尊者 阿締佳嵐溪長老開示錄
Eighteen Days in Solitude
– Instructional Dhamma Talks in Retreat
By Venerable U Ādiccaramsī
尊者 鄔達摩長老Bhikkhu Uttamo
自緬甸語錄音帶譯為 英文
第 17 天 (參考用譯文)
特別聲明：本參考用譯文疏漏、錯繆難免，讀者應慎思明辨。僅供法友參考；並祈藉此拋磚引玉，眾法友能共襄盛舉，共同圓滿此譯事。 Nanda 謹識。
It’s important to think about that today we’re closer to the top of the mountain, and have to practice hard. The retreat will finish tomorrow and could I attain the Dhamma? Is it possible for me? All these thoughts can come in. If it comes in have to be aware that it’s diṭṭhi. I’m talking a lot on diṭṭhi and the yogis become confusion. Then you may ask; “Ven. Can’t we free from diṭṭhi?” Yesterday a laywoman said to me; “Ven. Sir, shouldn’t we battle with it for winning?” Why should you battle for winning? It’s wanting for success. What is wanting? Wanting is greed – lobha. Then I told to her; “Don’t want to win and also don’t want to lose.” Middle way means stay away from the two extremes.
In the Dhammapada, the Buddha said about not winning and not losing. Then how should we do it? We have to practice to become someone who abandons winning and losing, because both of them have the self view. The winner could have danger. (Some years ago, in the west, an ice-skate champion’s leg were broken by a thug. This man was hired by another skater who had lost the competition.) He will think of when the loser will fight me back; whereas the loser has stress. Someone who abandons both is happy. At that time the mind can be in the state of imbalance (i.e., with the extremes). Samādhi decreases. Climb to the top in a normal way and you’ll arrive there. If you stop or slow down and not arrive there. Ledi Sayadawgyi had said before, you just soaked the beans in the water and when the time was ripe it would expand (i.e., a type of large bean common in Burma).
In the world all the phenomena have their times. You plant a mango tree and want it to bear fruits tomorrow is impossible. In the winter wanting it to bear fruits also impossible. It’ll bear fruits in the summer time. Performing our tasks is also in the same way. It’ll finish when the time is ripe. There was a Hindu story. A gardener domesticated a monkey at home. One day he had a business to go somewhere and instructed the monkey; “I have planted some small plants. You need to water them to take roots.” The monkey was intelligent and watering the small plants every day. After watering them for sometimes, it came back to pulled them out to check the roots; and then planted them back into the soil. If the monkey did it like that the plants would never take roots.
The Buddha and Sayadawgyi (i.e., Mogok Sayadaw) had said that the yogis should do like someone rubbing two pieces of bamboos to get fire. After rubbing for sometimes become tired but the fire still not coming out yet. So, I’ll rest for awhile. Here also you’re working hard and still not seeing Nibbāna yet. We’re tired now and should have a rest. After rejuvenate our strength and continue it. Now, I already have heard some voices like this from you: “I will continue with this together in the future if I don’t get it now”. It shows the sign of low spirits. During the time of rubbing the bamboos for fire and become tired, then resting for a while and continue will never get the fire. Therefore whatever it may be, wanting to get the fire has to continuously rub the bamboos from the beginning to the end until it comes out.
Sayadawgyi said that arriving to the knowledge of disenchantment would know the uselessness of the khandha and would you want it again (i.e., disgusting and useless – without essence). Not wanting is the most important point. By getting the khandhas, bones were piling up like mountains. I want to talk about myself. Compare with you all I’m very unlucky. Because I was living among wrong views and doctrines (these were God based religions, western and eastern philosophies and other worldly knowledges) until my 35 years of age (see the introduction). Most of my past lives were born as Buddhists, even not an ordinary one. Instead I was serving for the benefits of the Buddha Sāsana (such as Buddhist kings). But not becoming stream enterer before (i.e., sotāpanna) that in this life was born into the parents of without the Sāsana.
If you were born by Muslim parents and also become a Muslim. You don’t have any chance and choice for selections. I tried to become a Buddhist from the time I had the knowledge about Buddhism. I became a Buddhist only at the age of 35. At the time of making this decision still not a true Buddhist yet and only in name. Every year in the university I filled my application forms as no religions. (Here he continued to talk about his early life as a Buddhist and got lost in wrong teachings of worldly sects, such as tantra, mantra, and occult practices.) I took myself as a bodhisatta and not practiced vipassanā.
A bodhisatta (as a real one) must have completed with the following eight factors.
[These are:
1. A human being.
2. A male.
3. In this life he must mature with the paramis of becoming an arahat.
4. Encountered with a living Buddha (for the prophecy).
5. With the status of a hermit or a monk.
6. Completed with abhiññā (supernormal powers).
7. Making a very difficult offering (giving up his own life for it).
8. A strong desire of becoming a Buddha.]
It’s only right as a human and a male for me. I don’t have other qualities; such as encountered a Buddha and had his prophecy before. I had made myself as a bodhisatta with conceit and craziness (most people are self style bodhisattas). At the time when I made the decision of practicing vipassanā, my age was near 50.
Luckily, I did the practice. And when I was discerning impermanence suffered greatly for three times. This was near the arising of the knowledge of disenchantment. At that time I didn’t know Mogok Sayadaw’s teaching yet. But I did know the nature of how knowledges happened. It seemed like bitten by nine poisonous snakes, and I was very frightened. Enough was enough, and I didn’t want to become a Buddha anymore. At once I put down my desire of becoming a future Buddha. Having this severe and miserable khandha and I didn’t want to become a Buddha. Even this kind of khandha I didn’t want it for another life. I would fight with it to the end. My mind changed in to this direction.
The description about bhaṅgañāṇa (the knowledge of dissolution) and bhayañāṇa (the knowledge of fearful) was feeling the whole body fallen apart like sand grains. So, I was waiting for it to happen. But what I experienced was like this: a very sharp pointed iron rod which was fired into red hot. It seemed like with this red hot sharp pointed rod poking in between the big toe and the other toe. It was burning, hot and sharp sensations. With one poking, it bursts into flames. It was happening for the whole day. It was internal combustion. I went to the teacher and reported about it; “You told us before that it was like sand grains fallen apart. But I was burning with fire.” The teacher gave me the answer; “Yogis are not the same nature. Some are leading by air element, some fire element and some earth element, etc. So, there are different yogis. The elements have seven types of nature.” Later I knew these things gradually.
(The teacher was talking about the common experience in the practice. there was a book on samatha/vipassanā practice by one of the Saya Thetgyi’s disciples. It was “Diṭṭhadhamma Vipassanā”, clear explanation about the experiences of insight development; based from the suttas, commentaries, Ledi’s Dipanis and yogis’ experiences.)
Later U Ko Lay was approaching to me. (U Ko Lay was a former vice-chancellor of Mandalay University and a disciple of Sayagyi U Ba Khin.) He said to me; “U Sun Lwin, you’ll realize the Dhamma. This Dhamma had been confirmed practically before. But don’t talk with other.” At that time I was doing walking meditation. I didn’t reply to him because I had already made the resolution of noble silence. And then I did the practice without any deviation from the instruction. My insight knowledges were changing progressively. At that time I didn’t know anything about dispelling wrong views. (Not studied Mogok Sayadaw’s dhamma talks yet.) But I did know about dispelling diṭṭhi with the practice. I had put down my desire of becoming a Buddha. If I didn’t get this khandha again was good enough to me.
And then arriving to the knowledge of equanimity towards formation saṅkhar’upekkha ñāṇa. I knew that my knowledge was changing. There were some Dhamma Quotations pasted in the meditation centre. One of them was; “Don’t concern about it; with the concerning and it’ll be slanted and overturned.”
[The Dhamma Quotations seemed to be based on the sutta: “Bowl of Oil” in the Satipaṭṭhānasaṃyutta (SN.47.20 Janapadakalyāṇīsuttaṃ). A condemned prisoner carried a bowl of oil filled to the brim. He had to pass between the crowd and the most beautiful girl of the land who danced and sang exquisitely. If the prisoner was restless and the oil bowl slanted, his head would be chopped off because an executioner was following behind him with a sword. If the prisoner had passed the crowd without spilled any oil and he was free.]
I didn’t understand them. If you’re arriving to the last stage, you have to be equanimous or indifferent to the formations (saṅkhāra dhamma). Don’t want to be in winning and losing, but to be in equanimity. If not, diṭṭhi will stick with you. We’re not free from diṭṭhi for our whole lives. We’re suffered from diṭṭhi. It’s our companion from young ages. From births parents were starting to teach us. They’re our first teachers. They’re teachers teaching you to stick with diṭṭhi. I’m not blaming the parents. In accordance with the culture they have to be in this way. This is your father, mother, grandpa, grandma, etc. By giving names and become you and me. If I’m calling your name and will turn around and looking at me. Even it’s the same name and you’ll turn around. It’s not easy to change the whole process. We are in conditioning and it becomes a habit. We are making it to become a habitual tendency.
The Russian psychologist Dr. Pavlov said that human beings were exercising themselves from the conscious mind into unconscious mind; for example, type-writing, playing piano, etc. With learning and practicing, at last no need to do it carefully or mindfully and it becomes automatic. In the world all we learn are for doing in this way, changing the conscious into unconscious mind. This is the way of worldlings. The way of Buddha was doing everything knowingly and mindfully. This is not an easy way to make the conditioning into deconditioning. Does it not become conditioned by doing it again and again?
Dr. Pavlov did an experiment about it. In the morning he placed a plate of foods near a dog, and bound it with a chain for not reaching the foods. After ringing the bell and put the plate of foods in front of it. And then only the dog had the chance to eat the foods. Next day he fed the dog in this way for some time. At last he rang the bell and not gave foods to the dog. Even the dog not seeing the foods and its saliva were dripping off.
We’re making the conditioning in the reverse way. We’re practicing satipaṭṭhāna for changing the unconscious mind into conscious mind. Before diṭṭhi stuck with us was not knowing clearly. So, we need to contemplate with sati. Mogok Sayadaw said that without the middle way couldn’t realize Dhamma. In reality only after dispelled diṭṭhi is on the middle way. (This point is very important for all Buddhists, especially for practicing yogis.) Practicing in the extreme way could not realize the Dhamma. It’s self-mortification – atta-kilamatha nuyogo.
Another way is: I’ll not realize the Dhamma, so following one’s desire in the practice. He will want to give up when in the difficult situations. Enough now! I’ll try it again in next time. If you’re giving up, then this is following your desire. It’s the easy way – kama-sukhallikanuyogo. You have to practice in the middle way. It’s equanimity – upekkhā. You’re seeing anicca, dukkha and anatta. How to pay attention to (or) contemplate it? This is also not to do for a long period of time. Now instantly diṭṭhi falls off and instantly magga arises (Path Knowledge).
The layman who came last night was upasaka U Myint Htoo. In my whole life of propagating the Dhamma I had never seen a yogi suffered more them him. At the time of near realization his under feet were like cutting open with the razor blades. He informed me, “Ven. It’s so painful that my tears were falling down with the pain.” He was a teacher at a Mogok Vipassanā Centre. (As a teacher himself and not realized the Dhamma yet.) He had been practicing for a long time before, so lay down his conceit when came to me for the practice. He made a decision of during the practice, if the teacher was saying as white colour and it would be white colour. (i.e., have confidence in the teacher. This point is very important for yogi who practices under a teacher.) I would do it whatever the teacher told me. Only after making this determination, and he came to me for the practice.
(He had made the right decision. There was an interesting incident between Sāriputta and his former teacher Sañjaya Belatthaputta (Sañjaya Velaṭṭhaputta). After he and Mahā-Moggallāna became stream winner (sotāpannas), they went to see Sañjaya. They requested him together became the disciples of the Buddha. He rejected by asking them as, in the world which types of people were more between the wise and the fool. Sāriputta gave the answer of more foolish people than wise. So, Sañjaya told him not to worry for him of no followers. Because more fools would come to him and only a few would go to samaṇa Gotama. This point was very important because human beings will not be wise and intelligent without wholesome and wise educations.)
When he was suffered very badly and I asked him to have a rest. And then he asked me; “Ven. Do you know my spiritual faculties?” It wasn’t, and only I wanted him to have a rest. Not because I had this knowledge on faculties. At that time it appeared in my mind like this that asking him to rest. (Ven. Ānanda also practicing very hard and his spiritual faculties were in the state of imbalance. He wanted to lie down mindfully and had the realization in the process.) Without the practice having a rest made him uneasy. But he continued with the contemplation by lying down. He was practicing after the dhamma talk at seven p.m. and nothing had happened. So, it was better for him to sleep. It was between ten and 11 p.m. From lying down with his back and turning to the right side. I told them before that yogis should lie down on the right side. But he wanted to turn to the left side. During turning the body from the right to the left side as soon as his back body touching the floor, magga arises. (The Path Knowledge.)
Therefore realization of Dhamma is not just by sitting. When you let go of yourself and it can happen. It could be possible within second. Wanting to attain the Dhamma, the thought of letting me die with the practice is including lobha and dosa states of mind. With the practice, one has to be indifferent or equanimous to the situations. Attainment or non-attainment is not our matters. Our task is practicing rightly.
今天，我們已接近登頂之時，必須更加努力修行。禪修營明天就結束了，內心或許會浮現：「我能證得正法嗎？我有可能嗎？」若有這樣的想法，應當覺察這是「見（diṭṭhi）」。我經常講到見，導致有些禪修者產生混淆。有些人可能會問：「尊者，我們不能解脫見嗎？」昨天有一位女居士問我：「尊者，我們不應該與它對抗直到勝利嗎？」
為何要對抗以求勝？那是一種「想得證」的欲望。什麼是欲望？即是貪（lobha）。於是我對她說：「不要想要勝，也不要害怕輸。」中道即是遠離這兩種極端。
《法句經》中，佛陀也說到「不勝不敗」。那我們該如何修行？我們要修行成為那位「放下勝敗」的人，因為勝與敗都建立在「我見」之上。贏的人可能遭遇危險（例如：某年西方滑冰選手因比賽落敗而買兇打斷對手腿部），輸的人則心生壓力。唯有放下兩邊之人能得安樂。此時若心不平衡（三昧減弱），便無法順利登頂。正常地、不停地往上爬，必能抵達目標；若中途停下或遲疑，便難以達成。
列帝大師（Ledi Sayadaw）曾言：將豆子浸入水中，時機成熟自然會膨脹。同樣，世間萬法皆有其因緣時節。今日種下芒果，不可能明天結果；冬天亦非結果之時，夏天才是。
修行亦復如是：緣熟自然成辦。有個印度故事：某園丁養了一隻猴子。某日園丁出門辦事，囑咐猴子：「我剛種了一些幼苗，你要幫我澆水，好讓它們生根。」猴子很聰明，每日認真澆水。然而，它每天澆完水後，會將植物拔出來檢查是否生根，然後再插回去。如此操作，植物永遠也無法生根。
佛陀與莫哥尊者（Mogok Sayadaw）曾教導我們：修行應如以兩根竹子摩擦取火。摩擦一會兒覺得累了，就說：「我休息一下再繼續吧。」——這樣永遠也不會見到火。同樣地，若你努力修行後尚未證得涅ṃ，覺得疲憊就想休息一下，這樣是不行的。從頭到尾持續摩擦，火自然會生起。
尊者曾言：若已證得厭離智（nibbidā ñāṇa），便會見到五蘊的無價值與厭惡性，不再想要它們。這樣的「不欲」是關鍵。擁有五蘊，等同於累積如山的白骨。
讓我談談自己：與你們相比，我其實不幸。直到35歲以前，我都處在錯誤見解與異端之中（包括有神信仰、東西方哲學與世俗學問）。儘管過去多世為佛弟子，甚至曾為護持佛法的國王，但都未證得初果（入流果），以致今生出生於非佛教家庭。
若生於回教徒家庭，便成為回教徒，無從選擇。自從接觸佛法後，我努力皈依，真正成為佛教徒已是35歲的事。當時也僅是名義上，內心並未真正轉化。在大學裡，我年年於申請表上填寫「無宗教」。後來學習錯誤的教法，如密教、咒術、靈學等，自認為菩薩，而不修內觀。
其實，成為真正的菩薩需具備八大條件：
人身；
男性；
具備證阿羅漢的資糧；
親遇當來佛陀並得授記；
出家為比丘或隱士；
具足神通；
發心作極難之供養（如捨身）；
發堅定之成佛大願。
我僅具人身與男身，其餘皆無。從未遇佛，也未得授記。我當時自稱菩薩，實是傲慢與愚癡。
直到近50歲才決心修內觀。幸運的是，我開始修行了。在觀無常時，經歷三次極大的痛苦，那是厭離智即將生起之際。當時尚未學習莫哥尊者的教法，但了解智慧如何生起。那種痛苦彷彿被九條毒蛇咬噬，極為恐怖。我當時心想：「夠了，我不想再成佛了。」
我立即放下了成佛之願。擁有這種苦蘊，我不想再來一次，即便是要成佛也不願再承受。我的心就此轉變。
關於壞滅智（bhaṇga ñāṇa）與恐怖智（bhaya ñāṇa），典型描述是「身體像沙粒般崩解」。所以我也等待那樣的體驗。然而我實際的感受是：一根尖銳如針的鐵棒，燒得赤紅，插入腳拇趾與第二趾之間，灼熱與劇痛如火焚，持續整日，像內部燃燒般。我向老師報告，他說：「禪修者性質不同，有的主導於風界，有的火界，有的地界⋯⋯」這我之後才逐漸明白。
後來，U Ko Lay（曼德勒大學前副校長，U Ba Khin 弟子）靠近我，對我說：「U Sun Lwin，你會證得正法。此法已有多人親證。但不可與人談論。」
那時我正在經行，已發願守「聖默（noble silence）」，未予回應。我未偏離指導，繼續修行。內觀智慧逐步進展。當時我尚未接觸莫哥尊者教法，但在實踐中已明見斷除見的過程。我放下成佛之想，僅想不再得此苦蘊，已足矣。
後來證得「行捨智（saṃkhārupekkhā ñāṇa）」，我知道智慧正逐步提升。禪修中心貼有一句法語：「不要關注它，若關注，它就會偏斜與顛倒。」（出自《相應部．念住相應．國色女經》）
若你到達最後階段，便須對諸行平等對待（行捨）。不勝不敗，保持平等。否則見將纏繞不去。我們一生都未離開見，自幼即受其制約。父母、長輩從小教導我們「這是你爸爸、媽媽、爺爺、奶奶⋯⋯」，藉由命名，形成「我與你」，這種習性根深柢固。
俄國心理學家巴甫洛夫（Pavlov）指出：人類將「有意識」訓練成「無意識」。例如打字、彈鋼琴，一開始需留心，後來就可自動操作。這是凡夫之道——將覺知轉為機械。而佛陀之道是：每一刻皆具正念、如實覺知。從制約轉向去制約，極不容易。
巴甫洛夫曾做實驗：每天早上將食物擺在狗前，並以鐵鏈綁住，使牠無法接近食物。之後搖鈴並給牠吃。久而久之，只搖鈴而不給食，狗聽鈴聲便流口水。這是條件反射。
而我們修四念住，是反向操作——從無意識轉為有意識。過去見無所不在，是因無明。因此，須以正念觀照。
莫哥尊者曾說：「不依中道，無法證得正法。」真正步入中道，是見已滅。若修行太極端，便成了自我苦行（atta-kilamatha nuyogo）；若隨順欲樂與放逸，又成為樂行（kāma-sukhallikānuyogo）。
我們應依中道而行，即行捨、平等心（upekkhā）。觀照無常、苦、無我時，應不起貪著或厭離心。只要當下見到「見已滅」，則道智當下即生。
昨晚來訪的優婆塞 U Myint Htoo，是我弘法以來見過受苦最深的行者。證道之前，他形容腳底如被剃刀劃開，痛得淚流滿面。他曾是莫哥禪修中心的老師，但尚未證得正法。他已修行多年，放下我慢，前來我處修行。他下定決心：「老師說是白的，我就認作白的」，毫不懷疑，全然依教奉行。
某夜他受苦極重，我建議他休息。他問我：「尊者，您知道我的根器嗎？」其實我並不知道，只是感覺他該休息（如同阿難尊者證果時亦是如此）。他雖難以入眠，仍繼續修行，當時已晚間七點。
到了十點到十一點之間，他原本仰臥，轉向右側，依照我所教。但他內心欲轉左側，當他從右側轉向左側，背部剛觸地，道智（magga）即刻生起。
所以證道不一定是在打坐時發生。當你放下自己，它也可能在一瞬間發生。若抱著「我一定要證得」、「不成就我寧死」的想法，其中仍含有貪瞋心。
真正的修行應是：「無論證與否，皆非我所能決定；我所能做的，是正確地持續修行。」
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
重要的是要思考，今天我們更接近山頂了，必須努力修行。禪修營明天就要結束了，我能證得佛法嗎？這對我來說可能嗎？所有這些想法都可能湧現。如果這些想法出現，必須覺察到那是邪見（diṭṭhi）。我談論了很多關於邪見的事情，瑜伽行者可能會感到困惑。然後你們可能會問：「尊者，我們難道無法擺脫邪見嗎？」昨天一位女居士對我說：「尊者，我們不應該與之戰鬥以求勝利嗎？」你們為什麼要為了勝利而戰鬥？那是想要成功。什麼是想要？想要是貪婪——貪（lobha）。然後我告訴她：「不要想贏，也不要想輸。」中道意味著遠離兩個極端。
在《法句經》中，佛陀談到不勝不敗。那麼我們應該怎麼做呢？我們必須修行成為一個捨棄勝敗的人，因為兩者都帶有自我觀念。勝利者可能有危險。（幾年前，在西方，一位溜冰冠軍的腿被一個暴徒打斷了。這個人是被另一位在比賽中失敗的溜冰選手僱用的。）他會想著失敗者什麼時候會反擊我；而失敗者則有壓力。一個捨棄兩者的人是快樂的。那時心可能會處於不平衡的狀態（即，處於兩個極端）。定力會減弱。以正常的方式攀登到頂峰，你就會到達那裡。如果你停止或放慢速度，就無法到達那裡。雷迪尊者（Ledi Sayadawgyi）以前說過，你只是將豆子浸泡在水中，當時機成熟時它就會膨脹（即，緬甸常見的一種大豆）。
在世間，所有的現象都有它們的時間。你種下一棵芒果樹，想要它明天就結果是不可能的。在冬天想要它結果也是不可能的。它會在夏天結果。執行我們的任務也是一樣的。當時機成熟時，它就會完成。有一個印度教的故事。一位園丁在家裡馴養了一隻猴子。有一天他有事要出遠門，就囑咐猴子：「我種了一些小樹苗。你需要澆水讓它們紮根。」猴子很聰明，每天都給小樹苗澆水。澆水一段時間後，它又回來將它們拔出來檢查根部；然後又將它們種回土裡。如果猴子這樣做，這些樹苗永遠不會紮根。
佛陀和尊者（即莫哥大師）都說過，瑜伽行者應該像摩擦兩塊竹子來生火的人一樣。摩擦一段時間後感到疲倦，但火仍然沒有出來。所以，我休息一下。在這裡也是一樣，你們努力修行，但仍然沒有見到涅槃。我們現在很累了，應該休息一下。恢復體力後再繼續。現在，我已經聽到你們中的一些人這樣說：「如果我現在沒有得到，我將在未來一起繼續修行」。這顯示出意志消沉的跡象。在摩擦竹子生火的過程中感到疲倦，然後休息一會兒再繼續，永遠無法生起火。因此，無論如何，想要生起火就必須從頭到尾持續摩擦竹子，直到火出來。
尊者說，到達厭離智（知識）時，將會知道五蘊的無用，你還會想要它嗎（即，令人厭惡和無用——沒有實質）？不想要是最重要的一點。由於得到這些五蘊，骨頭堆積如山。我想談談我自己。與你們所有人相比，我非常不幸。因為在我 35 歲之前，我一直生活在錯誤的觀點和教義之中（這些是基於上帝的宗教、西方和東方的哲學以及其他的世俗知識）（見前言）。我過去的大部分生命都投生為佛教徒，甚至不是普通的佛教徒。相反，我一直在為佛陀教法的利益服務（例如作為佛教國王）。但在那之前沒有成為入流者（即sotāpanna），以至於今生投生到沒有佛法的父母家中。
如果你出生在穆斯林家庭，並且也成為穆斯林。你沒有任何機會和選擇。自從我了解佛教以來，我就試圖成為佛教徒。我直到 35 歲才成為佛教徒。在做出這個決定的時候，還不是一個真正的佛教徒，只是名義上的。每年在大學裡，我都在申請表上填寫沒有宗教信仰。（在這裡，他繼續談論他早年作為佛教徒的生活，並迷失在世俗宗派的錯誤教義中，例如密宗、咒語和神秘的修行。）我把自己當作菩薩，而沒有修習內觀。
一位菩薩（真正的菩薩）必須具備以下八個條件： [這些是：
人類。
男性。
此生他必須成熟成為阿羅漢的波羅蜜。
遇到一位在世的佛陀（為了授記）。
具備隱士或僧侶的身分。
完成神通（abhiññā）。
做過非常困難的布施（為此捨棄自己的生命）。
成為佛陀的強烈願望。]
對我來說，只有身為人類和男性是正確的。我沒有其他品質；例如，遇到佛陀並得到他的授記。我以傲慢和瘋狂把自己當作菩薩（大多數人都是自封的菩薩）。當我決定修習內觀時，我的年齡接近 50 歲。
幸運的是，我做了修行。當我辨別無常時，曾三次遭受巨大的痛苦。那接近厭離智生起的時候。那時我還不知道莫哥大師的教導。但我確實知道智慧是如何發生的本質。那感覺就像被九條毒蛇咬傷，我非常害怕。夠了夠了，我再也不想成為佛陀了。我立刻放下了成為未來佛陀的願望。擁有如此嚴重和痛苦的五蘊，我不想成為佛陀。即使是這種五蘊，我也不想再擁有來生。我要與之戰鬥到底。我的心轉向這個方向。
關於壞滅隨觀智（bhaṅgañāṇa，解散的知識）和怖畏現起智（bhayañāṇa，恐懼的知識）的描述是感覺整個身體像沙粒一樣散開。所以，我一直在等待它發生。但我所經歷的是這樣的：一根非常尖銳的鐵棒被燒得通紅。感覺就像這根紅熱的尖銳鐵棒刺入大腳趾和其他腳趾之間。那是灼燒、炙熱和尖銳的感覺。一刺入，就爆發出火焰。這種情況持續了一整天。那是內在的燃燒。我去找老師並報告了這件事：「您之前告訴我們說，那就像沙粒散開一樣。但我卻被火燒灼。」老師給我的回答是：「瑜伽行者的本性不同。有些人以風元素為主導，有些人以火元素為主導，有些人以土元素為主導等等。所以，有不同的瑜伽行者。元素有七種不同的本性。」後來我逐漸了解了這些事情。 （老師談論的是修行中常見的經驗。薩亞特吉（Saya Thetgyi）的一位弟子寫了一本關於止觀修行的書，名為《現法內觀》（Diṭṭhadhamma Vipassanā），清楚地解釋了內觀發展的經驗；其基礎來自於經文、註釋、雷迪尊者的《提要》（Dipanis）和瑜伽行者的經驗。）
後來吳郭雷（U Ko Lay）接近了我。（吳郭雷是前曼德勒大學副校長，也是薩亞吉吳巴慶（Sayagyi U Ba Khin）的弟子。）他對我說：「吳孫倫（U Sun Lwin），您將會證得佛法。這個佛法以前已經被實際證實過了。但是不要與他人談論。」那時我正在經行。我沒有回答他，因為我已經下定了聖默然的決心。然後我按照指示進行修行，沒有任何偏差。我的內觀智慧逐步變化。那時我對驅除邪見一無所知。（還沒有學習莫哥大師的佛法開示。）但我確實知道通過修行可以驅除邪見。我已經放下了成為佛陀的願望。如果我不再得到這個五蘊，對我來說就足夠好了。
然後到達行捨智（saṅkhar’upekkha ñāṇa，對諸行的平等心）。我知道我的智慧正在改變。禪修中心貼有一些佛法語錄。其中一句是：「莫要憂慮；若憂慮，則將傾斜翻覆。」 [這些佛法語錄似乎是基於《相應部》（Satipaṭṭhānasaṃyutta，SN.47.20 Janapadakalyāṇīsuttaṃ）中的《油鉢經》（Bowl of Oil）。一個被判刑的囚犯拿著一個裝滿油的碗。他必須在人群和一位舞姿和歌聲都極其優美的國中最美麗的女孩之間走過。如果囚犯心神不定，油碗傾斜，他的頭就會被後面拿著劍的劊子手砍掉。如果囚犯沒有灑出任何油就通過了人群，他就會獲得自由。]
我不明白它們的意思。如果你們到達最後階段，你們必須對諸行（saṅkhāra dhamma）保持平等心或漠然。不要想要勝敗，而是要保持平等心。否則，邪見將會困擾你。我們一生都無法完全擺脫邪見。我們一直受邪見之苦。它是我們從小到大的伴侶。從出生起，父母就開始教導我們。他們是我們的第一任老師。他們是教導你們執著於邪見的老師。我並非責怪父母。根據文化，他們必須這樣做。這是你的父親、母親、爺爺、奶奶等等。通過給予名字，就產生了你和我。如果我叫你的名字，你會轉過身來看我。即使是同一個名字，你也會轉過身來。改變整個過程並不容易。我們處於制約之中，它變成了一種習慣。我們正在使其成為一種習慣性的傾向。
俄羅斯心理學家巴甫洛夫博士說，人類正將自己從有意識的心轉變為無意識的心；例如，打字、彈鋼琴等等。通過學習和練習，最後不需要仔細或專注地去做，它會變成自動的。在世上，我們所學的一切都是為了以這種方式去做，將有意識的心轉變為無意識的心。這是凡夫俗子的方式。佛陀的方式是事事都以知曉和正念去做。這不是一個容易將制約轉變為非制約的方式。這樣反覆做，難道不會再次被制約嗎？
巴甫洛夫博士做了一個相關的實驗。早上，他將一盤食物放在一隻狗旁邊，並用鏈子拴住它，使其無法吃到食物。在搖鈴後，他將食物盤放在狗面前。然後狗才有機會吃食物。第二天，他以這種方式餵狗一段時間。最後，他搖了鈴，但沒有給狗食物。即使狗沒有看到食物，它的唾液也滴了下來。
我們正以相反的方式進行制約。我們修習四念處（satipaṭṭhāna）是為了將無意識的心轉變為有意識的心。以前邪見困擾我們是因為不清楚。所以，我們需要以正念觀照。莫哥大師說，沒有中道就無法證得佛法。事實上，只有在驅除邪見之後才處於中道。（這一點對所有佛教徒，尤其是修行的瑜伽行者非常重要。）以極端的方式修行無法證得佛法。那是自我折磨——苦行（atta-kilamatha nuyogo）。
另一種方式是：我不會證得佛法，所以在修行中追隨自己的慾望。當處於困難的情況時，他會想要放棄。夠了！我下次再試。如果你放棄了，那就是追隨你的慾望。那是安逸之道——耽溺欲樂（kama-sukhallikanuyogo）。你們必須以中道修行。那是平等心——捨（upekkhā）。你們正在看到無常（anicca）、苦（dukkha）和無我（anatta）。如何注意（或）觀照它？這也不是長時間要做的事情。現在邪見瞬間脫落，道智（Path Knowledge）瞬間生起。
昨晚來的那位居士是優婆塞吳敏圖。在我弘揚佛法的一生中，我從未見過比他更受苦的瑜伽行者。在他接近證悟時，他的腳底就像被剃刀片割開一樣。他告訴我：「尊者，太痛苦了，我的眼淚都痛得流下來了。」他是一位莫哥內觀中心的老師。（作為一名老師，自己卻尚未證得佛法。）他之前修行了很長時間，所以在來我這裡修行時放下了他的傲慢。他下定決心，在修行過程中，如果老師說是白色，那就是白色。（即，對老師有信心。這一點對於在老師指導下修行的瑜伽行者非常重要。）老師告訴我什麼，我就做什麼。只有在下定這個決心之後，他才來我這裡修行。
（他做出了正確的決定。舍利弗尊者和他的前老師桑迦耶·貝拉提普塔（Sañjaya Belatthaputta，Sañjaya Velaṭṭhaputta）之間發生了一件有趣的事情。在他和摩訶目犍連尊者成為入流者（sotāpannas）之後，他們去看桑迦耶。他們一起請求他成為佛陀的弟子。他拒絕了，並問他們，在世上，智者和愚者哪種人更多。舍利弗回答說愚者比智者多。所以，桑迦耶告訴他不必擔心沒有追隨者。因為更多的愚者會來找他，只有少數人會去沙門喬達摩那裡。這一點非常重要，因為沒有健全和明智的教育，人類將不會變得聰明。）
當他非常痛苦時，我請他休息一下。然後他問我：「尊者，您知道我的根器嗎？」並非如此，我只是想讓他休息一下。並非因為我對根器有這種了解。那時我的腦海中浮現出讓他休息的想法。（阿難尊者也修行非常努力，他的根器處於不平衡的狀態。他想正念地躺下，並在這個過程中證悟。）沒有修行而休息使他感到不安。但他仍然躺著繼續觀照。他在晚上七點的佛法開示後修行，但什麼也沒有發生。所以，他最好去睡覺。那是在晚上十點到十一點之間。他從仰臥轉向右側臥。我之前告訴過他們，瑜伽行者應該右側臥。但他想轉向左側。在身體從右側轉向左側的過程中，就在他的背部接觸到地面的那一刻，道（magga）生起了。（道智。）
因此，證得佛法並非僅僅通過坐禪。當你放下自我時，它可能會發生。它可能在一秒鐘之內發生。想要證得佛法，以及「讓我帶著修行而死」的想法都包含了貪（lobha）和瞋（dosa）的心態。通過修行，人必須對各種情況保持漠然或平等心。證得或未證得並非我們的責任。我們的任務是正確地修行。