went up to the sky as before, and came down again. I was playing jhāna in different ways, after that I was opening my eyes, and when seeing a nun, and only knowing as a nun. In this case, if seeing man, and knowing as man, seeing dog, and still knowing as dog, then my practice was not attaining the Dhamma Nibbāna) yet. I deviated from it, so what should I do to achieve Dhamma? I didn’t see the trace of the path because I didn’t get the good method and the right way. Therefore, I myself teach you with guarantee with the right method, and right way. I am concerned for you not to happen the same as me. I am teaching you with this kind of saddhā.

I was practicing until my buttocks were like falling apart with the skin falling out. After the sitting, if I got up my buttocks, and robe were sticking together.

I had to use my spittle to separate it. I was practicing without getting up, and also not thinking of getting up. Attaining Jhānas also was not arahant yet.

Was it an arahant by seeing things? (i.e., divine eye). In this case I must establish the vision, and I practiced for it, and attaining the light element (dhātu) or the clear element. With this, I was looking at celestial beings, and their heavenly mansions, forests, mountains, clouds; and on earth, seeing living beings, worms with different shapes and forms. Then I became an arahant and opened my eyes in seeing man, and dog only knowing as man, and dog.

Before the practice when seeing man, and dog it was only knowing as man and dog. After the practice it was not making by oneself only with the internal normal mind, and looking at also still seeing, and knowing man as man, dog as dog. This was still not the Dhamma. Then what were the other ways? I was looking at things which were appeared by itself. With this mind it was purified. I would control the mind to be calm. With a lot of control, the mind became calm down, and ceased in a blip. The life continuum mind (bhavaṅga citta) vibrated, and the clear element went out with light. Its clear element was another kind. The light element came from ānāpānasati was a different kind—which encountered, and seen things randomly. The light element now was appearing with brightness when I wanted to see anything, and it was like looking at things with a torchlight.

Now, I was practicing at Maw-be, and my parents were at Pe-gu. I wanted to look at my father, and mother there, and when I looked there, and also saw them. (the mind did not go there as most people thought, it was only inclining towards that direction).

What were they doing at that time? Father was in the kitchen, and roasting dry fish to eat, and after that he was looking for the oil bottle. I was seeing it as like opening my eyes. He couldn’t find it, so he asked my mother; “Ma Khin Mya! Where is the oil bottle. I heard his voices like using an ear-phone small, and clear voice. Mother replied as; “It’s at the corner of the food cupboard.” Father took the oil bottle from the corner of the food cupboard, and looked inside to see there was only a little bit of oil. He was angry, and scolding mother as; “The oil is near finished, and why don’t you buy, and fill it again?” All these things I saw, and heard from my place.

Now, I knew things which I wanted to know, see and hear, so I thought I was to become an arahant. I still didn’t know about stream enterer, once-returner and non-returner. I thought attainment of Dhamma was arahant, if became arahant must attain Nibbāna (i.e., unborn). When a nun came, and looked at her only knowing as a nun. When looking at a monk, and only knowing as a monk. When looking at man, and only knew as man.

Oh! My view has not changed. My practice seemed to be wrong. You had to destroy these practices. It was very valuable by hearing a sage’s word of Sayadawgyi (i.e., referred to The-inn Gu Sayadaw).

從早上六點到十點是一支坐禪，從中午到下午五點是另一支長坐。晚上七點要參加晚課。我去見尊者（禪師），告訴他：「尊者，我不想參加晚課，我沒有足夠時間修行。」於是尊者在**戒場（sīmā）**內為我指定一個地點讓我修行，並允許其他比丘若想修行也可以這麼做。

從那時起，我便從中午十二點一直坐到晚上七點，一支不動。我渴望佛法，不需要像做買賣一樣講價。大多數人在道場裡只坐一小時，他們認為一小時足夠了；但我心想：只坐一小時有何用？我發願為得法而坐。若修不成，只是堆積數量，虛耗時間而已。（這段對年輕而認真修行的行者男女都極有啟發意義）

「我必須修行直至證得！」我便以「欲求之心（chanda）」專心修行。

（在莫哥尊者的一場開示中說到，行者修法應具備：悲愴心（saṁvega）、欲求心（chanda）、志氣心（māna），方能證得佛法。）

但我的修行與進展並不相符，每天所剩下的只有痛楚與痠麻。過了很久，我仍找不到出路。我試圖從受（vedanā）中逃離，僅能短暫逃脫，又很快被拖回去。只有在**入出息念（ānāpānasati）**中，我才能暫時解脫；一旦離開，它又令人不適。我始終未能離苦。我不禁思索：「我該怎麼修這法呢？」

於是我開始向佛陀祈求。

我無法再倚靠老師，便祈求佛陀，但佛陀並未直接教導我。我害怕四惡趣（apāya），也懼怕老病死的痛苦——這一切都是「這個心」的狀態。女長者毘舍佉（Visākhā）與長者給孤獨（Anāthapiṇḍika）雖證入初果聖者（sotāpanna），也享受欲天的快樂，他們也是依靠這個心。這顆心會變化萬端，展現種種本質——而我對此開始產生體悟。

修行時我無法如願得證，心中便生出如下念頭：

過去的阿羅漢們都曾證得禪那（jhāna），我從前也曾得禪那，證得禪那應當就是阿羅漢吧？

於是我以入出息念修至禪那境，達成之後，我如同從前一般升入虛空、再降回地面。我開始以各種方式**「遊戲於禪那」。但當我睜開眼睛，看見一位比丘尼時，只是「知道她是比丘尼」。如此一來，若看見男人便知是男人、看見狗便知是狗，那我的修行顯然尚未證入佛法（涅槃）**。

我偏離正道了，那我該怎麼做才能得法？我未見正道的痕跡，因為我未得正法與正道的引導。

因此，今天我才會以保證之心來教導你們「正確的方法與正道」，是為了讓你們不必重蹈我的覆轍。我以這種信心與誠意來教導你們。

我修行至臀部如同裂開，皮膚脫落。每次打坐後若起身，臀部與袈裟黏在一起，得用自己的唾液將它分開。我在坐中毫無起身之念，也未曾思索起身之事。

即使證得禪那，仍非阿羅漢；那麼若是能見異境，是否便是阿羅漢？我思忖：那我應當證得某種「觀見力（視智）」，於是我修行至得一種「光明元素（dhātu）」或稱「清淨元素」。

以此，我能看見諸天眾生、天宮樓閣、山林雲嶺；在人間，亦見諸有情、蠕動眾生，形形色色。我當時心想：「這樣我已是阿羅漢了。」

睜開眼，看見人就知是人，狗就是狗。但這種見解，與未修行前其實毫無兩樣：以前看到人，就是知道是人；現在即使修行後，內心仍是平常知見，只是「知道是人、知道是狗」，這並非佛法的證悟。

那麼，我該怎麼辦呢？

我開始觀察那些自行顯現的境相，令內心清淨。當我努力制心，使其安住時，心逐漸靜下來，最後於剎那間止息。此時「有分心（bhavaṅga citta）」震動，清淨之光顯現而出。

但這光元素與入出息念中的光相（nimitta）不同。前者像是隨機遇見、浮現景象；而此刻顯現的光，是當我想看某事時，如用手電筒照見一般，極為明晰。

那時我住在茂比（Maw-be）道場，父母在勃固（Pe-gu）。我起心想要看看他們。當我向那邊觀去，便見其境。

（這不是像人們所誤以為的「心飛過去」，而是心傾向該處，以知覺呈現其境。）

我看到他們正在做什麼？父親在廚房烤魚乾，烤完後找油瓶。畫面彷如親眼所見。

他找不到，便問母親：「欽妙啊（Ma Khin Mya）！油瓶放哪裡了？」

我如戴耳機一般聽得清楚細微。母親回答：「在食物櫃角落那裡。」

父親從櫃角拿出油瓶，看到裡面所剩無幾，就生氣，責怪母親：「油快沒了，你為何不補一瓶？」

我在遠方清清楚楚看見、聽見這一切。

如今我能知道、能見、能聞我所想知之事，便心想：「我大概已是阿羅漢了吧？」

但我仍不知入流者（sotāpanna）、一來（sakadāgāmi）與不還（anāgāmi）是什麼。我以為：得法者即是阿羅漢，成為阿羅漢即證涅槃（無生）。

但我看比丘尼時仍只是知為比丘尼；看比丘亦然；看人只知是人。

喔！我的見解根本沒改變。

那麼我的修行肯定錯誤了。

這些修法都必須捨棄。

聽聞尊者（指The-inn Gu Sayadaw）的一句智者之語，其價值是無比寶貴的。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

早上六點到十點是一次靜坐，中午到下午五點是另一次長時間的靜坐。晚上七點，我們必須做晚課（pūja）。我去見禪師，對他說：「禪師，我不想參加晚課。我沒有足夠的時間修行。」所以禪師在戒壇（sīmā）裡為我指定了一個地方修行。如果其他僧侶也想修行，他也允許他們。

從那時起，我從中午十二點到晚上七點做一次靜坐。我渴望佛法，不需要像做生意那樣降價。大多數人（在大多數中心）只坐一個小時。他們認為一個小時就夠了；然而，僅僅一個小時有什麼用呢？我渴望佛法，必須坐禪才能證得它。如果你沒有成功，那麼只是浪費時間在計算坐禪的次數。（這種反思對年輕認真的男女瑜伽行者很重要）「我必須修行才能證得」，帶著渴望的心（chanda），我進行了我的修行。

（在莫哥禪師的一次開示中——提到瑜伽行者應該以厭離心（saṁvega）、欲（chanda）和慢（māna）來修行，以證得佛法）

修行和進展並不一致，每天剩下的只有疼痛和痠痛。我花了很長時間，但沒有找到出路。我試圖短時間逃離感受，但又回到了其中。只有透過安那般那的修行，我才從中解脫出來；沒有它，我又變得不愉快。我沒有從苦中解脫出來。我應該如何修習這個佛法呢？然後我向佛陀祈禱。

我無法依賴我的老師；所以我向佛陀祈禱，但他沒有教我。我害怕四惡趣（apāya）。對衰老、疾病和死亡痛苦的恐懼也是這個心。女施主毘舍佉（Visākhā）和給孤獨長者（Anāthapiṇḍika）證得了初果（sotāpanna），並在天界享受感官的快樂，他們也在這個心中。這個心以各種方式變化來表達它的本性——我開始理解這一點。這就是達到內觀。修行時，我沒有得到自己想要的東西，並思考如下。

過去，阿羅漢證得了禪那（jhānas），之前我也曾證得禪那。證得禪那一定是阿羅漢。因此，我修習安那般那直到禪那的層次，證得後，我像以前一樣升到空中，然後又下來。我以不同的方式玩弄禪那，之後我睜開眼睛，看到一位比丘尼，只知道是一位比丘尼。在這種情況下，如果看到男人，只知道是男人；看到狗，仍然只知道是狗，那麼我的修行還沒有證得涅槃。我偏離了正道，那麼我該怎麼做才能證得佛法呢？我沒有看到道的痕跡，因為我沒有得到好的方法和正確的道路。因此，我自己以正確的方法和正確的道路向你們保證地教導。我擔心你們會發生和我一樣的事情。我以這種信心（saddhā）教導你們。

我一直修行到我的臀部好像要裂開一樣，皮膚都脫落了。坐禪後，如果我站起來，我的臀部和僧袍都黏在一起了。

我必須用唾沫把它們分開。我一直修行，沒有起身，也沒有想過要起身。證得禪那也還不是阿羅漢。

透過看見事物（即天眼）就能成為阿羅漢嗎？在這種情況下，我必須建立這種視覺，我為此修行，並證得了光元素（dhātu）或清明元素。藉此，我看到了天人及其天上的宮殿、森林、山脈、雲朵；在地球上，看到了眾生、不同形狀和形式的蠕蟲。然後我成為了一位阿羅漢，睜開眼睛看見男人和狗，只知道是男人和狗。

修行之前，看見男人和狗只知道是男人和狗。修行之後，這不是自己製造的，只是內在正常的意識，看著仍然看見，知道男人是男人，狗是狗。這仍然不是佛法。那麼還有其他方法嗎？我觀察那些自己顯現的事物。藉著這個心，它被淨化了。我會控制心使其平靜。經過大量的控制，心平靜下來，並在一瞬間停止了。生命流的意識（bhavaṅga citta）振動了，清明元素帶著光芒出去了。它的清明元素是另一種。從安那般那念而來的光元素是不同的一種——它隨機地遇到和看見事物。現在，當我想看任何東西時，光元素會帶著光亮顯現出來，就像用手電筒看東西一樣。

現在，我在毛比修行，我的父母在卑固。我想看看在那裡的父親和母親，當我看過去時，也看到了他們。（心並沒有像大多數人認為的那樣過去，它只是傾向那個方向）。

他們當時在做什麼呢？父親在廚房裡烤乾魚吃，之後他在找油瓶。我看到這一切就像睜開眼睛一樣。他找不到，就問母親：「瑪欽米亞！油瓶在哪裡？」我聽到他的聲音像用耳機一樣，小而清晰。母親回答說：「在食品櫃的角落。」父親從食品櫃的角落拿了油瓶，往裡面看，發現只有一點點油了。他很生氣，責罵母親說：「油快用完了，你為什麼不買來再裝滿呢？」所有這些事情我都在我的地方看見和聽見了。

現在，我知道我想知道、看見和聽見的事情，所以我認為我將成為一位阿羅漢。我仍然不知道什麼是入流者、一來者和不還者。我認為證得佛法就是成為阿羅漢，如果成為阿羅漢就必須證得涅槃（即不生）。當一位比丘尼來時，看著她只知道是一位比丘尼。當看著一位比丘時，只知道是一位比丘。當看著男人時，只知道是男人。

哦！我的見解沒有改變。我的修行似乎是錯的。你必須摧毀這些修行。聽到聖者提因古禪師的話非常有價值。

If Sayadawgyi did not mention, I could take pleasure in visions, and hearings (i.e., divine eye and ear), it would be wrong. I would take them as real, and it took me moving with it. Now I have arrived at the top with a noble word of a Sage. I want you all to get this kind of general knowledge.

[The divine eye, knowledge of past lives, jhānas and abhiññā—intuitive power, psychic power, etc., are arguably the highest secular knowledge. If people reach that goal, they mostly get lost in it. Soon Loon Sayadaw acquired these things even while he was still a lay man who practiced ānāpānasati. He mentioned it as follows—

“Loki (i.e., highly worldly knowledge as mentioned above) is very good indeed. I am very lucky that I can cross to the other shore (i.e., Nibbāna), if not I am sinking in these worldly knowledge.”

Here we can see U Chandima’s wisdom character. He easily gave up on them. His search was not these unstable things—a noble search, which was Nibbāna. Nothing is worthy of clinging.]

Which one was Dhamma? (I was in the state of looking for the Dhamma, and still not found it yet. Arahants could separate many bodies. Could it be that the Dhamma is able to separate the body? I was separating the mind from the body. I attained them by creation. In sitting, a body was separated out in a blip, and it went away from me with each step. (This kind of experience is confusing, and misunderstanding people as a soul goes out from a body. Not only scientists believe it, even Buddhist monks. Some Mahāyanist interpret it as a soul by seeing someone in a hypnotic state have this kind of experience.)

At that time I was thirsty for water. The mind of wanting to drink water arose, and I must go and drink water, but without getting up to drink it. With a lot of exercises, this body went out step by step slowly. This body opened the lid of the water pot, and held the cup, took the water inside and drank it. Ah! It cooled up my chest. This body (form) returned to the sitting place and ceased, the mind and the sitting body combined again.

[Here, most people treat the body as the atta—self and also the mind (as the atta). If no Buddha had appeared, all living beings would treat it as the same.] How thick and deep is self view in beings? The Buddha gave each analogy to the five khandhas, and for the mind-consciousness as a magician. All beings are playing tricks by this mind. We create all sorts of problems, and sufferings for oneself, and others. We should have disillusionment, and disenchantment for the mind.)

I could separate a body, and it was quite significant. It seemed I became an arahant, so I was opening my eyes to look at people: seeing man and dog still in the level of knowing as man, and dog. It was the same view as before the practice, and not significant at all. In this case, I still have not attained the Dhamma yet. Which one was the best way of practice?

My desire for Dhamma was very strong. A man who was hungry, and tired came back home from a far journey. When he was very tired, and hungry even only had rice, and salt he had the strong desire to eat it. I had a very strong desire for the Dhamma, but I didn’t get the good method and system.

I thought I could get the Dhamma with a normal eye, so I opened my eyes and looked at people in front of me (don’t forget he was in the center), then closed my eyes again, and thought about its form. Opening the eye again, and pulling the form towards me. After three or four days, the forms (human form) appeared in my mind as seeing like a normal eye. This was not only for the people in front of me, but also the people behind me. When with the mind spreading, it was on the whole object of the Dhammasāla (i.e., the whole meditation hall). I was seeing the entire Dhammasāla like a normal eye. I went down from the Dhammasāla staircase, and looked at all the streets and saw all of them. When looking at the full center compound (a large area), I saw all of them. And then I thought I was becoming an arahant now, and opening my eyes and looking at things—seeing nun, man, dog, etc. only knowing them as still as nun, man, dog, etc. the normal knowing was still there, and not disappeared. I was emotionally depressed because I thought I seemed unable to attain the Dhamma.

[Here I want to do some reflections on the divine eye which is mentioned by U Chandima and other sources. In Sayadaw’s practice we know that he mentioned the divine eye two times with the light nimitta, and abhiññā—intuitive knowledge. In Burma there was a system called Kanni method which was taught by Kanni Sayadaw U Sobita (1880-1966), one of his disciples was Mye-zin Sayadaw U Sobita (now passed away). Kanni Sayadaw’s teacher was Lat-pan forest Sayadaw U Ādicca (we don’t know much about his life, and it seemed to be the contemporary of Ledi Sayadaw). Sayadaw U Ādicca learnt it from the Theravadin Tibetan monk Shila-tissa who passed away at Lat-pan forest. It seems to me Ledi Sayadaw also had tried this system before in his commentary on ānāpānasati Sutta can see some traces of this practice. One time Ledi Sayadaw in a retreat developed the divine eye—according to him, he was trying to spread the light nimitta to the whole universe, but it was too extensive that he could not retreat it back to him.

The Kanni System is based on the ānāpānasati Sutta of the first four tetrads to develop samādhi with the light nimitta; it is not the same as in the commentary. They sit in meditation and closed their eyes with cloth that light nimitta easily to arise. So in the first step of the first tetrads, yogi even can have the light nimitta. As a 2^nd step they use the light to send it short, and long distances by exercising it; as the 3^rd step, send the light inside the body up and down accordingly, knowing the breath in the beginning, in the middle, and in the end (the full breath). Later send it outwardly. When the practice is mature, they can use the light to see wherever they want.

There was an interesting story about Daw Khin Thein, a female yogi from Myanmar. She was the niece of Sayadaw (Mye-zin) became blind at the age of three (not mentioned the cause). At the age of 42 Sayadaw taught her ānāpānasati, and developed the light nimitta. Later, Sayadaw asked her to see the Mahā Ceti in Buddhagayā in India. She said that she could not find the Mahā Bodhi Ceti, but instead she saw a four sided a tall structure which going up become smaller, and smaller (She did not know that what she saw was the Mahā Ceti because she only knew about the shape, and form of the cetis in Burma only). Daw Khin Thein did not possess the vision of a flesh eye, but she possessed the Dhamma Eye—dhamma-cakkhu.]

如果尊者當時未曾提及，我也會因為所見所聞（即天眼與天耳）而生起樂受，那就錯了。我會誤以為那些是真的，並隨著它們流轉。但如今，我已憑著一位聖者的一句尊言，登上了修道的高峰。我希望你們都能具備這樣的通識見解。

【天眼、宿命智、禪那與神通（abhiññā）等，從世俗角度來看，無疑是最高的世間智慧。但若人們達到這些境界，往往會迷失其中。孫倫尊者（Soon Loon Sayadaw）即使在家修習入出息念時，也曾獲得這些境界。他說過：“Loki（即高度的世間知識）確實很殊勝，我很幸運能夠越渡彼岸（即涅槃），否則我也會沉沒在這些世間法裡。”可見U Chandima 尊者具備智慧型的特質，他很快就放下這些。他所追尋的並非這些無常的東西，而是涅槃這項聖道。他認為沒有什麼值得執取。】

那麼，什麼才是真正的佛法呢？（我當時還在尋找佛法，尚未證得。）阿羅漢能夠分離出許多身體，那麼佛法是否就是能分離身體？我可以把心與身分離，並在坐中，一瞬之間產生一個身體，然後逐步離開本體。

（這類經驗常令人混淆，誤以為是靈魂出竅。這不只科學家相信，甚至有些佛教徒或出家人亦誤解。某些大乘行者會將催眠狀態下的此類經驗，錯解為靈魂存在的證明。）

那時我口渴，想喝水。這個想喝水的心生起了，我應該去喝水，但身體並未起身。透過多次的訓練，“另一個身體”就緩緩地走去打水，打開水壺蓋，拿起杯子倒水並飲用。啊，涼意頓生，胸口舒暢。然後這個形體回到原地，消失，心與原來的坐禪身體重新結合。

【此處，大多數人把“身體”當作“我”，亦把“心”當作“我”。若無佛陀出世，一切眾生皆會如此誤解。眾生的我見何其深重？佛陀對五蘊皆作譬喻，並將識蘊比喻為幻術師。這顆心不斷施展幻術，創造無量問題與痛苦。我們應對它生起厭離與出離。】

我能分離出一個身體，這似乎相當了不起。我以為我已成為阿羅漢，便睜眼觀人，看見人、狗，依然只是以“知為人、知為狗”的方式認知。這與修行前毫無不同，並不特別，顯然我仍未證得佛法。那麼，哪一條才是最好的修行道路？

我對佛法的渴望非常強烈。如同一個飢餓疲憊的旅人長途歸來，即使只有鹽飯，也有強烈的進食欲望。我對佛法的欲求（chanda）正是如此，但卻一直未得正確的方法與系統。

我曾認為憑著肉眼也能得法，於是睜眼觀察面前之人，閉眼後在心中思惟其形相，然後再睜眼將那形相拉近。三、四天後，那些人形就在我心中浮現，如同肉眼所見。不只是前方的人，甚至後方之人我也能見到。

當心散布開來時，整個禪堂的形相我皆見如實，如肉眼一般。我走下禪堂階梯，觀察整條街道，亦都看得清清楚楚。觀看整個道場範圍，也都歷歷在目。然後我便想：我應該已成阿羅漢吧。

我睜眼看比丘尼，只知道她是比丘尼；看男人，就是男人；看狗，就是狗。這是普通的知見，並未轉變，我因此心生失落，認為自己無法證得佛法。

【此處我想補充關於天眼通的反思。U Chandima 尊者在修行中曾兩度提及天眼與光相（nimitta）、神通（abhiññā）。在緬甸，有一套稱為“甘尼系統（Kanni Method）”的修法，由甘尼尊者 U Sobita（1880-1966）所傳，其弟子有茂比尊者 U Sobita（已圓寂）。甘尼尊者的老師是森林系修行者 U Ādicca（對其生平所知不多，似與雷迪尊者同期），他從一位藏傳南傳交會的上座部藏傳比丘 Shila-tissa 處習得此法。

雷迪尊者在其《入出息念經》的注釋中也顯示其曾接觸過此法。有一次，雷迪尊者在閉關中開發出天眼，並嘗試將光相遍照整個宇宙，但其範圍過廣，無法收攝。

甘尼系統依據《入出息念經》前四階段建立定力與光相，與注釋派方法不同。行者會以布蒙眼，使光相易現。第一階段便能生起光相；第二階段訓練光的遠近投射；第三階段引導光入身上下，觀呼吸始、中、終。修行成熟後，能以光見欲見之境。

有一緬甸女行者 Daw Khin Thein（茂比尊者之姪女）三歲失明，42歲時由尊者教以入出息念並開發光相。後來尊者令她觀印度菩提迦耶的大塔（Mahā Ceti），她說沒找到菩提塔，只見到一個四面高大之物，向上逐漸變細（她不知這就是菩提塔，因只熟悉緬甸塔的形制）。她雖無肉眼視力，卻具備“法眼（dhamma-cakkhu）”。】

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

如果禪師尊者沒有提到，我可能會沉迷於視覺和聽覺（即天眼和天耳），那將是錯誤的。我會把這些當作真實的，並隨著它而迷失。現在，我藉著一位聖人的高貴之語，到達了頂峰。我希望你們都能獲得這種一般的知識。

[天眼、宿命通、禪那和神通——直覺力、超能力等等，可以說是最高的世俗知識。如果人們達到那個目標，他們大多會迷失其中。宋隆禪師甚至在他還是在家修行安那般那念的時候就獲得了這些能力。他如下提到——

「世間法（即上述高度世俗的知識）確實非常好。我很幸運能夠渡到彼岸（即涅槃），否則我將沉溺於這些世俗的知識中。」

在這裡，我們可以看見鄔占帝瑪的智慧性格。他輕易地放棄了這些。他的尋找並非這些不穩定的事物——而是一個崇高的尋覓，那就是涅槃。沒有什麼值得執著的。]

哪一個才是佛法呢？（我當時正處於尋找佛法的狀態，但還沒有找到。阿羅漢可以分離出許多身體。難道佛法也能夠分離身體嗎？我當時正在將心從身體中分離出來。我透過創造而獲得了這些能力。在靜坐中，一個身體在一瞬間分離出來，並且每走一步都離我越來越遠。（這種經驗令人困惑，並且會讓人誤解為靈魂離開了身體。不僅科學家相信，甚至佛教僧侶也相信。一些大乘佛教徒將其解釋為靈魂，因為他們看到有人在催眠狀態下有這種經驗。）

那時我口渴想喝水。想喝水的心生起了，我必須去喝水，但沒有起身去喝。經過大量的練習，這個身體一步一步緩慢地出去了。這個身體打開了水罐的蓋子，拿著杯子，舀了水喝了下去。啊！它冷卻了我的胸膛。這個身體（色身）回到了坐著的地方並消失了，心和坐著的身體再次合而為一。

[在這裡，大多數人將身體視為我（atta），也將心視為我。如果沒有佛陀出現，所有眾生都會將它們視為同一。]眾生的我見有多麼深厚？佛陀為五蘊中的每一蘊都給出了比喻，並將識蘊比喻為魔術師。所有眾生都被這個心所耍弄。我們為自己和他人製造各種問題和痛苦。我們應該對心感到幻滅和厭離。

我可以分離出一個身體，這相當顯著。我似乎成了一位阿羅漢，所以我睜開眼睛去看人們：看見男人和狗仍然停留在知道是男人和狗的層次。這和修行前的看法一樣，一點也不重要。在這種情況下，我還沒有證得佛法。哪一種才是最好的修行方式呢？

我對佛法的渴望非常強烈。一個飢餓疲憊的人從遠方旅途歸來。當他非常疲憊和飢餓時，即使只有米飯和鹽，他也非常渴望吃它。我對佛法的渴望非常強烈，但我沒有得到好的方法和體系。

我以為可以用正常的眼睛看到佛法，所以我睜開眼睛看著面前的人（別忘了他在中心），然後再次閉上眼睛，思考它的形狀。再次睜開眼睛，將形狀拉向我。三四天後，這些形狀（人的形狀）在我的腦海中像用正常的眼睛看到的一樣顯現出來。這不僅僅是針對我面前的人，也包括我身後的人。當心擴展開來時，它遍及整個法堂的對象（即整個禪修大廳）。我像用正常的眼睛一樣看見整個法堂。我從法堂的樓梯走下去，看著所有的街道，看到了所有的一切。當看著整個中心院落（一個很大的區域）時，我看到了所有的一切。然後我以為我現在要成為一位阿羅漢了，睜開眼睛看著事物——看見比丘尼、男人、狗等等，仍然只知道是比丘尼、男人、狗等等，正常的認知仍然存在，並沒有消失。我情緒低落，因為我認為自己似乎無法證得佛法。

[在這裡，我想對鄔占帝瑪和其他資料中提到的天眼做一些反思。在禪師的修行中，我們知道他兩次提到天眼，一次是與光明相（light nimitta）有關，另一次是與神通（abhiññā）——直覺知識有關。在緬甸有一個叫做堪尼法門（Kanni method）的系統，由堪尼禪師鄔索比達（Kanni Sayadaw U Sobita，1880-1966）傳授，他的一位弟子是妙津禪師鄔索比達（Mye-zin Sayadaw U Sobita，現已過世）。堪尼禪師的老師是拉潘森林禪師鄔阿迪卡（Lat-pan forest Sayadaw U Ādicca，我們對他的生平知之甚少，他似乎是雷迪禪師的同時代人）。鄔阿迪卡禪師從一位在拉潘森林圓寂的藏傳上座部比丘希拉提薩（Shila-tissa）那裡學到了這個法門。在我看來，雷迪禪師也曾在他的《安那般那念經》的註釋中嘗試過這個系統，可以看到一些這種修行的痕跡。有一次，雷迪禪師在閉關中發展了天眼——據他說，他試圖將光明相擴展到整個宇宙，但它太廣大了，他無法將其收回來。

堪尼法門基於《安那般那念經》前四科來發展帶有光明相的定力；它與註釋中的不同。他們閉著眼睛打坐，用布遮住眼睛，這樣光明相更容易生起。因此，在第一科的第一步，瑜伽行者甚至可以獲得光明相。第二步，他們透過練習來使用光明相發送到近處和遠處；第三步，相應地將光明相在體內上下移動，知道呼吸的開始、中間和結束（完整的呼吸）。然後向外發送光明相。當修行成熟時，他們可以使用光明相看到他們想看到的任何地方。

有一個關於緬甸女瑜伽行者杜欽丁（Daw Khin Thein）的有趣故事。她是妙津禪師的侄女，三歲時失明（沒有提到原因）。四十二歲時，禪師教她安那般那念，她發展了光明相。後來，禪師請她去看印度菩提伽耶的大菩提塔（Mahā Ceti）。她說她找不到大菩提塔，但她看到一個四方形的高大建築，向上逐漸變小（她不知道她看到的是大菩提塔，因為她只知道緬甸佛塔的形狀和形式）。杜欽丁沒有肉眼的視力，但她擁有法眼（dhamma-cakkhu）。]

I re-established the ānāpānasati, but I didn’t do it blindly as before. You all have to know that you can’t do work blindly (He was a good example here). In vipassanā practice there are sacca ñāṇa, kicca ñāṇa, kata ñāṇa, yathābhuta ñāṇa (In simple words—they are: knowledge of study, knowledge of practice, knowledge of result, knowledge of the things as it really is.) We have to analyse and reflect on them. I was doing what the teacher had told me, but I didn’t know why I had to do it. I didn’t know what was necessary for the goal. Why did he ask me to do it? He didn’t explain them to me. The teacher didn’t tell me clearly about the practice. I myself also did not know the differences. If I was like this, I would never attain Dhamma. Why have to establish ānāpānasati? The Buddha became a Buddha with ānāpānasati. Dhamma must exist in ānāpānasati meditation. I was doing ānāpāna in a natural way, mindful of the nature of in-breath and out-breath, and knowing the contact of the nostril with the in, and out breaths. I didn’t do it blindly as before breathing in Shu-shel, Shu-shel, etc., not doing it without any reason, and doing it mindfully.

Carefully with mindfulness I was mindful of the touching nature from the beginning to the end. I was mindful of the breaths touching the nostril, and knowing about them and their vanishing. These did not fit together—I knew it only after it arose, and after it vanished (i.e., not in the present moment). I reduced the quick air into balance with mindfulness. After it was levelled out, knowing them only when it is just arising, and it is just passing away. My desire is to know in these things what made that dhamma exists.

Vīthicitta (consciousness belonging to a cognitive process, or process mind) arose in my knowing of rise and fall. With balanced sati, do not let it be more than necessary and it becomes balanced, and then knowing them just arising and passing away. With the touching, and knowing arising, I was knowing it; when it passed away, and I was knowing it just passing away (i.e., magga fit in with the rise, and fall which very often mentioned in Mogok talks). After that, life continuum mind (bhavaṅga citta) ceased (in Burmese the usage is fallen into bhavaṅga). From (the rise and fall of) touching and knowing, it fall into bhavaṅga. It was like fanning with a fan—bhavaṅga vibration. ??) Dhamma existed in ānāpāna that I let my mind return to the touching point of the nostril. With a vibration bhavaṅga pulled the mind back to it. Oh! What was that? I was looking Dhamma at ānāpāna, but something which I didn’t know was pulling the mind back to bhavaṅga (in Burmese using the short form of bhavam). I returned the mind back to the knowing of touching, and vanishing. Furthermore, I didn’t do it blindly like before.

You all have to be careful is if in practice you encounter something—have to reflect why it happens? What is the result of it?, etc. These kinds of investigating nature, observation nature, and reflective nature is the seed of getting insight knowledge. So don't do it blindly; otherwise, you can't achieve your goal with it. With mindfulness, I knew the arising and passing away of it, observing it with knowledge (ñāṇa), the knowing mind disappeared in a blip. I thought if it didn’t stay where I led, then let it stay where it was going. So my mindfulness stayed at bhavaṅga. Before I didn’t know about bhavaṅga, and its existence. Consciousness arose, vedanā arose, etc. knowing them and its disappearing. When vedanā arose, the mind at bhavaṅga moved to vedanā. Who was this culprit? What did it mean? When I let it on vedanā, it was unbearable. (The above process seems similar to bhavaṅga citta and vitticitta citta arising and vanishing intermittently in the Abhidhamma mind process.)

This was the result dhamma. I wouldn’t let it happen again.

This mind desired for Dhamma, afraid of ghosts, desire for Nibbāna, afraid of saṃsāra, and it wanted to be free from saṃsāra. After it moved to vedanā, and not stayed there, and ran away with fear. The bhavaṅga or chest area became tense. What did that mean? As vedanā increased, more tensions arose. The mind was suffering, and tired of it. Vedanā increasing underneath was nothing to do with the body khandha (i.e., becoming tense at the chest). When I was reflecting on the reason, the mind suffered so that it became tired. This body and this mind were functioning together. If the mind suffered, bhavaṅga became tense (chest, and heart area). If the mind relaxed, bhavaṅga was also relaxed. This mind and this body had a cause and effect relationship.

These are the processes of vipassanā. It’ll be difficult for you all to contemplate, but it has value. If your knowledge is not enough for contemplation, you don’t know what I am talking about. On the path of vipassanā you have to practice in this way to develop it. I am delivering it for you to attain wisdom knowledge. You have to observe and know what it’s about. Before practice, the bhavaṅga was not tense. With practice, vedanā arose so that bhavaṅga became tense. If the mind suffered, bhavaṅga was tense; and if the mind was happy, bhavaṅga relaxed. This mind and bhavaṅga must have cause and effect. I didn’t re-establish ānāpāna again, instead at bhavaṅga, I looked after the mind not to be tensed, and looked after the bhavaṅga not to be tensed either.

When vedanā increased, this mind wanted to move. I was warning it to stay as usual, and not to be chaotic. The body changed as it worked, the mind must do its own work. Even though vedanā was increasing, [practicing with the strength of saddhā, and viriya (faith, and energy)] at last bhavaṅga mind ceased. This mind had no need to look after it and it is separated from the body. It was nothing to do with me, and bhavaṅga became cool, and happy. Previously, with the increase of vedanā, the bhavaṅga became tense and the mind was in pain. Now bhavaṅga was relaxed, and happy. Even vedanā was increasing, yet there was only physical pain, not spiritual pain. The mind was in pain before because I couldn’t bear the tenseness, stiffness, numbness, and aches. I had made the wrong accusation on the body (i.e., taking pain as the cause of the body).

This was dispelling of wrong view, and changing into wisdom knowledge. In common people when they were sick, head, body, hands, etc. in pains and aches, they thought and accused the physical body. They didn’t know the reality (i.e., paramatāā), and only knew the non-existence of concepts (paññatti). They clung to bodily suffering that did not exist, became greedy (taṇhā), and hold on to wrong views (diṭṭhi). Now diṭṭhi was fallen away. Because of this body (rūpa), vedanā were arising which led to wrong views and perceptions. Pain in the thighs and legs is not suffering; suffering and pleasure are in the mind, so knowing the mind as the cause.

Before, clinging to the body, and we made the accusation of it. It was not existing in the body, but in the mind. Before in ānāpāna even vedanā was increasing, when the mind could stay with ānāpāna it was happy. The body was functioning according to its nature. Now the body was changed (disturbed) the mind fallen into bhavaṅga, and the mind freed from it. It made me more uplifted. The body was not the main factor, the pain, and happiness of the mind was the main one. Craving and clinging were falling away. What kind of craving, wrong view, and clinging fell away? The wrong view of unpleasantness with my lap, and leg were in pain, clinging with taṇhā—upādāna to the body, lap, hand, and leg—couldn’t bear the pain of taṇhā fall away.

我重新建立了ânāpānasati（安那般那念），但這次不再像以前那樣盲目地修習。你們大家都要知道，修行時不能盲目地操作（他就是一個良好範例）。在毘婆舍那的修習中，有真理智（sacca ñāṇa）、功能智（kicca ñāṇa）、成就智（kata ñāṇa）、如實智（yathābhūta ñāṇa）。簡單地說：即是學習的智、修行的智、成果的智，以及如實知見的智。我們必須分析並反思這些內容。我之前只是做老師所指導的，但我不知道為什麼要這樣做，也不明白為什麼這是達成目標所必須的。他沒有詳細解釋修行的目的與要義。我自己也不知道彼此之間的差異。如果繼續這樣下去，我永遠無法證得法。

為什麼要建立ânāpānasati？因為佛陀正是依此修行而成佛的。法一定存在於ânāpānasati的修行之中。我以自然的方式修習安那般那，覺知吸入與呼出之氣的本質，明覺氣息觸碰鼻端的接觸點與出入之現象。我不再像以前那樣盲目地呼吸著"舒-舍爾、舒-舍爾"地念，而是有因有果地、有正念地修行。

我以正念細緻地觀察從開始到結束的接觸本質。我清楚覺知氣息觸碰鼻端的現象，並知其生起與消失。但這些覺知並不契合實相，我只是事後才知道它生起與消失（即非現前的知）。我減緩呼吸的速度，使其平衡並配合正念。當氣息調整平穩後，我開始能於氣息剛生起時即知其生起，剛滅去時即知其滅去。我的渴望是去明瞭究竟是什麼因緣導致法的存在。

此時生起了『過程心』（vīthicitta），即於覺知氣息的生滅過程中出現的認知心。當正念平衡而不過於強烈或鬆散時，我能清楚地覺知氣息的生起與滅去。當接觸與覺知同時發生，我即刻知道那正在生起；當其消失時，我也即刻知道那正在滅去（這正是Mogok講法中常提到的──道智正好合於這種生滅）。

接著，『有分心』（bhavaṇga citta）止息了（在緬語中會說落入有分）。從氣息接觸與覺知的生滅，進入了有分的震動狀態。就像用扇子扇風那樣，有分心在震動著。法確實存在於ânāpāna當中，然而有某種我不明瞭的東西將我的心拉回有分之處。我將心拉回鼻端接觸點的覺知處，再次建立正念，但某物又把心拉回有分。喔！那是什麼？我正在ânāpāna中尋找法，但某物不明所以地將心拉向有分。我沒有再盲目地操作。

你們大家要小心：當修行中出現某些現象時，要反思它為什麼會發生？其果報是什麼？這些反思、觀察、與探究的性質，正是觀智生起的種子。所以不要盲修瞎練，否則你永遠無法達成修行的目的。

我以正念覺知其生滅，並以智慧（ñāṇa）觀察它們的消逝。當覺知心在一瞬間消失時，我想：如果它不依我所導引的停留，那就讓它停在它自選之處。於是，我的正念留在了有分心那裡。我以前並不知道有分心及其存在方式。識生起了、受生起了，我觀察其生滅。當受生起時，心從有分移向受。這是誰在作怪？這是什麼意思？當我將心放在受上，卻無法承受。

這便是果報法。我不再讓它發生。

這顆心渴望法，怕鬼、想證涅槃、畏懼輪迴，想要出離生死。當它移向受而無法停留、逃逸時，有分心或胸部區域便變得緊繃。這是什麼意思？隨著受的增強，緊繃感也增加。心受苦並感到疲憊。受的增強與身體蘊無關（即胸部的緊繃與身體蘊不同）。當我反思其因緣時，是心的苦使其疲憊。

這身與這心彼此協同運作。如果心苦，有分也變得緊繃；如果心輕鬆，有分也會放鬆。這心與有分間有因果關係。

這就是觀智的歷程。你們可能很難體會，但這是有價值的。如果你的知見不足，就無法理解我所說的內容。行於毘婆舍那之道者，必須如此修行以培養智慧。我是在為你們的智慧而講述，你們必須觀察並了解這一切的內涵。

修行前，有分並不緊繃。修行後，由於受的生起，有分變得緊繃。心若痛苦，有分會緊繃；心若快樂，有分也會輕鬆。這心與有分一定是有因果的。我沒有再重建ânāpāna，而是在有分處照顧心不緊繃，也照顧有分不緊繃。

當受增強時，這顆心想移動。我警告它保持原狀，不要混亂。身體照常運作，心必須做自己的工作。即使受在增長，［以信與精進的力量修行］最終有分心止息了。此心無需再照顧它，與身體分離。這已與我無關，有分變得清涼與快樂。以前，隨著受的增強，有分變得緊繃、心也痛苦。現在，有分放鬆、快樂。即使受仍增強，但那只是身體的痛，而非精神的苦。以前之所以苦，是因我無法承受緊繃、僵硬、麻木與酸痛，我錯誤地將這些歸咎於身體。

這便是邪見的破除，轉為智慧之知。一般人若生病，頭、身、手等部位出現酸痛，他們便認為是身體在受苦。他們不了解真實相（即究竟法 paramatāā），只知道概念法（paññatti）所指涉的東西。他們執取身體的苦，生起貪愛與邪見。

現在，邪見已斷。因為這個色身，受便生起，導致邪見與錯誤的認知。腿部與大腿的疼痛並非真正的苦，真正的苦與樂在於心中，所以要知是心為因。

從前，由於執取身體，我們將疼痛歸罪於身。但其實不在身體，而是在心。從前修安那般那時，即使受在增長，只要心能安住於安那般那，便是快樂。身體依然依其自性而行。

現在身體變化了（受到干擾），心墮入有分，從中解脫出來。這讓我更加振奮。身體不是主因，心的苦樂才是關鍵。愛與執取已止息。是什麼樣的愛、見與執取被止息？那種認為大腿、小腿的疼痛是苦的邪見，那種對身體、大腿、手腳的貪愛與執取，那種因無法忍受而產生的貪愛與執著，都已止息。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

我重新建立了安那般那念，但我不再像以前那樣盲目地修行了。你們都必須知道，你們不能盲目地工作（他這裡是一個很好的例子）。在毗婆舍那的修行中，有諦智（sacca ñāṇa）、作智（kicca ñāṇa）、已作智（kata ñāṇa）、如實智（yathābhuta ñāṇa）（簡單來說——它們是：學習的知識、實踐的知識、結果的知識、如實知見事物的知識）。我們必須分析和反思它們。我當時只是按照老師告訴我的去做，但我不知道為什麼必須這樣做。我不知道目標所必需的是什麼。他為什麼要我這樣做？他沒有向我解釋。老師沒有清楚地告訴我關於修行的事。我自己也不知道這些區別。

如果我一直是這樣，我永遠無法證得佛法。為什麼必須建立安那般那念？佛陀是透過安那般那念成為佛陀的。佛法一定存在於安那般那的禪修中。我以自然的方式修習安那般那，正念於入息和出息的本性，並覺知鼻孔與入息和出息的接觸。我不再像以前那樣盲目地呼吸「舒-舍、舒-舍」等等，而是有理由地正念地呼吸。

我小心翼翼地以正念覺知從開始到結束的觸碰的本性。我正念於呼吸觸碰鼻孔，並了解它們及其消失。這些並不一致——我只有在它生起之後，以及它消失之後才知道（即不在當下）。我以正念將快速的呼吸調整到平衡。在它平穩之後，只有在它剛剛生起和剛剛消失時才覺知它們。我渴望了解在這些事物中是什麼使佛法存在。

在我的生起和滅去的覺知中，生起了尋求過程的意識（vīthicitta，屬於認知過程或過程心的意識）。以平衡的正念，不要讓它超過必要的程度，它就會變得平衡，然後只覺知它們的生起和滅去。隨著觸碰和覺知的生起，我知道它；當它消失時，我知道它正在消失（即道與生起和滅去相符，這在莫哥的開示中經常提到）。之後，生命流的意識（bhavaṅga citta）停止了（在緬甸語中，用法是「落入有分」）。從觸碰和覺知的（生起和滅去）中，它落入了有分。這就像用扇子扇風——有分振動。（？？）佛法存在於安那般那中，我讓我的心回到鼻孔的觸碰點。隨著振動，有分將心拉回到那個點。哦！那是什麼？我正在安那般那中尋找佛法，但一些我不知道的東西正將心拉回到有分（在緬甸語中使用 bhavam 的簡稱）。我將心拉回到觸碰和消失的覺知中。此外，我不再像以前那樣盲目地修行了。

你們都必須小心的是，如果在修行中遇到什麼——必須反思為什麼會發生？它的結果是什麼？等等。這些調查的本性、觀察的本性和反思的本性是獲得內觀智慧的種子。所以不要盲目地修行；否則，你無法藉此實現你的目標。以正念，我知道它的生起和滅去，以智慧（ñāṇa）觀察它，覺知的心在一瞬間消失了。我想如果它沒有停留在我引導的地方，那就讓它停留在它要去的地方。所以我的正念停留在有分。以前我不知道有分及其存在。意識生起，感受生起等等，覺知它們及其消失。當感受生起時，有分的心轉向感受。這個罪魁禍首是誰？那是什麼意思？當我讓它停留在感受上時，那是無法忍受的。（上述過程似乎與阿毗達摩心識流中斷斷續續生起和消失的有分心和尋求過程的心相似。）這是結果法。我不會讓它再次發生。

這個心渴望佛法，害怕鬼魂，渴望涅槃，害怕輪迴，它想從輪迴中解脫出來。在它轉向感受之後，並沒有停留在那裡，而是帶著恐懼逃走了。有分或胸部區域變得緊張。那是什麼意思？隨著感受的增加，更多的緊張也隨之而來。心在受苦，並對此感到疲憊。感受在下方增加與身體蘊（即胸部變得緊張）無關。當我反思原因時，心受苦以至於變得疲憊。這個身體和這個心一起運作。如果心受苦，有分就會變得緊張（胸部和心臟區域）。如果心放鬆，有分也會放鬆。這個心和這個身體有因果關係。

這些是毗婆舍那的過程。對你們來說可能難以觀照，但它是有價值的。如果你的知識不足以觀照，你就不明白我在說什麼。在毗婆舍那的道路上，你必須這樣修行才能發展它。我正在傳達它，以便你們獲得智慧。你們必須觀察並了解它是什麼。修行前，有分並不緊張。透過修行，感受生起，以至於有分變得緊張。如果心受苦，有分就會緊張；如果心快樂，有分就會放鬆。這個心和有分一定有因果關係。我沒有再次重新建立安那般那念，而是在有分，我照顧著心不要緊張，也照顧著有分不要緊張。

當感受增加時，這個心想要移動。我警告它保持原狀，不要混亂。身體隨著它的運作而改變，心必須做它自己的工作。即使感受在增加，[以信心和精進（saddhā 和 viriya）的力量修行]，最後有分心停止了。這個心不需要照顧它，它與身體分離了。這與我無關，有分變得涼爽和快樂。以前，隨著感受的增加，有分變得緊張，心也痛苦。現在有分放鬆和快樂了。即使感受在增加，也只有身體上的痛苦，沒有精神上的痛苦。以前心痛苦是因為我無法忍受緊張、僵硬、麻木和疼痛。我錯誤地指責了身體（即將疼痛視為身體的原因）。

這是破除邪見，轉變為智慧。普通人在生病、頭痛、身體痛、手痛等等時，他們會思考並指責身體。他們不知道實相（即勝義諦，paramatāā），只知道概念的不存在（paññatti）。他們執著於不存在的身體痛苦，變得貪婪（taṇhā），並持有錯誤的見解（diṭṭhi）。現在邪見已經消失了。因為這個身體（色，rūpa），感受生起，導致了錯誤的見解和認知。大腿和腿的疼痛不是痛苦；痛苦和快樂在心中，所以知道心是原因。

以前，我們執著於身體，並指責它。它並不存在於身體中，而是在心中。以前在安那般那中，即使感受在增加，當心能夠與安那般那同在時，它是快樂的。身體按照其本性運作。現在身體改變了（受到干擾），心落入了有分，然後心從有分中解脫出來。這讓我更加振奮。身體不是主要因素，心的痛苦和快樂才是主要的。渴愛和執著正在消失。什麼樣的渴愛、邪見和執著消失了？我大腿和腿疼痛的不愉悅的邪見，以及對身體、大腿、手和腿的渴愛——執取（taṇhā-upādāna）——無法忍受渴愛的消失所帶來的痛苦。

From sotāpanna to arahant their diṭṭhi, taṇhā, and upādāna were not the same, and their khandhas (i.e., five khandhas) also not the same. Now it was the cessation of cūla-sotāpanna’s diṭṭhi, taṇhā, and upādāna dhammas. Because of this mind that pain and happiness arose, so the increasing of vedanā was the cause. At near death I should not pass away with the cause, only with the cessation of the cause to Nibbāna.

Because of this mind, pain and happiness arose, so I had the desire to know the cause of this mind. This time when vedanā was increasing I didn’t let bhavaṅga fell in. Instead, I contemplated the increasing of vedanā to know its mental factor. Who was the one to experience the increasing of vedanā? It was true that Dhamma existed in the khandha. Search for Dhamma was opening the khandha package, and looking into it. With the increasing of vedanā the mind was moving, and wanting to run away.

It wanted to run towards ānāpāna, and bhavaṅga. No! You had to stay with vedanā, and focused it on vedanā, but it didn’t stay there. Before this mind, and the I-ness mixed-up, and became I was in pain. This was the mind in pain, and stuck with lust (rāga), and defilement (kilesa). What was this mind? Mind and body were the objects of contemplation, and contemplative mind was mindfulness (sati).

If without the differentiation, and mixed up, only I could see the body, I had to contemplate them with separation. There was arising a way to contemplate the mind and form with separation. Before, I had upādāna on the mind. I wanted to know how this mind was related to vedanā? So I let go the mind to vedanā, and it freed from clinging to the mind, and sakkāya diṭṭhi ceased (i.e., identity view). With the cessation of lust (rāga) on vedanā, and this mind ceased in a blip. The mind was clear, and transparent. (This point is mentioned in The-inn Gu Sayadaw’s instruction in vipassanā, when levelling samādhi and paññā and becoming balanced, it starts seeing anicca.)

Vedanā was increasing, but the mind was clear. There was no need to shun away from it, no need to separate from it. There was no need to run away, and simply look after it, then the mind was eased by itself. The mind stopped with clearness. If vedanā was increasing before wanting to change, and move. With the re-establishing of ānāpāna it was freed from vedanā. If falling from ānāpāna, it arrived back to vedanā, and became painful. Now bhavaṅga was ceased, if not it was painful. Now, without one’s correction, it was ceased by itself. If no mindfulness (sati), it reappeared and fell back to vedanā with pain. So I let it stay there on vedanā. I wanted to know about this mind, and I contemplated it, and the mind ceased; then the mind of taṇhā saṅkhāra wanting to free, and escape arose. With their cessation (i.e., taṇhā saṅkhāra) the clear mind freed from clinging (upādāna) arose. So it didn’t need to escape or shun away from it. When I knew this, and paid attention to the clear element, then the body form was disintegrating, and vanishing. The body form (rūpa) became a block of water foam with particles. It was like moving and disintegrating. It's like water foams that disappeared as they moved. When I was looking at the whole body it felt like water foams were arising and vanishing. With the observation, the khandha became a block of water foam. Originally I thought it was a solidified form with shape. Now it was not, and a block of water foam. I continued with the contemplation, and the block of water foam was like arriving at the center of a whirlpool with explosion and disintegration. It was vanishing like a firework, and like the sesame seeds inside the hot iron cauldron exploding, and vanishing. With the vanishing, and became fearful of it. I was looking for the Dhamma, and the khandha became dissolved. I thought it was a good thing, now it was dissolving. It became longer, and with more dissolution. While looking at knees, legs, waist, hands, etc., they're all dissolving; there was no place that did not dissolve; when you looked more, more dissolved. It was like the sesame seeds in the hot cauldron, like mountains were collapsing and disintegrating, like sand storms arising, and like rocks were falling apart. It was frightening like a strong typhoon blowing the trees with violent shaking, and striking with each other, and became noisy. (In one of The-inn Gu Sayadaw’s talks, even he could hear the sound of dissolution).

This khandha body became frightening. Before I thought this body as solid and stable, and now it was not anymore. It was a big block of disintegration in a fearful way. I was seeing the present dissolution nature of ultimate reality (paramatā). It was not noting with concept (saññā), but seeing its own nature. With more time, it was with more dissolution. It was so much dissolved that I became afraid of association with this body. It was dissolving at standing, going, coming etc., even if I couldn't speak and interact with others; it was impossible not to want to know the nature of it. I wanted to run away to a place which was free from this body. With more fear and more running; with more running and more dissolution that I was in trouble, even I couldn’t sleep at night (at the stage of strong insight).

At that time, Bee-linn Sayadaw informed everyone to come to their monks' meeting, and I had to be there. Sayadaw was giving a talk, and asking me; “U Chandima! Do you appreciate my exhortation?” I was responding as; “Ven. Sir, I don’t know about it.” My answer made him displeased. So he said; “Ven! You don’t pay attention to what I exhort you.” My answer was; “No, I don’t Ven. Sir.” It made him angrier, then he asked me why I didn’t pay attention to him. My response was; “Ven. Sir, I don’t have the strength to listen to you. My body is in dissolution, and becoming a block of particles. I became afraid and out of control if this body was like a robe I would take it off, and discard it. Therefore, I am thinking of how to be freed from this body form.”

With this response Sayadaw became quiet, and turning towards the saṅgha, and said; “Venerables! He has the strong insight knowledge, and will become a seven lives time stream enterer.” I didn’t know anything that he said, and I was not taking it seriously. The most important thing was that I was suffering, and how to be free from it. Therefore, I was asking him to give me a way to free myself from dukkha. His response was; “Dhamma will give you, and it doesn’t need me.”

從初果聖者（sotāpanna）到阿羅漢，他們的邪見（diṭṭhi）、渴愛（taṇhā）和執取（upādāna）並不相同，他們的五蘊（khandhas）也不相同。現在是小初果聖者（cūla-sotāpanna）的邪見、渴愛和執取之法的止息。因為這個心生起了痛苦和快樂，所以感受（vedanā）的增加是原因。臨終時我不應該帶著原因死去，而應該只帶著原因的止息而入涅槃。

因為這個心，痛苦和快樂生起了，所以我渴望知道這個心的原因。這次當感受增加時，我沒有讓有分（bhavaṅga）落入。相反，我觀照感受的增加，以了解它的心所。誰是體驗感受增加的人？法的確存在於蘊中。尋找法是打開蘊的包裹，並觀察它。隨著感受的增加，心在移動，並想逃跑。

它想逃向安那般那和有分。不！你必須留在感受中，並專注於感受，但它並沒有停留在那里。在此之前，這個心和「我」混在一起，變成了「我在痛苦」。這是痛苦的心，並執著於貪欲（rāga）和煩惱（kilesa）。這個心是什麼？身和心是觀照的對象，而觀照的心是正念（sati）。

如果沒有區分而混在一起，我只能看到身體，我必須將它們分開觀照。觀照身心分離的方法生起了。以前，我對心有執取（upādāna）。我想知道這個心與感受有什麼關係？所以我放開心去感受，它從對心的執著中解脫出來，並且身見（sakkāya diṭṭhi，identity view）止息了。隨著對感受的貪欲（rāga）的止息，這個心在一瞬間停止了。心清明透明。（這一點在提因古禪師的毗婆舍那指導中提到，當定（samādhi）和慧（paññā）平衡時，它開始看到無常。）

感受在增加，但心很清明。沒有必要避開它，沒有必要與它分離。沒有必要逃跑，只是照顧它，然後心自然就平靜了。心帶著清明停止了。如果以前感受增加時想要改變和移動。透過重新建立安那般那念，它從感受中解脫出來。如果從安那般那念中掉下來，它又回到感受，並變得痛苦。現在有分止息了，否則就會痛苦。現在，無需任何人糾正，它自己就止息了。如果沒有正念（sati），它又會出現並帶著痛苦回到感受。所以我讓它停留在感受上。我想了解這個心，我觀照它，心就止息了；然後想要解脫和逃離的渴愛行蘊（taṇhā saṅkhāra）的心生起了。隨著它們的止息（即渴愛行蘊），清明的心從執取（upādāna）中解脫出來。所以它不需要逃離或避開它。當我知道這一點，並注意到清明元素時，身體的形狀就瓦解並消失了。身體的形狀（色，rūpa）變成了一塊帶有微粒的水泡沫。它就像在移動和瓦解。就像水泡沫移動時消失一樣。當我看著整個身體時，感覺就像水泡沫在生起和消失。透過觀察，蘊變成了一塊水泡沫。最初我以為它是一個有形狀的固化形式。現在它不是了，而是一塊水泡沫。我繼續觀照，這塊水泡沫就像到達漩渦的中心，伴隨著爆炸和瓦解。它像煙火一樣消失，又像熱鐵鍋裡的芝麻籽爆炸並消失一樣。隨著它的消失，我對它感到害怕。我正在尋找佛法，而蘊溶解了。我認為這是一件好事，現在它正在溶解。它變得更長，並且溶解得更多。當看著膝蓋、腿、腰、手等等時，它們都在溶解；沒有一個地方不溶解；你看得越多，溶解得越多。它就像熱鍋裡的芝麻籽，像山崩地裂，像沙塵暴來襲，像岩石崩塌。它令人恐懼，就像強烈的颱風猛烈地搖晃樹木，互相撞擊，發出噪音。（在提因古禪師的一次開示中，甚至他也能聽到溶解的聲音）。

這個蘊的身體變得令人恐懼。以前我認為這個身體是堅固穩定的，但現在不再是了。它是一個以可怕的方式瓦解的大塊。我正在看到究竟實相（paramatā）當下的溶解本性。這不是用概念（saññā）來覺知，而是看到它自身的本性。隨著時間的推移，它溶解得更多。它溶解得如此之多，以至於我害怕與這個身體產生聯繫。它在站立、行走、來去等等時都在溶解，即使我無法說話和與他人互動；也不可能不想知道它的本性。我想逃到一個沒有這個身體的地方。越害怕越想逃跑；越逃跑溶解得越多，我陷入了困境，甚至晚上都睡不著（在強烈內觀的階段）。

那時，比林禪師（Bee-linn Sayadaw）通知大家參加他們的僧侶會議，我必須去那裡。禪師正在開示，問我：「鄔占帝瑪！你欣賞我的勸告嗎？」我回答說：「尊者，我不知道。」我的回答使他不悅。所以他說：「尊者！你沒有注意我勸告你的話。」我回答說：「不，尊者，我沒有。」這讓他更生氣了，然後他問我為什麼不注意他。我的回答是：「尊者，我沒有力氣聽您說話。我的身體正在溶解，變成一堆微粒。我感到害怕和失控，如果這個身體像一件僧袍，我會把它脫掉並丟棄。因此，我正在思考如何從這個身體的形狀中解脫出來。」

聽到這個回答，禪師沉默了，然後轉向僧團說：「諸位尊者！他有強烈的內觀智慧，將成為七世的入流者。」我對他說的話一無所知，也沒有認真對待。最重要的是我正在受苦，以及如何從中解脫出來。因此，我請求他給我一個從痛苦中解脫出來的方法。他的回答是：「佛法會給你，不需要我。」

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

從初果到阿羅漢他們的覺覺見、慾欲與執著（diṭṭhi, taṅhā, upādāna）是不相同的，他們的五耶股（khandha）也是不相同的。而現在，是小初果所消滅的覺見、慾欲與執著此種所與的法。因為是這個心，才有痛與樂的生起，所以，視「感受增長」為根本。我思索著，自己不應該在臨終時以「有因」之心而死，而應在「因消」的狀態中輕輕輕輕地往生於涅槃。

所以，我對這個能生痛與樂的心有了深切的懷疑，我想瞭解這個心的因。這個時候，當感受增長時，我不再讓心流落有分，而是對感受增長進行觀照，想瞭解誰是經歷這能生感受的。

是的，法實在耶股中。尋法，就是開啟耶股包裝，一切擦開看裡面有什麼。當感受增長時，心變得不安分，心想逃離它，想跳轉回到充滿幸福的氣息或心流，但我說：不，你必須留在這裏。

在這裏有個分析，這個心與「我」的感覺結合在一起，就成為「我痛」。這是有慾戀（rāga）與煩惱（kilesa）所纏繞的心，這是心？心與身是觀照的對象，觀照它們的心，就是念。

如果不能分別，像裝在一起那樣，只看見身体的觀照是不夠的。必須分別觀照身與心，不再執著於心，而是想瞭解這個心與感受有何關聯？

我讓心轉向感受，並於是解脫對心的執著，所以我所有的身見就消逝了。慾戀（rāga）對感受消逝，這心突然停止，成爲一片晶瑩透明。

這時感受雖然增長，但心是明清的，就這樣它自然地恢復了平靜，不必再逃避或說不要它。

如果沒有念，心就會跳轉回去感受，又變成痛苦。所以，我讓它留住在感受上，想知道這心到底是什麼，我觀照它，它就後退；與它連續的慾欲行、有為行（taṅhā saṅkhāra）也消逝了，然後一個脫離執著的明清心現身。

這個時候，我對這個明清光點進行觀照，發現身體形色開始溶解。身體變成了一塊水泡、水滴結成的粒子，小小粒子在運動中溶解。我看著身體，它成了一堆水泡，而不是之前以為那種圓潤執著的形象。

我繼續觀照，身體像被吹入一個流水漆流的潮水中，突然爆開，分解。它像烟花一樣溶解，像烤鍊鍋裏的麵粉粒炸裂，後就沒有了。

這樣的觀照，身體的覺解是形色結合而成，但它不是有個相穩的形象，而是如水泡般地有時生、有時消，無定。

接著我再次建立了出入息念，但不像以前那樣盲目地修行。你們都應當明白，修行不能盲目進行（在這方面我是個很好的例子）。在內觀修行中，有「真理智」（sacca ñāṇa）、「應作智」（kicca ñāṇa）、「已作智」（kata ñāṇa）、「如實智」（yathābhūta ñāṇa）。簡單來說：分別是對真理的理解、實修的智慧、成果的體驗，以及對法的如實觀照。我們應當分析、反思這些面向。

我之前只是按照老師的指示去做，但不知道為何要那樣做，也不知道那樣做是否對達到目標有所助益。老師也沒有向我清楚解釋修行的目的，我自己也分不清其中的差別。如果我繼續這樣修行，就永遠無法證得法。那麼，為何要建立出入息念呢？因為佛陀就是依靠出入息念成為佛陀的。出入息念之中必定存在著法。

我依自然法則修習出入息念，覺知吸氣與呼氣的本質，覺知氣息觸碰鼻孔的當下。我不再像從前那樣盲目地唸「舒—吸、舒—吸」，也不再無意義地練習，而是以正念謹慎地修行。

我細心觀察出入息從開始至結束的觸碰感，正念覺知氣息接觸鼻孔時的觸感，以及它的消失。但這些並未即時對應，我都是在它生起之後或消失之後才知道（也就是無法掌握當下）。於是我減緩呼吸的速度，使之平穩，並與正念保持一致。當氣息平穩後，我便能準確地覺知氣息的剛起與剛滅。我的願望是能夠如實知見此法的存在。

知識性的心（vīthi citta）隨著「生滅」的知見而現起。當正念平衡、恰到好處時，就能如實地覺知：生起時知其生起，滅去時知其滅去（這正是《莫哥講記》中常強調的道與果應當與「生滅」相應）。

接著，生有心（bhavaṅga citta）止息了（緬語中稱之為「掉入 bhavaṅga」）。從覺知觸感的「生滅」開始，轉而掉入 bhavaṅga，就像用扇子扇風一樣，bhavaṅga 微微震動。法確實存在於出入息念中，而我將心帶回鼻孔觸點處。此時，bhavaṅga 像有某種力量將心拉回來。

「喔，那是什麼？」我原本是在出入息念中觀法，但有某種我無法理解的東西，將心拉回 bhavaṅga（在緬語中簡稱為 bhavam）。於是我又將心帶回去觀觸感的生與滅。不像以前那樣盲目地修行。

你們在修行中若遇到某些現象，一定要細心觀察：為什麼會發生？它有何果報？這樣的探究心、觀察心與反思心就是開啟觀智的種子。所以千萬不可盲修瞎練，否則不可能達到真正的目標。

我以正念覺知生起與滅去，以智慧觀照它；然後覺知的心瞬間止息。我想：「如果它不待在我所引導之處，那就讓它停在它自己停留的地方吧。」於是我的正念轉而安住於 bhavaṅga。此前我不知道 bhavaṅga 的存在。

當識（viññāṇa）與受（vedanā）生起時，我如實知見其現起與滅去。當 vedanā 生起時，bhavaṅga 心會轉向 vedanā。「這是誰在經驗 vedanā 的增長？」我想知道這心的由來。於是我讓它安住在 vedanā 上，但它又離開了。以前這顆心與「我」混為一談，成了「我正在受苦」的錯覺。這就是與欲染（rāga）和煩惱（kilesa）糾纏的心。

那麼，這顆心是什麼？色與心是被觀對象，而觀照者則是正念（sati）。

我重新建立了入出息念（ānāpānasati），但不像以前那樣盲目地修行。各位必須明白：修行不能盲目從事（我正是一個很好的例子）。在毘婆舍那的修行中，存在著「真理智」（sacca ñāṇa）、「功能智」（kicca ñāṇa）、「成就智」（kata ñāṇa）與「如實智」（yathābhūta ñāṇa）（簡言之，即學習之智、實修之智、成果之智、如實知見之智）。我們必須加以分析與省察。我只是照著老師教的去做，卻不知道為什麼要這麼做；我不知道這對目標有什麼必要性；為何他叫我做這件事？他並未對我說明清楚。我也不知道其中的差異。若我這樣下去，永遠也無法證得法。為什麼要建立入出息念？因為佛陀正是以入出息念而成佛。法一定存在於入出息念的禪修之中。

我以自然的方式修習入出息念，憶念吸氣與呼氣的本質，覺知氣息觸及鼻孔的出入。這次我不是盲目地修「呼——吸、呼——吸」那樣，無目的地進行，而是以正念修習。細心而有正念地觀照從開始到結束的接觸性質。我以正念觀察氣息觸鼻之點，並覺知它的消失。這兩者並未結合——我是事後才知道它已生起，又事後才知道它已滅去（即無法即時於當下知覺）。於是我讓急促的氣息平穩下來，與正念協調。當它平穩後，我便在其剛剛生起與剛剛滅去之時覺知它。我渴望知道在這些現象中，是什麼讓「法」得以存在。

心路識（vīthicitta）在我知覺生滅時生起。當正念平衡時，不使其過多或過少，變得平穩時，我便能於氣息接觸點知其生起、知其消逝。接著，生命流（有分心，bhavaṅga citta）止息了（在緬語中說「落入有分」）。從氣息的接觸與覺知的生滅，它落入有分心狀態。那像是用扇子扇風一般——有分心震動著。法存在於入出息念之中，我讓心回到鼻孔的接觸點。有分心一震動，就將心拉回那裡。噢！那是什麼？我原本是在入出息念中尋找法，但某樣我不明白的東西正把心拉向有分心（緬語中簡稱為 bhavam）。我又讓心回到觀照接觸與消逝上。再者，我不像以前那樣盲修瞎練了。

你們所有人都要謹記：若在修行中遇到什麼現象，必須反省——為什麼會這樣？結果是什麼？等等。這種省察、觀察、反思的本性，是生起觀智的種子。所以，不可盲修瞎練；否則，你永遠無法達成目標。藉由正念，我知覺它的生滅，並以智慧（ñāṇa）觀察它；知覺之心在剎那中止息。我心想：如果它不待在我引導的位置，那就讓它待在自己要去的地方。於是我的正念停留在有分心。以前我不知道有分心及其存在。識生起、受生起……我觀察它們的生滅。當受生起時，原本於有分心的心便移向受。這是誰搞的鬼？是什麼意思？當我讓心停留在受上時，它是難以忍受的（上述歷程似與阿毘達摩所說的有分心與心路心交錯生滅類似）。

這是結果法，我不願它再次發生。這個心渴求法、畏懼鬼神、渴望涅槃、畏懼輪迴，它想要脫離輪迴。當它移向受時，它無法待住，而是因恐懼而逃離。有分心（胸口一帶）變得緊繃。這代表什麼？隨著受的增加，緊張感加劇。心在痛苦之中，也疲憊不堪。受的增長與下方無關，並非身體蘊的緣故（例如胸部緊繃）。當我省察其原因時，是因為心受苦而導致疲倦。這個身與心是相互運作的。如果心受苦，有分心便會緊繃；若心放鬆，有分心也會放鬆。此心與此身之間具備因果關係。

這些是觀智的歷程。對你們而言，這可能難以思惟，但它有其價值。若你們的智慧尚不具備省察的基礎，你們將不明白我在說什麼。走在毘婆舍那之道上，必須如此修習以培養智慧。我是為了令你們證得慧智而說法。你們必須觀察並認知其本質。在尚未修行之前，有分心並不緊繃。修行之後，受生起，導致有分心變得緊繃。如果心受苦，有分心就會緊繃；若心歡喜，有分心便放鬆。這心與有分心必定有因果關係。我不再重建入出息念，而是於有分心處照顧此心不令其緊張，同時照顧有分心不使其緊繃。

當受增長時，此心便欲逃逸。我警告它要如常安住，不可慌亂。身體按照其本分在改變，心也當履行其職分。儘管受愈加增長，［我以信與精進之力修行（saddhā 與 viriya）］終於有分心止息了。此心不必再照顧它，已與身分離。它不再與我相關，有分心變得清涼而喜悅。此前隨著受的增長，有分心緊繃，心也在痛苦之中。如今有分心放鬆，心也自在。即便受在增長，也僅是身體上的痛苦，不再是心靈上的痛苦。以往是因無法忍受緊繃、僵硬、麻木與痠痛而導致心苦。當時我錯怪了身體（即錯將痛苦歸咎於身體）。

這便是破除邪見，轉化為智慧知見。世間人當他們生病、頭痛、身痛、手痛時，總是認為是身體的問題。他們不了解實相（即「勝義」，paramatā），只知道不存在的概念（paññatti）。他們執取於非實有的身苦，起了貪愛（taṇhā）與邪見（diṭṭhi）。如今邪見已經止息。正因為這個色身（rūpa），受才生起，導致了邪見與錯誤認知。腿與膝蓋的痛並非真正的苦；苦與樂是發生於心中，因此應知「心」才是苦樂的因。

以往是執取於身，因而對它作出責難。事實上，苦不在身體，而在心中。從前修入出息念時，即使受在增長，只要心能停留於入出息念上，就能獲得安樂。身體依其本性運作。如今身體改變（動搖），心落入有分，心才從中解脫出來。這讓我更為振奮。身體並非主要因素，關鍵是心之苦與樂。貪與執取已經止息。那是什麼樣的貪、邪見與執取止息了呢？那是對於膝與腿的痛苦所生的邪見、對於身體的貪著與執取、對於手、腿、膝無法忍受的痛苦所生起的貪與執取——如今皆已止息。

當尊者這樣說時，我便明白：「法不是人給的，是依法修行而得法。」我思惟：「我現在這樣是因為依法修行所致，所以應當繼續修行。」

我繼續觀察這具身體，就像一團水泡不斷崩解，完全不穩定、無實體。我看著身體的部位不斷崩潰，就像熱油鍋中爆裂的芝麻，也像山崩地裂、風暴襲擊時大地震動、塵沙飛揚，內心生起強烈的怖畏。「這樣的五蘊之身實在不能依賴，我必須找一處超越它的地方。」

這時我開始觀察：「除了這苦蘊的崩解現象之外，是否還有不會崩壞的法存在？」於是我將觀智轉向尋找不崩壞、不散滅的法。漸漸地，心從色蘊的觀察中抽離，轉向尋找那不變的元素。當我轉向這樣觀察時，心極為明淨與平穩，生起一種清晰無染的體驗。

在這個狀態中，我體驗到沒有苦、沒有樂、也沒有我可得的境界，那種心的清明與輕安超越了以往的所有經驗，宛如踏入了一個沒有時間與變化的空間。此時的心完全不被色、受、想、行、識所染，處於一種極寂靜、極清明的狀態，沒有攀緣，也沒有欲求，只有純然的觀照與安止。

我知道這不是想像，也不是幻象，這是實實在在的解脫體驗。這正是我長久以來苦修所渴望的究竟之法。這不是依靠老師或他人給予，而是如尊者所言：「法自己會給你。」

從這個體驗出來後，我的心完全改變了。過去所追求的神通、天眼、化身等，都變得毫無意義。我知道它們不是真正的解脫，只是過程中的現象。唯有徹見五蘊無我、苦、無常，並超越它們，才能真正解脫。

後來我再回顧過去的一切修行、痛苦與疑惑，全都變成了資糧。如果我沒有經歷那些錯誤與辛苦，我就不會有這樣的轉折與洞見。

因此我現在教授學生時，一定會將這一切清楚說明，不讓他們如我當初一樣迷失、誤入歧途。我希望他們不要為了追求奇異境界而錯過了解脫之路，也希望他們明白：真正的法不在遠方，而是在現前這具五蘊中，在每一次的受、每一次的觸、每一次的觀照裡。

這就是我從尋法到得法的真實經歷，也是我願意一生守護與傳遞的法。

I thought he was leaving me alone and became in low spirits. I was looking at the whole body for where it would be freed, instead it was disintegrating. It was frightening, like the strong wind of a typhoon and a sand storm. I thought: “I have been looking for Dhamma but did not get it; and have only come across dukkha. I didn’t know that it was Dhamma, and Dukkha. Furthermore, I still didn’t know them as knowledge of dissolution, and knowledge of fear (i.e., bhaṅga ñāṇa, and bhaya ñāṇa). Later it was changed into very refined particles. This body had fallen apart like refined particles from a lump of flour. It seemed to me it would be burnt down into ashes by fire that made me in fear.

Without running away from it, I must look for the Dhamma in them. I was making an investigation on why it had to be disintegrated? This was knowledge of exploration coming in (sammasa ñāṇa). I couldn’t find the body, head, hand and feet of my physical body, instead a lump of particles (kalāpa). It was the perished body combined with fog, and dew particles, and my knowledge was changed. The cause dhamma of impermanent characteristic (anicca lakkhaṇa) that received the result of dukkha. This was still in mundane knowledge (lokiya ñāṇa). It was seeing the dissolution that became pain. What was dissolution?—with this inquiry I was concentrating on the particles (kalāpas) the size of a coin on the body. There, heat wave and cold wave were arising; among the particles, hot and cold particles arose intermittently, and the particles were collapsing and vanishing. Clinging to this body as head, hand, and feet, etc. actually it was not in that way. It was arising as hotness, coldness, tightness, stiffness.

It was happening as the four elements were combined. Clinging to the khandha body as mine was changed to insight knowledge of hotness, coldness, stiffness, tightness, etc. Therefore, yogis were saying as seeing the elements (dhātu). I couldn’t order these particles not to change—they were changing into hotness, coldness, etc. Craving(taṇhā) still not died, and not freed from dukkha yet. I was looking at them and wondered if their change would ever come to an end, but it didn't. Did pain exist in dissolution? Dissolution itself was not pain or suffering, and it was functioning according to its nature.

I attained this knowledge. This physical body became a lump of elements that it couldn’t be called as man, woman, etc. I discerned it as a lump of elements doing its duty according to its nature. I attained the knowledge that this was not me, man, woman, etc. With this discernment, I held my hand with the other hand—“This is my hand!”, and opened my eyes, and looked at the hand, but it couldn’t be confirmed as a hand because the hand had disappeared.

I only knew it as—natures of softness, hardness, coldness, etc. With the opened eyes, and looking at physical form only knowing the nature of seeing (not as man, woman, etc.). Holding the hand, and looking at it only seeing the nature of coolness, hardness, etc., but not seeing the hand. No-one taught me about insight knowledge (vipassanā ñāṇa). There was no clinging to the hand, body, leg, head, etc. These were the nature of elements. It was according to its own nature, and not me. With the knowledge of sabhāva form dhamma—natural phenomena of form (rūpa), suffering ceased. With the cessation of suffering, and knowledge (ñāṇa) was left behind it. Firstly, it was the characteristic of elements that it expressed the nature of elements.

Element was element, so the place of the hand was not the hand. Where was my hand gone now? This must be my hand, and making the accusation fervently. These were the differences between concepts of anicca, dukkha, anatta, and the wisdom of anicca, dukkha, anatta. Anatta means the finishing power of the atta. Can’t cling with atta is anatta. Even though I was making the accusation strongly as (it’s) hand, it’s still impossible. Knowledge (ñāṇa) expressed its own nature.

Hardness, softness, hotness, coldness existed as its intrinsic nature.

I was opening the eyes, holding the hand and making the accusation as my hand, but it was not possible that I only knew the hardness, softness, hotness, coldness, etc. The hand was not the hardness, coldness, etc. The concept of the hand, and hard, soft, hot, cold, etc. were no connection. (We can’t think about it with normal experience).

When opening the eyes, and looking at it, I was only seeing the color. This was not the hand. My hand was gone, and I was in low spirits.

我以為尊者拋下我不管了，內心頓時低落沮喪。我繼續觀察整個身體，想找出哪個部位能夠脫離（苦），卻只見它不斷崩解、瓦解，令人恐懼，就像颱風的狂風或沙塵暴一樣。我想：「我一直尋求法（Dhamma），卻無所獲；反而只遇到苦（dukkha）。」我並不知道這正是法，也是苦。我也還不知道，這其實是「壞滅智」與「怖畏智」（bhaṅga ñāṇa 與 bhaya ñāṇa）。後來，這身體變成極細微的粒子，如同麵粉崩散成的微塵。那一刻我感到，這身體彷彿即將被火燒成灰燼，令我內心生起恐懼。

我不再逃避，而是在這些現象中尋找法。我開始深入探究：「為什麼它會崩解？」這便是「探究智」（sammasa ñāṇa）的生起。我已經找不到自己身體的頭、手與腳，而只是見到一團粒子（kalāpa）——這是一個已經壞滅的色身，與霧氣、水滴般的粒子混合一體，我的知見因此改變。這種無常的現象法（anicca-lakkhaṇa）造成了苦果，這仍屬於「世間智」（lokiya ñāṇa）；我只是看見壞滅現象而感受到苦。那什麼是壞滅呢？我進一步探究，開始專注觀察身體上如硬幣大小的色粒（kalāpa），在那裡，有熱浪與冷流交替生起，粒子之間忽冷忽熱，接著崩散、消失。

對於「這是我的頭、手、腳」的執取，其實並不是那回事。所呈現的現象是熱、冷、緊、硬等感受。這是四大所造的組合體。原本執取為「我的身體」，現在轉變為觀見「熱、冷、硬、緊」的觀智。因此，修行者會說自己見到了「界」（dhātu）。我無法命令這些粒子不要變化——它們依然改變為熱、冷、緊等現象。貪愛（taṇhā）還未斷，仍未從苦中解脫。我觀察它們，心中想著：「這樣的變化會不會有止息的一天？」但它一直持續著。

那麼，苦存在於壞滅之中嗎？事實上，壞滅本身並不是苦，它只是依其本性在運作。我悟得了這一點。這個色身變成了一團「界」的總和，無法再稱之為男人、女人等。我明見它只是一團隨自性運作的「界」所組成的總合。我證得了這樣的智慧：這不是我，不是人，也不是女人。當我有這種觀知時，我用一隻手握住另一隻手說：「這是我的手！」然後睜開眼看著這隻手，卻無法再認定它是手，因為「手」已不復存在。

我所知的只是「冷、硬、軟」等性質。我睜開眼觀色法，僅知「見的作用」，而非「看見人或物」；握住那隻手，只是感知到冷、硬的特性，卻不再感覺那是「手」。沒有人教我這些內觀智（vipassanā ñāṇa）。對於手、身體、腳、頭等的執取早已消失，這些只是「界」的性質。它們依其自性運作，並非「我」。當我證得了這種「實相色法智」（sabhāva rūpa ñāṇa），苦便止息了；苦止息之後，智慧仍留存。

最初，是這些「界」的特性展現出它們的本然性。界即是界，所以「手」的位置，已不再是手。「那我手去哪裡了？」我對這問題執著不放，心中堅信「這就是我的手啊！」這便是「名相分別」（paññatti vs. paramatā）與「無常、苦、無我智」之間的差別。

「無我」（anatta）即是我執止息的智慧，無法再對「我」執取，這就是「無我」。即使我一再堅稱「這是我的手」，卻再也執取不起來了。因為智慧（ñāṇa）已經展現了事物的本然自性。

冷、熱、硬、軟只是其固有的性質，我睜開眼握住那隻手，堅持那是「我的手」，但再也無法確認它為「手」，只感知到冷、硬、軟等性質而已。原來，「手」不是冷、硬、軟等的總和。「手」的概念與「硬、軟、冷、熱」等性質本無聯繫。（我們用世俗經驗是無法理解這層差異的。）

當我睜開眼觀看，我只看見「色彩」；這不是手。「我的手」已經不見了，我因此再次感到失落低落……

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

我以為他要 छोड़下我，情緒低落。我觀察著整個身體，想知道它會在何處解脫，結果卻是它正在瓦解。那令人恐懼，就像颱風的強風和沙塵暴一樣。我想：「我一直在尋找佛法，卻沒有找到；只遇到了苦。我不知道那就是佛法和苦。此外，我仍然不知道它們是壞滅之智和怖畏之智（即 bhaṅga ñāṇa 和 bhaya ñāṇa）。」後來它變成了非常精細的微粒。這個身體像一團麵粉散開成精細的微粒一樣瓦解了。在我看來，它會被火燒成灰燼，這讓我感到恐懼。

不逃避它，我必須在其中尋找佛法。我正在調查為什麼它必須瓦解？這是探究之智（sammasa ñāṇa）的生起。我找不到我身體的頭、手和腳，而是一團微粒（kalāpa）。那是消逝的身體與霧和露珠微粒結合在一起，我的知識改變了。無常特徵（anicca lakkhaṇa）的因法接受了苦的結果。這仍然是世俗的知識（lokiya ñāṇa）。是看到瓦解而產生了痛苦。什麼是瓦解？——帶著這個疑問，我專注於身體上硬幣大小的微粒（kalāpas）。在那裡，熱浪和冷浪正在生起；在微粒之中，熱微粒和冷微粒間歇地生起，微粒正在崩潰和消失。執著這個身體是頭、手和腳等等，實際上並非如此。它生起為熱、冷、緊繃、僵硬。

它是四大的結合而發生的。執著這個蘊身是我的，轉變為熱、冷、僵硬、緊繃等等的內觀智慧。因此，瑜伽行者說他們看到了元素（dhātu）。我無法命令這些微粒不要改變——它們正在變成熱、冷等等。渴愛（taṇhā）仍然沒有死亡，也沒有從苦中解脫出來。我觀察著它們，想知道它們的變化是否會結束，但並沒有。痛苦存在於瓦解之中嗎？瓦解本身不是痛苦，它只是按照其本性運作。

我證得了這個知識。這個肉身變成了一團元素，不能稱之為男人、女人等等。我將它辨識為一團按照其本性履行職責的元素。我證得了這個不是我、男人、女人等等的知識。有了這個辨識，我用一隻手握住另一隻手——「這是我的手！」，然後睜開眼睛，看著手，但它無法被確認為手，因為手已經消失了。

我只知道它是柔軟、堅硬、寒冷等等的性質。睜開眼睛，看著色身，只知道看見的性質（不是男人、女人等等）。握著手，看著它，只看到涼爽、堅硬等等的性質，但沒有看到手。沒有人教我關於內觀智慧（vipassanā ñāṇa）。沒有對手、身體、腿、頭等等的執著。這些是元素的性質。它按照其自身的本性運作，而不是我。藉著自性法（sabhāva form dhamma）——色的自然現象的知識，痛苦止息了。隨著痛苦的止息，知識（ñāṇa）留在了後面。首先，是元素的特性表達了元素的本性。元素就是元素，所以手的位置不是手。我的手現在去哪裡了？這一定是我的手，並熱切地指責。這些是無常、苦、無我的概念與無常、苦、無我的智慧之間的區別。無我的意思是我的終結力量。無法執著於我就是無我。即使我強烈地指責（它是）手，那仍然是不可能的。知識（ñāṇa）表達了它自身的本性。

堅硬、柔軟、熱、冷作為其固有的本性而存在。

我睜開眼睛，握著手並指責它是我的手，但那是不可能的，我只知道堅硬、柔軟、熱、冷等等。手不是堅硬、寒冷等等。手的概念與堅硬、柔軟、熱、冷等等沒有聯繫。（我們不能用正常的經驗來思考它）。

睜開眼睛看著它時，我只看到顏色。那不是手。我的手不見了，我情緒低落。

Looking at it with the eyes and holding at it with the hand; and it was also impossible making the accusation. I was holding and saying as my robe. No! It was not, and only knowing the color nature (shape, form, image disappeared). I couldn’t make the accusation of it as a robe, and then I was squeezing my calf with the hand, and looking at it, and reciting as—the calf, the calf, etc., but couldn’t find it, instead it stopped at the color. The hand only knew its hardness, softness, hotness, coldness, and couldn’t find the calf of the leg. Back and forth, I was looking for it, and also reciting my mind at the heart. The world became up-side down, and from then on concept, and reality (paññatti, and paramatā) became different. (i.e., not mixing up, and becoming separate). The exposure of color and the concept of calf, were not mixed up. The exposure of hardness, softness, hotness, coldness, and the concept of calf were not mixed-up.

The world (loka) was happening in accordance with the determination of the mind. Loka disappeared. Where was loka? It happened by the mind. The mind saw as a man was determined by the mind on the color of form (rūpa). The mind took it as a man, accused it as a man, knew it as a man. The mind made the decision, and gave the answer. What is happening now? When with the eyes seeing the color of form couldn’t determine it with the concepts. It was stopped at the seeing of color of form (rūpa) which was real (paramatā). The nature of form (rūpa) didn’t tell us as man or woman, it was determined by the seeing mind (i.e., for worldling—puthujjana), now it was separated. This was knowing the real existence (paramatā) of all the sense objects of the five senses of the door (eye, ear…body). Non-existing conceptual objects were stopped. It couldn’t be given the names, and concepts to them. (The Buddha compared the mind-consciousnes with a magician. So, it deceives us all the time.)

Man, woman, dog, etc. were happening in the mind, and not in the outside or external. The world (loka) disappeared. The whole world was stopped. The existence of the world outside was the outcome of the inversions of the mind with wrong perception, wrong knowing, and wrong viewing. If all these distortions (inversion, perversion) ceased, there would be no existence of the world outside. If the mind was not determined as man, and the outside (external) was not man; not as tree, and the external was not tree, etc. These were the intrinsic nature of the elements. It was existing with their own nature, and not arriving to the concepts. It was like the following example—

A man was very poor, and in his dream he found a bag of gold coins on the road. He happily picked up the bag and another man saw it and shouted to him that he should have a share too. The poor man did not want to share with him, and ran with the gold bag, and the other following him behind. Unfortunately, the poor man stumbled down on the uneven road. The poor man woke up suddenly with a shock, and looking at his hand, and no gold bag with him. In the same way, if concept and reality (paññatti and paramatā) were separated the preceding knowledge was paramatā (reality), and the following one was concept. It was stopping at reality, and not knowing the concept. The physical form (rūpa) was not giving the concept, and only the mind giving it. One’s own mind was clinging, and believing in it that the world (loka) appeared. The external sense bases (āyatana) were form (rūpa) dhamma with its own nature. One’s own mind paid attention (manasikāra) to the arising form. Concept was mind dhamma, and reality (paramatā) was form (rūpa) dhamma. Concept and reality were separated, and stopped at paramatā (reality) of form. And then couldn’t see it as man, woman, etc. I opened my eyes looking at people, and not seeing them as nuns, because the mind determining it had ceased. The forms (i.e., nuns) with their own nature (i.e., color) so that nuns disappeared.

If looking at a dog its form (i.e., color) was expressing its own nature, and only the mind determined it that seeing as a dog. The mind making the concept ceased by seeing its stopping at the reality of the color (i.e., visible form paramatā). With the understanding that visible form (i.e., color) was not a dog. I have attained Dhamma now. Sayadawgyi (i.e., The-inn Gu) said that seeing man, and knowing as man, seeing dog, and knowing as dog, etc. was still not attaining the Dhamma yet.

Before, when I saw a man, I knew to regard it as a man. Now the visual form (color) was expressing its element nature, and the mind stopped at the ultimate form (paramatā rūpa).

Mind and form were separated, and form (rūpa) stayed on its own, giving the concept on it was mind dhamma. Form was not mind, and mind was not form; so mind and form were separate. This was a small stream enterer (cūḷa-sotāpanna). If someone penetrated beyond the concept, and reality became cūḷa-sotāpanna or mahā-sotāpanna. (now here—he was a cūḷa-sotāpanna, the insight process not ending yet).

If seeing and just at seeing; if hearing and just at hearing—on the hearing just knew its element nature, and not as a crow (i.e., the sound of a crow). If hearing the sound of a dog, and just at hearing, and not clung to the dog because knowledge (ñāṇa) preceded it, only knowing the changing nature, and after knowing it vanished.

When walking I put my feet on the ground, not knowing the ground but only the nature of the hardness, hardness and coldness of the visual form (color). It was not hand, and foot only the characteristic of form (rūpa), and element (dhātu). It was only expressing its own nature, just form paramatā.

After that, I took my alms-food. A nun came, and offered me some lemons. I liked the sour taste, so I paid attention to the mind with sour taste. But the mind ceased at paramatā dhamma, and do not arrive at non-existing concepts (i.e., sour taste, sweet, bitter, etc.). It was just knowing only with its expression.

With the preceding knowledge (ñāṇa) the mind making of sour ceased without existing (i.e., the concept of sour ceases without arising. The same as the mind ceased at feeling—vedanā, and not continuing to craving—taṇhā. Sayadaw’s emphasis is not on anicca which most teachers talk about. Instead, he is talking about the mind and mental process analytically). I was only knowing the changing paramatā of form, and not the taste of sour, sweet, etc. which was absent. But I knew all the nature of hardness, coldness, etc. which were shown by them. I didn’t make concepts or naming them. If I was naming them, it was wrong. Giving names to them was the mind and not form (rūpa). Form was not in the mind vice versa. Mind was not me, and also form was not me. They were expressing their nature.

Levels of insight knowledge will start here. I will not mention the levels of insight and only talk about their nature or characteristics.

If seeing the element nature of characteristics, he is a stream enterer. Discerning the concept and reality (paññatti, and paramatā) separately, this is what stream enterer does.

I knew the mind dhamma of saññākkhandha (aggregate of perception)—mind (here consciousness) and form (rūpa). This mind (i.e., consciousness) only knows the paramatā object, but saññā—perception which gave the concepts has ceased.

我睜開眼看著它、用手觸摸它，也無法再對它執取為「什麼」。我握著袈裟說：「這是我的袈裟」，不！不是的，只是知道它的「色」的本質（形狀、形象、影像都消失了）。我再也無法執取它為袈裟，接著我用手捏自己的小腿，一邊看著它，一邊念著：「小腿、小腿……」，但卻找不到它的存在，只停留在所見的色而已。我的手只能感受到硬、軟、熱、冷，但找不到「小腿」這個東西。

我反覆尋找它，並將念頭導向心臟區域。這時，我的「世界」整個翻轉，從那時開始，「概念」（paññatti）與「實相」（paramatā）開始區分、不再混淆。色的呈現（所見）與「小腿」的概念是分離的；硬、軟、冷、熱的呈現，與「小腿」的概念也不混合了。

整個「世界」（loka）是依心的決定而顯現的。現在，這個世界消失了。那「世界」在哪裡？原來是由心創造出來的。心在色法上決定它為「人」，然後執取為人、知覺為人，是心在下判斷並給出答案。那麼現在發生什麼事呢？當眼見色時，不再能以概念來決定它，心只是停在「見色」的當下，那是真實法（paramatā）。色的本質從來沒有說它是男人或女人，這是心在決定（這是凡夫的作用）；而今它們分離了。這是認知五根門所緣境的「實相」（paramatā rūpa）之智。虛妄的概念境（paññatti）已被止息，無法再將名詞與意義套用在它們上面。

（佛陀曾比喻「識」如魔術師，它總是欺騙我們。）

男人、女人、狗等等，其實都是「心」的構造，不是來自外在世界。現在，這個「世界」消失了，整個世界被止息了。外在世界的存在，其實是因心的顛倒錯覺而生，來自錯誤的知覺、錯誤的認識與錯誤的見解。若這些顛倒消失了，那麼外在世界就不復存在。

如果心不再決定「那是人」，那麼外在就不會是人；若心不說它是「樹」，那它就不是樹。這些只是四界的本性，它們只是以自性存在，並未成為概念。

這就如同下面這個譬喻：

有一個非常貧窮的人，在夢中於路上撿到一袋金幣，他高興地拾起來。這時另一人看到，喊道他應該要分享。貧者不願分給他，就抱著金幣逃跑，後面那人追著他跑。不幸地，貧者在顛簸的路上絆倒了，一驚之下醒了過來，看著手中什麼也沒有。

同樣地，若「名相」（概念）與「實相」（實法）分離了，前者的認知是paramatā（實相），後者是paññatti（概念）。它停在實相處，不再認知為概念。色法（rūpa）本身不給予任何概念，是心在賦予它。是自己的心執取與相信這些境界，「世界」才因此顯現。

外在六處（āyatana）只是色法，依自性存在。是自己的心作了「有意的注意」（manasikāra）並對色的生起執取。概念是「心法」，實相（paramatā）是「色法」。若兩者分離，並停在色的實相處，就不會再認為它是「男人」、「女人」等。我睜開眼看著人們，卻不再視她們為比丘尼，因為「心的決定作用」已停止。眼前的色只是色的自性，因此「比丘尼」也就消失了。

若看見一條狗，其形色只是顯現其色法自性，而視之為狗，是因心起了概念。現在，這心造作概念的作用已止息，識也止於色的實相（色的paramatā），明白「色」不是狗。

我現在已證得法了。正如尊者（The-inn Gu Sayadaw）所說：「看見人而知為人，看見狗而知為狗，仍未證得法。」

過去，當我看見人，就認定他是人；但現在色只是展現其自性，心則止於色的實相。

心與色法是分離的，色法依其本性存在，套上概念是心的作用。色不是心，心也不是色；心與色已分開。這就是「小入流者」（cūḷa-sotāpanna），若能超越概念境、進入實相，就成為「小入流者」或「大入流者」（mahā-sotāpanna）。而在此階段，我只是cūḷa-sotāpanna，觀智的過程尚未完成。

若見只是見、聞只是聞——聽聲音時，只知聲音的元素性質，而不是「烏鴉聲」。若聽到狗叫聲，也只知那是「聲音」，不再執取為狗，因為智慧（ñāṇa）在前，只知其變化性，了知後便滅。

走路時，我的腳踏在地上，並不知道那是「地面」，只知觸到的是「硬」或「冷」的色性而已。那不是手，也不是腳，只是色的特性與界的展現，它只是在呈現其自性——色的實相（rūpa paramatā）。

後來，我受用食物時，有一位比丘尼拿了幾顆檸檬來布施給我。我喜歡酸味，就特別注意起那「酸」的味道。然而，心卻止於法的實相（paramatā dhamma），並未延伸到非存在的「概念味道」（如酸、甜、苦等）。我只知它所展現的本質。

前行的智慧（ñāṇa）令造作「酸」的心不起（也就是「酸」這個概念未生即滅，正如心止於受，而不生起貪）。尊者強調的不是「無常」（anicca），這是其他導師常談的主題；而是透過分析心與心路歷程，進行內觀。

我只知色的變化性實相，而「酸、甜」等概念的味道並未出現。但我知道所有展現出來的「硬、冷」等性質，沒有為它們加上概念或命名。若我為它們命名，就錯了。給它命名的是「心」，不是「色」；色不在心中，心也不在色中。心不是我，色也不是我。它們只是展現其本性。

從這裡開始，就是觀智的層次。我不談「階段」本身，只談其本質與特性。

若有人能見到「元素的特性」，他就是「入流者」（sotāpanna）；能辨別概念與實相之別，這就是入流者所應具備的見。

我已知「想蘊」（saññākkhandha）的心法——心（識）與色（rūpa）。此心只能知「實相所緣」，而「給予概念的想蘊」已止息。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

用眼睛看它，用手握住它；而且也無法指責它。我拿著它說這是我的僧袍。不！它不是，只知道顏色的本性（形狀、形式、圖像都消失了）。我無法指責它是僧袍，然後我用手擠壓我的小腿，看著它，念誦著——小腿、小腿等等，但找不到它，反而停留在顏色上。手只知道它的堅硬、柔軟、熱、冷，找不到腿的小腿。來回尋找，我也在心中默念。世界顛倒了，從那時起，概念和實相（paññatti 和 paramatā）變得不同了（即不再混淆，而是分開了）。顏色的顯現和小腿的概念沒有混淆。堅硬、柔軟、熱、冷的顯現和小腿的概念也沒有混淆。

世界（loka）按照心的決定而發生。世界消失了。世界在哪裡？它是由心產生的。心看到一個人是由心在色的顏色上決定的。心把它當作一個人，指責它是一個人，知道它是一個人。心做了決定，並給出了答案。現在發生了什麼？當眼睛看到色的顏色時，無法用概念來確定它。它停留在色的顏色（rūpa）的看見上，那是真實的（paramatā）。色的本性並沒有告訴我們是男人還是女人，那是看見的心（即對於凡夫——puthujjana）決定的，現在它分開了。這是知道五根門（眼、耳……身）所有感官對象的真實存在（paramatā）。不存在的概念對象停止了。無法給它們命名和概念。（佛陀將識蘊比作魔術師。所以，它一直都在欺騙我們。）

男人、女人、狗等等都發生在心中，而不是在外面或外部。世界（loka）消失了。整個世界都停止了。外部世界的存在是心顛倒錯覺、錯誤認知和錯誤見解的結果。如果所有這些扭曲（顛倒、倒置）都停止了，外部世界就不會存在。如果心沒有將其決定為男人，那麼外部（外部）就不是男人；不是樹，那麼外部就不是樹等等。這些是元素的本性。它們以自身的本性存在，並沒有達到概念。這就像下面的例子——

一個非常貧窮的人，在夢中他在路上發現了一袋金幣。他高興地撿起袋子，另一個人看到了，並向他喊道他也應該分一杯羹。窮人不願與他分享，就拿著金袋跑了，另一個人則在後面追趕。不幸的是，窮人在不平的路上絆倒了。窮人突然驚醒，嚇了一跳，看著他的手，沒有金袋。同樣地，如果概念和實相（paññatti 和 paramatā）分開了，那麼先前的知識是勝義諦（實相），而後來的知識是概念。它停留在實相上，而不知道概念。色法（rūpa）並沒有給出概念，只有心給出概念。一個人的心執著並相信它，世界（loka）就顯現出來了。外部的六入處（āyatana）是具有自身本性的色法。一個人的心注意（manasikāra）生起的色法。概念是心法，而實相（paramatā）是色法。概念和實相分開了，停留在色的實相上。然後就無法將其視為男人、女人等等。我睜開眼睛看著人們，並沒有將他們視為比丘尼，因為決定它的心已經停止了。這些形式（即比丘尼）具有它們自身的本性（即顏色），所以比丘尼消失了。

如果看著一隻狗，它的形式（即顏色）表達了它自身的本性，只有心將其決定為看到一隻狗。心製造概念，透過看到它停留在顏色的實相（即可見色勝義諦）而停止。理解到可見色（即顏色）不是一隻狗。我現在已經證得了佛法。禪師尊者（即提因古）說，看到男人並知道是男人，看到狗並知道是狗等等，仍然沒有證得佛法。

以前，當我看到一個人時，我知道要將其視為一個人。現在，視覺形式（顏色）表達了它的元素本性，而心停留在究竟的形式（勝義諦色）上。

心和色分開了，色獨自存在，給予它的概念是心法。色不是心，心也不是色；所以心和色是分開的。這是一個小入流者（cūḷa-sotāpanna）。如果有人超越了概念，而實相成為了小入流者或大入流者。（現在——他是一個小入流者，內觀的過程還沒有結束）。

如果看見只是看見；如果聽見只是聽見——在聽見時只知道它的元素本性，而不是烏鴉（即烏鴉的聲音）。如果聽到狗的聲音，只是聽見，而沒有執著於狗，因為智慧（ñāṇa）先於它，只知道變化的本性，知道後它就消失了。

走路時，我把腳放在地上，不知道地面，只知道視覺形式（顏色）的堅硬、堅硬和寒冷的本性。那不是手和腳，只是色（rūpa）和界（dhātu）的特性。它只是表達它自身的本性，只是色勝義諦。

之後，我拿了我的托缽食物。一位比丘尼來了，給了我一些檸檬。我喜歡酸味，所以我注意到了帶有酸味的心。但是心停留在勝義諦法上，並沒有達到不存在的概念（即酸味、甜味、苦味等等）。它只是以其表達方式被知道。

藉著先前的智慧（ñāṇa），製造酸味的心在不存在的情況下停止了（即酸味的概念在沒有生起的情況下停止了。與心在感受（vedanā）處停止，而沒有繼續到渴愛（taṇhā）一樣。禪師強調的不是大多數老師談論的無常。相反，他分析地談論心和心理過程）。我只知道變化的色勝義諦，而不知道不存在的酸、甜等等的味道。但我知道它們所顯示的所有堅硬、寒冷等等的本性。我沒有製造概念或給它們命名。如果我給它們命名，那就是錯誤的。給它們命名的是心而不是色（rūpa）。色不在心中，反之亦然。心不是我，色也不是我。它們表達著它們的本性。

內觀智慧的層次將從這裡開始。我不會提到內觀的層次，只會談論它們的本性或特性。

如果看見特性的元素本性，他就是一位入流者。分別辨識概念和實相（paññatti 和 paramatā），這就是入流者所做的。

我知道想蘊（saññākkhandha，知覺的聚合）的心法——心（這裡指意識）和色（rūpa）。這個心（即意識）只知道勝義諦的對象，但給予概念的想——知覺已經停止了。

If hearing sound, and only knowing the hearing, but the mind which gave the concepts has ceased. The whole world was stopped. Man, tree, etc. were stopped, and disappeared. On Sunday buses came to the center, and children were coming in, and making noises. So I looked at the direction of the noises, and did not see humans. I didn’t know what it was? (i.e., overwhelm aniccas), I was dazed. The hearing of sound and the seeing of visual objects (i.e., color) were not mixed-up. It existed as the nature of seeing quality, and the nature of hearing quality. The concept and paramatā were separated.

The ignorance of concepts was ceased (i.e, avijjā paññatti), and became knowledge of perception (vijjā saññā).

It was expressing its form (rūpa) characteristics, with its own nature and changing (anicca). From the ignorant perception (avijjā saññā) it changed into wisdom knowledge (vijjā paññā). Form was changing, and the mind gave the paramatā perception.

It simply changed from avijjā saññā to vijjā paññā. It couldn’t kill the five khandhas yet it was the five khandhas changing into paramatā sense objects. The dhamma of hotness, coldness, etc. which I was talking about by using the concepts in reality it was changing and vanishing. I was not naming it with concepts. If a paramatā dhamma arose, and the mind knew it. And the mind changed. I didn’t give the concept of the form paramatā. Every time form arises, the mind knows it. It was not form, and it must be the mind (i.e., nāma—name) nāma-dhamma, because the mind knowing the paramatā has ceased. Why every time it was arising and knowing it? What was this? The mind was changing in stages. Before, I was seeing the form (rūpa) with the aggregate of perception (saññākkhandha). Knowing that each changing of form was not my knowing and not me. The mind stayed with the element (form) which was arising, on the right knee the form of aches arose.

I had mindfulness on it, from here who was the one changing to another form? What did it mean? I was observing it with the desired knowledge. Every time form arising, I was catching it with mindfulness (i.e., hotness, coldness, tenseness, etc.)

Before, I was contemplating form. When concept and paramatā were separated perception stopped, so there was no form for contemplation. Now, every time form arising, only I knew it. Over two days I was contemplating in this way. My body became tired because I practiced the whole night (i.e., 24 hours) without sleep.

I was over exerted, and maybe I couldn’t attain the Dhamma. I put down my saddhā and conceit. In the world, people are looking for what they desire. Whatever searching with desire is mundane (lokiya). On supramundane Dhamma (lokuttara) we can’t do it with desire. Contemplated with desire is greed (lobha), and not knowing it is delusion (moha). These are sassata (eternal), and uccheda (extinction) two wrong view (diṭṭhi). We must contemplate how to free ourselves from these two extremes. I had the desire to know what kind of mind (nāma) knew this form?

After I put down my conceit (māna); changing was one thing, the mind (nāma) inclining toward the changing was another thing, and the contemplative mind was another. It was separated into three things. Did I see the mind and body? It was not like what you see when you look at the body. For example, with ānāpānasati—on touching and knowing. Does it mean knowing of the touching? Or does it mean knowing of both (i.e., touching, and knowing)? Or does it mean touching is one thing, and knowing is another? It needs to be differentiated. These are the records to check oneself for Dhamma attainment.

Form (rūpa) was changing nature. Mind (nāma) was inclining toward form. I was seeing its inclining nature directly. Sati—mindfulness was watching it. Before I couldn’t differentiate I and mind (nāma) which knew the changing of form. I thought that's how I knew it. Now I knew that it was not my knowing. Changing was form, inclining toward it was not me, and it was mind dhamma. The wrong view of me, and others fell away.

Seeing in a pair of the changing form and the inclining mind is called discerning of mind, and form. Seeing mind, and form directly was called discerning of mind, and form.

Changing was form, and giving the perception was mind, this was one pair.

I have seen two pairs now. I was forcing the mind on the right knee toward the left knee, then my bhavaṅga (i.e., heart area) became tense.

I couldn’t create the inclining mind, it was not-self (anatta) nature. The mind at the right knee ceased, and another mind arose at the left knee. With the cessation of the mind on the right side and another mind was arising on the left side. Not-self (anatta) nature appeared because with the cessation of the preceding mind, a new mind arose. The changing nature was form, the inclining nature was mind; so mind and form—not me, not him, and not a soul. Form changed stage by stage, the mind also changed with inclination stage by stage. Only by knowing these things, one really discerned the five khandhas. Changing was form dhamma, and inclining was mind dhamma, and after inclining what could it do? I had to follow the five khandhas until the path knowledge of stream entry. No-one came and taught me. It was the connection of “cause and effect” with their own nature. What were the things in the khandha? Everything that was there had to come out. These were insight knowledges.

若聽到聲音，只知「聽聞」的現象，賦予概念的那個心已止息，整個「世界」也就停止了。人、樹等一切事物都止息、消失了。

星期日，有幾輛巴士來到禪修中心，許多小孩湧入、喧鬧，我朝聲音傳來的方向望去，卻沒看見「人」，我不知道那是什麼？（這是一種被「無常」所壓倒的體驗），我陷入一種迷茫的狀態。

「聲音」的聽覺與「色」的視覺並未混淆，它們只是「聽知的本質」與「見知的本質」的展現。概念（paññatti）與實相（paramatā）彼此分離了。

對概念的無明（avijjā paññatti）已止息，轉為「正知的想」——即「智慧的知覺」（vijjā saññā）。

色法以其自性展現，不斷變化（無常，anicca）。原先無明的知覺（avijjā saññā）轉變為智慧知見（vijjā paññā）。色法不斷變化，而心則給予它「實相知覺」。

這只不過是從無明的知覺轉為智慧知見而已，雖尚未摧毀五蘊，但已將五蘊觀為實相的所緣。那些我曾以概念描述的熱、冷等法，其實不斷地變化與滅去。

我並未賦予它們任何概念。若有實相法（paramatā dhamma）生起，心便了知它，而心也因此而轉變。我不再將「色法的實相」命名為任何概念。

每當色法生起，心便知道它。這不是色法，而是心法（nāma-dhamma），因為「知實相的心」也會止息。為何每次色法生起，都能被知道？這是什麼？這顯示「心」也在分階段地變化。

先前，我是透過「想蘊」（saññākkhandha）來見色，現在則是認知到：每一個色法的變化，皆不是我在知道，也不是「我」。心只是停留在當下生起的色法上。

例如：右膝生起痛的色法，我就以正念觀照它。接著我思惟：是誰在從這裡轉變為另一個色法？這是什麼意思？我正以渴望智慧的心來觀察它。

每當色法生起，我就以正念捕捉它（如熱、冷、緊、硬等現象）。過去我只是在觀照色法，但當概念與實相分開之後，連「知覺」也止息了，於是就沒有了「色可觀」。

現在，每當色法生起，我只是「知」。我這樣地持續觀察了兩天。由於整晚都未曾入眠地修行，我的身體也變得疲憊。

我已過度用功，甚至覺得自己可能無法證得法。我放下了自己的「信心」與「慢心」。世人總是在尋找自己想要的東西，而凡夫的欲求（即貪）所推動的尋求都是世間法（lokiya）。

對於出世間法（lokuttara），我們無法以「欲望」來修得。若以欲望來修行，便是貪（lobha），而不知其錯，就是癡（moha）。這兩者分別是「常見」（sassata）與「斷見」（uccheda）這兩種錯誤見解（diṭṭhi）。我們應當觀照如何從這兩種極端中解脫出來。

我心中生起了想要知道「是什麼樣的心（nāma）」在知這個色法？當我放下慢心後，便見到三個分離的法：

• 變化的是一件事，

• 心向變化傾向是另一件事，

• 作為觀察者的心又是另一件事。

這三者分離了。

我看到「心與色」了嗎？這不像你平常所見的那種「身體」。

舉例來說：以安那般那念（ānapānasati）為例——是「觸知」的心嗎？或者，是「觸」與「知」合為一體的嗎？還是「觸是一件事、知是另一件事」？必須進行分辨。這些是修行中自我檢查是否證得法的指標。

色法是「變化的本質」，而心法是「傾向於色法」的本質。我是親身看到它傾向的特性。正念（sati）在觀察它。

過去，我無法區分「我」與那個知「色的變化」的「心」。我總以為那是我在知道。現在我知道，那不是我的「知」。變化是色，傾向的是心——都是法，不是我，也不是他，更不是某個「靈魂」。

色法逐步地變化，心法也一步步地隨傾向而變化。只有在真正認識這些法後，才能真正了知「五蘊」。

變化是色法，傾向是心法；那麼傾向之後它又能做什麼？我必須追隨這五蘊，直到證得「入流道智」（sotāpatti magga ñāṇa）。

沒有人來教導我，這是因「因果法則」所成的內在聯結——各法依其自性運作。蘊中有什麼？蘊中有的都必須被揭示出來。這些便是「觀智」（vipassanā ñāṇa）。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

如果聽到聲音，只知道聽見，但給予概念的心已經停止了。整個世界都停止了。男人、樹等等都停止並消失了。星期天，巴士來到中心，孩子們進來，發出噪音。所以我朝著噪音的方向看去，沒有看到人類。我不知道那是什麼？（即壓倒性的無常），我茫然了。聲音的聽見和視覺對象（即顏色）的看見沒有混淆。它以看見的性質和聽見的性質存在。概念和勝義諦分開了。

概念的無知止息了（即無明概念，avijjā paññatti），變成了知覺的知識（vijjā saññā）。 它以其自身的本性和變化（無常）表達其色（rūpa）的特性。從無知的知覺（avijjā saññā）變成了智慧的知識（vijjā paññā）。色在變化，而心給予了勝義諦的知覺。 它只是從無明概念轉變為明智概念。它還無法消滅五蘊，但它是五蘊轉變為勝義諦的感官對象。我之前用概念談論的熱、冷等等的法，在實相中正在變化和消失。我沒有用概念來命名它。如果一個勝義諦法生起，心知道它。而心改變了。我沒有給予色勝義諦的概念。每次色生起，心都知道它。它不是色，它一定是心（即名，nāma）名法，因為知道勝義諦的心已經停止了。為什麼每次它都生起並被知道？這是什麼？心在階段性地變化。以前，我用想蘊（saññākkhandha）看見色（rūpa）。知道色的每次變化都不是我的知覺，也不是我。心停留在生起的元素（色）上，在右膝蓋上生起了疼痛的色。

我對它有正念，從這裡，誰在變成另一種形式？那是什麼意思？我以渴望的知識觀察它。每次色生起，我都以正念抓住它（即熱、冷、緊繃等等）。 以前，我觀照色。當概念和勝義諦分開時，知覺停止了，所以沒有色可以觀照。現在，每次色生起，只有我知道它。我這樣觀照了兩天多。我的身體疲憊不堪，因為我整夜（即 24 小時）沒有睡覺。 我過度勞累了，也許我無法證得佛法。我放下了我的信心和驕慢。在世間，人們尋找他們所渴望的。任何帶著渴望的尋找都是世俗的（lokiya）。在出世間法（lokuttara）上，我們不能帶著渴望去做。帶著渴望觀照是貪婪（lobha），不知道它是愚癡（moha）。這些是常見（sassata）和斷見（uccheda）兩種邪見（diṭṭhi）。我們必須思考如何從這兩個極端中解脫出來。我渴望知道是什麼樣的心（nāma）知道這個色？ 在我放下我的驕慢（māna）之後；變化是一回事，心（nāma）傾向於變化是另一回事，而觀照的心又是另一回事。它被分成了三件事。我看到身和心了嗎？它不像你看身體時所看到的那樣。例如，透過安那般那念——在觸碰和知道上。這意味著知道觸碰嗎？還是意味著知道兩者（即觸碰和知道）？還是意味著觸碰是一回事，而知道是另一回事？這需要區分。這些是檢查自己是否證得佛法的記錄。

色（rūpa）是變化的本性。心（nāma）傾向於色。我直接看到了它傾向的本性。念（sati）——正念在觀察它。以前我無法區分我和知道色變化的心（nāma）。我以為那就是我知道它的方式。現在我知道那不是我的知覺。變化是色，傾向於它不是我，它是心法。我見和他見的邪見消失了。 看見一對變化之色和傾向之心，稱為辨識名色。直接看見心和色，稱為辨識名色。 變化是色，給予知覺是心，這是一對。 我現在已經看到了兩對。我強迫心從右膝蓋傾向於左膝蓋，然後我的有分（即心臟區域）變得緊張。 我無法創造傾向的心，那是無我（anatta）的本性。右膝蓋的心停止了，另一個心在左膝蓋生起了。隨著右邊的心停止，另一個心在左邊生起了。無我（anatta）的本性顯現出來，因為隨著先前的心停止，一個新的心生起了。變化的本性是色，傾向的本性是心；所以心和色——不是我，不是他，也不是靈魂。色階段性地變化，心也階段性地隨著傾向而變化。只有知道這些，一個人才能真正辨識五蘊。變化是色法，傾向是心法，傾向之後它能做什麼？我必須跟隨五蘊直到入流道的智慧。沒有人來教我。那是「因果」與它們自身本性的聯繫。蘊中是什麼？所有在那裡的東西都必須出來。 這些是內觀智慧。

The mind was after its inclining, and feeling with good or bad. The five senses of the door contacted the five sense objects, and phenomena were arising. Then the mind was inclining toward them, and feeling the objects as good or bad (e.g., when seeing, hearing, smelling, etc.). What happens when contemplating the mind of good or bad? Watching with the knowledge (ñāṇa), and when arrived at one pointed samādhi (ekaggatā samādhi) found out the feeling nature of vedanā.

In the 12 links of dependent co-arising (paṭiccasamuppāda) vedanā there is this one, no pleasant or unpleasant (sukha, and dukkha) feelings, and just feel only.

Form was changing, the mind inclining toward it, and feeling it. I couldn’t find a person a being, man and woman there, even with more time of contemplation, and observation it became more, and more clear as not a person, not a being. In the present, the mind and form combine and function together according to their own nature.

What happened by getting this form? It was impossible didn’t want to see, hear, and know, etc. After feeling the object, what other things the mind, and body had? I continued to observe, and it came to an end, and there was nothing to it. It was stopped at vedanā. After feeling, and it was vanishing, I only had this. Could I throw away this feeling? No! I couldn’t. It was like carrying a burdened load. I was becoming in fear of the impermanence of vedanā (i.e., arising, and vanishing). It was—(changing, and feeling it, and then vanishing)—on, and on like this. (i.e., form changing, vedanā feeling it, and then passing away). It was painful seeing its dissolution (dukkha). In regard to vedanā I got the knowledge on dukkha. What did it do after dukkha?

With the observation—it was in dissolution, and ceased. So wrong view (diṭṭhi) fell away on feeling (vedanā). This was not arrived at path knowledge yet (magga ñāṇa).

It was not freed from vedanā that focusing the knowledge (ñāṇa) on the dissolution (i.e., bhaṅga), and at the bhavaṅga (heart or chest area) it was vibrating three times, and ceased.

At the mind door (hadaya vatthu—heart base) found out the element mind of consciousness (i.e., mana viññāṇa-dhātu). I know, I know—what do I know? And how do I know it?

This is important. Mind door was clear, and transparent. Mind consciousness (mana viññāṇa) was knowing. Form (rūpa) also was a clear element. Mind dhamma was knowing.

What did it know? It was not knowing white or black, man or woman, and just only knowing. I was sitting with my closed eyes when the bhavaṅga vibrating three times, and the eyes opened. And then I heard the sound of a crow—arhh! Arhh! The mind was inclining toward the sound. How did it appear in the knowledge (ñāṇa)?

It was appearing in the knowledge as the form dhamma of “arhh!” (i.e., at the ear door), and the knowing “arhh!” of mind dhamma (i.e., at the mana dvāra—mind door). Before, what we were knowing was—seeing is form and knowing is mind; hearing is form and knowing is mind, etc. This is not true. After the three bhavaṅgas ceased, one was able to contemplate mind consciousness (viññāṇa)

(Sometimes, we are using language as not very accurate, e.g., here seeing is form should be—seeing is visual form or object, knowing of visual form or object is mind, etc. Here Sayadaw’s experience supported the teaching in the Abhidhamma. When we see a visual form it appears at two doors—i.e., the eye-door, and mind-door; sound also in the ear-door, and mind-door, etc. If we contemplate a sound, the mind should not go out to the outside where the sound comes from. The mind should be at the ear, if not we are contemplating at the wrong place. As a teaching theory teachers are talking—seeing is visual form, and knowing of visual form is mind, etc. That is also true, not wrong. We can also contemplate them separately, e.g., sound object at the ear, and knowing mind object of the sound at the heart area, etc. Contemplating together as above-mentioned is another thing. This is dependent on the context.)

Arhh! Arhh! was form dhamma and mind dhamma. This was knowing mind, and form. Before was form, and perception (rūpa, and saññā). Now was clear form dhamma (eye, ear, nose, tongue, and body-doors), and clear bhavaṅga form dhamma (i.e., mind-door). The elements of earth (paṭhavī), water (āpo), etc. ceased, and at the clear from of ear arhh! sound, and at the bhavaṅga arhh! Knowing element appeared. [It was quite significant—arhh! was form (sound) and arhh! also the knowing mind.] Both of them were arhh! Before what I heard was hearing is form, and knowing is mind. This is mixing them up.

So in ānāpāna it should be—touching is form, and touching is mind. It is not—touching is form, and knowing is mind. (Here was an interpretation problem—it should be— touching is form, and knowing the touching is mind). These were seeing nature, and knowing the seeing nature. It was not known as body, head, hand, and feet. Touching was form dhamma, and knowing the touching was mind dhamma. So this body was a lump of clear element, and a lump of knowing element.

This was not a person, not a being and not a soul. Looking at wherever there was, knowing exists—these are touching nature, and knowing nature. Carefully observing with mindfulness (sati) it was not knowing the sound coming from there (i.e., external). At hearing the sound with the ear—every time hearing form, and knowing the hearing were arising (i.e., form, and mind), when looking at bhavaṅga, and saw the contact (phassa) was arising.

I don’t know the texts (i.e., suttas), and Thinn-gyo (the Burmese Abhidhamma text of Abhidhammattha Saṅgaha). Fire element was arising when the hand touched the gas lighter. With the vibrations of bhavaṅga, and the mind was inclining toward it.

For example, from outside when the sound of the crow arhh! arising, and didn’t know the outside sound. The sound came, and contacting the clear element of ear was seen with mindfulness by looking at the bhavaṅga. From the outside was one arhh!, at the clear element of the ear was one arhh! And at the clear element of bhavaṅga was one arhh!, so three arhh! Every time mind, and form arising found the contact (phassa) which inclining to the bhavaṅga. There was a current of inclination. At the clear mana element (mind element) a mind, and form arose.

心在傾向（傾注）之後，會對境產生「喜或不喜」的受。五門接觸五種所緣，諸法就這樣生起了。然後心便向這些境傾注，感受這些所緣為「好」或「不好」（例如見、聞、嗅等過程）。

若觀察這種「喜或不喜的心」，以智慧（ñāṇa）觀察，當定力達到「一境性三摩地」（ekaggatā samādhi）時，就能發現「受的本質」。

在十二因緣之中，「受」（vedanā）便是指這一點——既不是樂受（sukha），也不是苦受（dukkha），只是「感受而已」。

色法在變化，心傾向它，並對它感受。無論我怎麼觀照、探尋其中「人、眾生、男、女」的存在，也都無從發現。甚至觀照得越久、觀察越深，越能明白其中沒有「人」與「我」的存在。

現前的當下，名與色只是各自依其自性在運作罷了。

那麼，得到了這個「色身」之後究竟會發生什麼？我發現自己無法不見、無法不聞、也無法不知。感受完畢之後，心與身還有其他作用嗎？我持續觀察，直到一切都結束了，什麼都沒有了——一切止於「受」。

受之後便滅去，我只剩這一點。我可以丟棄這個「受」嗎？不行！我無法丟掉它，就像背著一個沉重的負擔一樣。

我開始對這「無常的受」生起畏懼——它一直在「變化、被感受、然後消失」……不斷地循環。

（也就是說：色在變化、受在感受，然後一起消失）

觀看這樣的「壞滅」令人感到痛苦（dukkha）。在受的這個層面，我生起了對「苦」的智慧。

苦之後又如何呢？

透過觀察，我見到了「壞滅」與「止息」。於是對「受」的邪見（diṭṭhi）滅除了。這還沒達到「道智」（magga ñāṇa），但已是一步。

還未從「受」中解脫出來，因此我將智慧（ñāṇa）集中於「壞滅相」（bhaṅga）之上。

當我觀至「心流」（bhavaṅga，心所依處）時，它震動了三次後止息。

在「心門」（hadaya vatthu，心所依處）上，我找到了「識界」（mana viññāṇa dhātu）。

我知道，我知道——那麼我知道的是什麼？我如何知道？這很重要！

心門是清淨與透明的。「意識」是「了知」的，「色法」是清淨的色性，「名法」是知的性質。

那麼，它知道的是什麼？它不是知道「黑」或「白」，也不是知道「男人」或「女人」，只是單純地「了知」。

當我閉眼而坐時，心流震動三次，然後眼睛打開。我聽到烏鴉叫聲：「啊～啊～！」——心傾向那聲音。

那這個聲音在我的智慧（ñāṇa）中如何呈現呢？

它在智慧中呈現為——一個「色法」的 arhh！（也就是耳門的所緣）以及一個「名法」的 arhh！（即意門所知）

過去我們常說：「見是色，知是心；聞是色，知是心……」其實那是不正確的。

當三個心流止息之後，就能直接觀照「意識」（viññāṇa）本身。

（有時候，我們語言用法不夠精確：例如「見是色」應該說「所見之色是所緣」，「知見此色的是心」等。這段經驗正好呼應《阿毘達摩》的教導——當我們見到某色法，它實際上是在「兩門」中出現：眼門與意門；聲音也是耳門與意門皆有所觸。若我們觀察聲音，心不該向外尋找聲音來源，而是要留意「耳門所觸」。否則便是錯誤的觀法。）

因此，arhh！（啊～）既是色法，也是名法。這就是「名與色」的了知。

過去是「色與想」——現在是明確的色法所緣（眼、耳、鼻、舌、身），與明確的心流色法（意門）。地、水、火、風四界止息了；在耳門中出現清楚的 arhh！（聲音色法），在心門中出現清楚的「知arhh！」（名法）。

這是相當重要的體驗——arhh！同時是「色」與「心」。

過去我們所理解的「聽」是色，「知」是心——這樣的說法其實是將兩者混在一起了。

因此，在修安那般那念時，我們應說：「觸是色，知觸是心」——不能說「觸是色，觸是心」。（此處主要在說語言理解上的問題。）

這是「見相」、「知見相」的分別。不是「頭、身、手、腳」這些東西，而是觸是色法，知觸是心法。所以這身體只是：

▶ 一團「清淨的元素」，

▶ 以及一團「能知的元素」。

這既非人、非眾生，亦無靈魂（無我）。

我觀照著，每個地方都是「觸的性質」與「知的性質」的顯現。若以正念細觀，就會發現——我們不是「知覺到從外來的聲音」，而是「在耳處」直接知聲音的現起。

每一次的「聽」當中，色法與心法一同生起。

當我觀察「心流」，我見到「觸」（phassa）生起。

我不懂經典（如經藏），也不懂《親教》（阿毘達摩的《阿毘達磨撮要》Thinn-gyo，緬語拼法）。

當手碰到打火機時，火界就生起了。心流也震動，心隨之傾向。

例如，從外面來了一聲烏鴉的「arhh！」，我並不知道外面聲音的詳細內容，而是看到聲音來接觸耳根的清淨元素時，透過觀照「心流」而知覺它。

外在有一個「arhh！」；耳根的清淨色中有一個「arhh！」；心門的清淨色中也有一個「arhh！」——共三個「arhh！」

每次「名色」生起，便會看到一個接觸（phassa）傾向心流而去，有一種傾流的動向。

在清淨的「意元素」（mana-dhātu）處，名與色法一同生起。

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

心在傾向之後，會感受好或壞。五根接觸五境，現象就生起了。然後心傾向於它們，並將對象感受為好或壞（例如，當看、聽、聞等等時）。當觀照好或壞的心時會發生什麼？以智慧（ñāṇa）觀察，當達到一心三昧（ekaggatā samādhi）時，發現了感受（vedanā）的感受本性。

在十二因緣（paṭiccasamuppāda）的感受支中，有這樣一個，沒有樂受和苦受（sukha 和 dukkha），只有感受而已。

色在變化，心傾向於它，並感受它。我找不到那裡有任何人或眾生、男人和女人，即使經過更長時間的觀照和觀察，它也越來越清楚地不是人，不是眾生。在當下，心和色按照它們自身的本性結合並一起運作。

得到這個色身會發生什麼？想要看、聽、知等等是不可能的。感受對象之後，心和身還有什麼？我繼續觀察，它結束了，沒有什麼了。它停留在感受上。感受之後，它消失了，我只有這個。我可以丟掉這個感受嗎？不！我不能。這就像背負著沉重的負擔。我開始害怕感受的無常（即生起和消失）。它是——（變化，感受它，然後消失）——像這樣持續不斷。（即色變化，感受感受它，然後消逝）。看到它的壞滅（苦）是痛苦的。關於感受，我得到了關於苦的知識。苦之後它做了什麼？

透過觀察——它在壞滅中，並停止了。所以關於感受（vedanā）的邪見（diṭṭhi）消失了。這還沒有達到道智（magga ñāṇa）。

它沒有從感受中解脫出來，而是將智慧（ñāṇa）集中在壞滅（即 bhaṅga）上，在有分（心或胸部區域）它振動了三次，然後停止了。

在心門（hadaya vatthu——心所依處）發現了意識的元素心（即 mana viññāṇa-dhātu）。我知道，我知道——我知道什麼？我如何知道它？

這很重要。心門清明透明。心識（mana viññāṇa）正在知曉。色（rūpa）也是一個清明的元素。心法正在知曉。

它知道什麼？它不知道白色或黑色，男人或女人，只是知道而已。我閉著眼睛坐著，當有分振動三次時，眼睛睜開了。然後我聽到烏鴉的叫聲——arhh！Arhh！心傾向於那個聲音。它如何在智慧（ñāṇa）中顯現出來？

它在智慧中顯現為「arhh！」的色法（即在耳門），以及心法「arhh！」的知曉（即在意識之門——mana dvāra）。以前，我們所知道的是——看是色，知是心；聽是色，知是心等等。這是不對的。在三個有分停止之後，一個人能夠觀照心識（viññāṇa）（有時，我們使用的語言不是很準確，例如，這裡的看是色應該是——看是可見的色或對象，知道可見的色或對象是心等等。這裡禪師的經驗支持了阿毗達摩的教導。當我們看到一個可見的色時，它出現在兩個門——即眼門和心門；聲音也出現在耳門和心門等等。如果我們觀照一個聲音，心不應該跑到聲音來自的外部。心應該在耳朵，否則我們在錯誤的地方觀照。作為教學理論，老師們說——看是可見的色，知道可見的色是心等等。那也是對的，沒有錯。我們也可以分別觀照它們，例如，耳朵的聲音對象，以及心臟區域聲音的知曉心對象等等。如上所述一起觀照是另一回事。這取決於語境。）

Arhh！Arhh！是色法和心法。這是知曉心和色。以前是色和想（rūpa 和 saññā）。現在是清明的色法（眼、耳、鼻、舌和身門），以及清明的有分色法（即心門）。地（paṭhavī）、水（āpo）等元素停止了，在清明的耳的「arhh！」聲中，以及在有分的「arhh！」知曉元素中顯現出來。[這非常重要——「arhh！」是色（聲音），「arhh！」也是知曉的心。]它們都是「arhh！」以前我聽到的是聽是色，知是心。這是將它們混淆了。